DH moaning that I go to bed early

[ItsDee]

So I usually go to bed at around 8pm most nights as I am just so exhausted with work and the children, I work 3 days per week and children are 6 and 3. I never know when my husband is coming home from work as it varies from 18:00-8, he leaves in the morning before nursery/school drop offs etc so the morning falls on me too. He keeps moaning that he just sits downstairs by himself most nights but I really cant help it I am exhausted, anybody else feel this way?

OP if my husband behaved like yours did in this scenario, I would have broken his hand off, not just hit it away. But mine would never even dream of speaking to me like that or treating me in that way.

His behaviour to you reminding him to parent his children whilst you are doing your job is what's wrong here, and not normal. Not you pushing his hand out of your face.

I guess the answer to that is how would YOU feel if he hit YOUR hand out of the way?

Yeah it's a pretty big drip feed!!

Or....weekends? Or days off? Or he does some of the parenting so she's not knackered by 8pm? Or doesn't call her awful names which shoving his finger in her face and dictating where she can Or can't work?

I think the question is actually whether OP would have dared to point her finger right in his face. It's an aggressive action on his part to start with.

I wouldn’t be staying up late to spend time with a man like this either, OP.

I imagine you don't feel in a position to leave him (you should, though), so my advice is to keep going to bed as early as you want to avoid him, and pretend he doesn't exist.

OP why are you with him?

Even before the update about pointing in your face and you hitting his hand it didn't sound as though you liked him much and he didn't seem to add much to your life.

Now it just sounds toxic.

End it and make a life for yourself alone.

What about the kids?

Winter is meant for us to sleep much more. If you're also like this at the height of summer, I think it's worth investigating, but looking after two young children, working, and probably running a house, in January I think it's totally normal and if we all slept more in these dark months I wonder if we'd have the same struggles with SAD and other mood disorders.

They will be happier and safer away from a toxic relationship.

They can maintain relationships with both parents without witnessing abusive language and violence.

Do you want them to think this is what a relationship looks like? Or would they be better learning that partners should respect and love each other, and that being single rather than not having love and respect is a perfectly valid choice.

Because how you handle this is what they will think is normal in a relationship.

if we all slept more in these dark months I wonder if we'd have the same struggles with SAD and other mood disorders

Yes, we would. SAD is triggered by short daylight periods.

Exactly.
Let's hope they didn't witness OP hitting their partner's hand away.

Wonder why that is?

8pm is very very early, maybe get yourself checked at the doctors, id say 10-10.30 more normal time

They'll grow up knowing that a man who calls his wife a "motherfucking cunt" becomes rapidly divorced. This is a good thing for them to know.

If my husband pointed a finger in my face he'd be missing one.

Your problems are nothing to do with being tired.

As you completely ignore the bit where he swore at her and pointed aggressively in her face.

We see your MRA bullshit.

Have you read her posts?

I really, really, REALLY wish people would read past the first post.

Having read your updates I don't think this is about you feeling sleepy.

You're resentful, angry and avoiding him.

Tbh I don't blame you. He sounds like an arsehole

You're doing everything for them yourself, so what difference would it even make to them? He doesn't seem to make much difference to anyone's life in a positive way anyway.

Drip feed? It’s a deluge!
First post: am I being unreasonable going to bed at 8pm
Replies: Yes, you should go see a doc to get checked out
OP: Oh I forgot to mention DH does nothing to help me out at all and is really abusive towards me “oh, did I not do anything wrong by hitting his hand out of the way”

OP - most replies will now be based on your first thread, probably suggesting more of the same. If you are really worried about your DH’s behaviour towards you, I would get this thread deleted and post in Relationships with the full picture. This is honestly such a massive drip feed.

It wouldn't hurt people to read all the OP's posts though

I agree but most won’t. So I don’t think this thread will end up being very helpful to the OP