Overheard in the office, what men really think

[josephinebonaparted]

A post from earlier thread got me thinking - the poster said she overheard men in the office saying that they DO hear the baby crying, but are only pretending to be asleep, even the ‘nice’ men. Another one from a few days ago was a poster being shocked at the things a group of ‘nice’ men where saying in a pub once their wives left.

It reminded me of when I was younger (and a lot less wise), I saw men in their 40/50s flirting with female clients at work (client facing role) and taking them out for cocktails and dinners, and literally stepping out of the bar to tell their wives that they were busy at work and can’t come home for bedtime. I was gobsmacked - one of them had a 2 week old baby!

Is this normal? If you work in a male dominated environment, is it really the case that guys don’t respect their partners like this?

I’ve worked in lots of places and some men are like this and some men really aren’t and are very nice and respectful of their wives

A LOT of men are awful.
I'd say most are good though. But it's not a huge majority.

No it's not normal. I work in an environment with 95% men.

It was however normal back in the day for outrageous flirting / drinks / 'banter' but those days are thankfully long gone.

This is the thing isn't it?

There seems to be endless grown women on here lately asking "Are all men like this?" or "Are all men like that?"

Or worse, stating that all men are like this and that.

It's ridiculous, like they just can't actually think logically that all men or all women are not the same.

Five years ago or so - before I had children my boss who had three small kids used to phone his wife and tell he he’d be working late and was ‘stuck’ at the office. He’d do a few more emails, take a long shit, potter about, then get the train home. Sometimes he’d get dinner at his desk or come to the pub. It was an eye opener. She had to do bath and bed and make his dinner if he came home for it. Every night.

A male colleague of mine will say ‘I’m not here for this’ at the slightest whiff of any ‘wife jokes’ and will leave the meeting if it continues.

I know the bar is in hell for saying this but this is the stuff of heroes - just calling out bs and going against the grain.

I call it out every time. Not in a confrontational way always, but in a way that I make it clear that it's not acceptable.

My one and only office job was working at a tech company, I worked in the sales and marketing department and honestly I found that a lot of the top sales guys were very like this. One would loudly talk about how he cheated on his girlfriend but not anymore since their relationship got serious when they moved in together. Bearing in mind they were together for 4 years before they moved in together!! Another one would make jokes about women, the kitchen and sandwiches etc. I was just out of uni and the newest hire and didn’t feel I could say anything but it made me really uncomfortable.

This isn’t my experience of working with men in general. I’ve been in my current job for seven years and I don’t think I’ve ever observed any of my male colleagues behaving like that. In my previous job, where I worked for eight years (in a very male dominated environment) I can think of two male colleagues that I considered to be shitty to their wives. Although I think one of them’s wife was actually also shitty to him; they just seemed like an awful couple really. They’re divorced now! The other one was a selfish twat with a massive substance abuse problem.

It goes both ways. Some men are just using their jobs as a smokescreen to avoid family commitments and/or have office flings. Others were dedicated to their families and would do anything for them.

There was the office 'separated/divorced' men's club, which had a revolving membership, as they got together and hit the town most weekends searching out wife no 2 (or 3), or side flings for those who were married and tagged along, in the bars and clubs.

At my old office in the City I reckon about a third of the partners (all men 🙄) were serial shagging bastards and two thirds were decent family men.

One of the worst was describing another man and scoffed that he “was still on his first wife” in a tone of amused disbelief that he was such a loser as he hadn’t traded up. He misjudged his audience on that one though.

My male boss is like this. It’s not really an issue where I work, but he would absolutely not tolerate misogyny or sexism from colleagues.

I used to live in China, where a lot of European and American companies have offices. Almost every man who visited on business was cheating on their wife/partner either with a local or an expat woman.

Almost every married mad who was expatriated there ended up leaving their wife for a local girl.

I worked in a nearly all male environment for many years and many men used to say things, behave appallingly whilst at work and my bosses were no better. This also included the bosses porn stash in the office, harassment, comments etc about customers, wives and girlfriends. They would all go out, lie about it to partners, act inappropriately and then have a good laugh the following day. There were a few good ones who said something but not many and the few females who joined the team left soon after. Things did begin to change in time but it was ingrained & still rife when I left. My husband was shocked at times when I detailed conversations, behaviour of colleagues.

Oh super. Another man-hating thread. Let’s all pile in. Men are such vile creatures aren’t they!

Going from my much older four brothers, every single one of my brothers are VILE. They’ve cheated, had multiple kids they’ve fathered & don't pay/bother with them, Domestic Violence against their exes.

It is very hard not to judge every man by my brothers disgusting standards BUT I know logically not every man behaves the same way. Most men I’ve came across are great & respectful. Just a few bad eggs ruin it for the good ones.

Dh got up in the night every night with our 3. 🤷‍♀️ It’s nonsense to claim all men are like that - but equally I never fail to be amazed at the incredibly low bar that women set and the shit they let men get away with. It’s very sad.

I worked in a very male-dominated industry where there were some absolutely vile men - I endured horrible sexism/sexual advances. There were also some nice ones but they were in the minority unfortunately!

@Iamdrained94 thsts very sad 😢. I have two brothers who are absolutely devoted husbands - maybe that’s why I had such high standards for my dh, as my dad was also amazing 🤩

I worked at a couple of companies in London where affairs/daliances were commonplace, especially in people who stayed down Tues-Fri.

It was like they had 2 separate lives, their family and home but then also their freedom in London during the week. It was never mentioned but it was pretty common knowledge amongst staff.

this has always been my experience with 99% of the men I've worked with too sadly.

Men are over 50% of the population in younger demographics. You'll always have some wankers.

I work and have worked with lots of men various ages, some are absolutely vile. Some are ok and respectful some are lovely. When the vile ones are being vile it's easy to go down a rabbit hole of thinking are they all like that, and the more you look for it the more you'll find it.