DH moaning that I go to bed early

[ItsDee]

So I usually go to bed at around 8pm most nights as I am just so exhausted with work and the children, I work 3 days per week and children are 6 and 3. I never know when my husband is coming home from work as it varies from 18:00-8, he leaves in the morning before nursery/school drop offs etc so the morning falls on me too. He keeps moaning that he just sits downstairs by himself most nights but I really cant help it I am exhausted, anybody else feel this way?

I go to bed around 9 and leave DP downstairs till 11ish.
I am knackered though, 3 kids and the youngest (12 months) is still breastfed frequently through the night. I can’t remember the last time I had 4 hours of unbroken sleep.
DP quite likes it though I think, he waits till I go to bed then watches his crap on the tv in peace!

Why can't a grown man amuse himself for a couple of hours?

I like to be in bed early. I have fibromyalgia so most nights during the week I go at 8.30-9 and sleep by 9.30. I have often gone at 8 though and straight to sleep.
i need lots of sleep and throughout the years I’ve had lots of blood tests but nothing. Yes I have fibromyalgia but think I’m just a person who needs 9 hours sleep!
but get checked out just in case.

Hi, I’m 39, get up at 5:10am, my children are 7 and 2, I work 3 days a week also but I’m up up this early mon to fri, 6-7am on a Saturday for swimming lessons. Although I am pretty knackered right now, I usually manage to stay up until 10pm. There are times where I’m knackered for a good stretch and fall asleep earlier but it doesn’t last too long.

I agree with others and I’d go the doctors because the heavy periods could be causing low iron.

Please read all the OP's posts. An early bedtime is the least of the OP's concerns.

Hi, maybe some of us are odd but I work ft, 2 children and commute to work 3 days a week (70min joinery each way) and wfh 2 days a week.

Am in bed for 10pm as knackered.

But am often up with kids at night or with kids at 6am or 6am to commute to work

can you get a tv in your bedroom? Then you can both be together at least. I know people can be snobby about tv in bedroom but it helps me and hubby with this very similar situation.

YOU WERE NOT IN THE WRONG!

It's nothing to do with the hours she sleeps

Your husband sods off and leaves you to all domestic tasks without doing any, does he?

PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE, READ ALL THE OP'S POSTS!

The husband works full time, OP is only working 3 days a week, how's he not pulling his weight.

I go around 10.30 and I thought that early!!!

I wish this could be pinned to the top of the first page!

Whilst op may need a full blood check to rule out any medical issues, the biggest concern is the MFC she is married to 🥺

So this is exactly why I said pages ago that the OP should get this thread deleted and start a new one, preferably in relationships.
Hardly anyone will read all of her updates, they will keep coming on and posting the same bollocks and then you lot will keep posting to tell them to read her updates. They won’t, and it will continue.
She needs to post a new one detailing the ACTUAL problems

He's got you worn down so his behaviour seems 'normal' and you questioning it is a problem

Please call women's aid if you're struggling to end it.

That would be normal in this house. We also have children who wake frequently in the night, and then are early risers (often before 6am), so my bedtime is often 8pm. I think watch a bit of something or read for about 15 mins and fall asleep. I need about 8 hours of sleep, and more if I can get it. If I go to bed later and the kids get me up in the night and then up for the day at 5am I'm useless!!

He's out a lot doing his own thing. Doesn't do anything at weekends with the family

That's how

🤦🏼‍♀️

My god the poor man has to sit by himself for a couple of hours of a night poor baby....NOT what is he an infant that needs constant attention? My other half would love it if I went yo bed early every night it would mean he could watch whatever he wanted on the telly and he could play his console in peace aswell.
Sounds like a giant man baby to me I'd tell him to man up and I hate that phrase but seriously what has it got to do with him if u want to go to bed early? Not like u hurting anyone by going to bed early and there's nothing wrong with it.

Guidelines are that adults should get between 7 and 9 hours of good quality sleep a night. Good sleep hygiene also includes giving yourself time to wind down away from screens etc and going to bed at the same time every night.

PP who asked about having a lie in on the weekend - this actually isn't recommended as your routine should always remain the same. You also can't actually 'store up' sleep so it's pointless really in terms of trying to combat mid-week tiredness.

It sounds like you might need closer to the top end of 9 hours a night. I'd be working back from what time you are awake in the morning. So if you wake at 6am, you'd need to go to bed at 9pm to get 9 hours of sleep.

To be fair if you need to factor in an hour of waking to account for your children waking you then you are pushing back closer to the 8pm bedtime.

But if your DH wants you to stay up later in the evening maybe he needs to do the morning routine so you can have longer in the morning.

Be careful you are actually getting at least 7 hours of good quality sleep a night if you possibly can.

Poor sleep can lead to poorer health outcomes over a long period of time

I agree OPs husband sounds awful! But your DH would be pleased if you disappeared every night at 8? I'd be quite shocked if my DH wanted that.

High dose b vits complex before you get M.E

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! It's alright for men, they go out to work with nobody to worry about all day but themselves! The mental load us mums have is exhausting on top of everything else. I'm usually in bed for around the same time, because I just need to.lay and relax and have some rest! My day starts at 530am, I'm doing a very intense full time degree and have twins to get ready and sorted for school, as well as the washing the housework and all the in-between bits. It's exhausting! Ask him to come upstairs and snuggle up put a film on or something! That's what we do a couple of nights a week.