Overheard in the office, what men really think

[josephinebonaparted]

A post from earlier thread got me thinking - the poster said she overheard men in the office saying that they DO hear the baby crying, but are only pretending to be asleep, even the ‘nice’ men. Another one from a few days ago was a poster being shocked at the things a group of ‘nice’ men where saying in a pub once their wives left.

It reminded me of when I was younger (and a lot less wise), I saw men in their 40/50s flirting with female clients at work (client facing role) and taking them out for cocktails and dinners, and literally stepping out of the bar to tell their wives that they were busy at work and can’t come home for bedtime. I was gobsmacked - one of them had a 2 week old baby!

Is this normal? If you work in a male dominated environment, is it really the case that guys don’t respect their partners like this?

OP you're talking about a very different time though.

In my experience, and I'm in a very socially evolved city in the south east, men have fundamentally changed in the last decade or so, they've had to.

Most men over 50 are still like that, but the younger ones are like a different species.

In a restaurant setting a man got fired for sexually harassing a female worker (asking her sexual questions and being persistent). Has gf and baby at home.

I think that it is a common way of seeing the world of work as completely separate, and also, of course having no respect for your family.

Those kind of men would probably bring up how important their income is and how they are under pressure to provide it.

There's only one extremely socially evolved city in the south-east. I am thinking of moving back there, for some of these reasons.

Just as you can get some shitty men you can also get some bitchy women

@forcedfun

My name is unusual, there won't be anyone with my name in his office

I have never had a reason to not trust him but tbh having worked with so many bloody awful men in the past (many of who were family men / married etc) i don't think I'd ever fully trust any man tbh

Yeah, but women's verbal nastiness isn't a red flag for rapeyness.

We're talking about misogyny here. Similarly, you can find some unpleasant people of all races, but if large numbers of a more privileged and powerful race are being "shitty" or "bitchy" about a race historically and currently oppressed or discriminated against it adds whole huge extra dimensions of unpleasantness and is dangerous.

It is not that rare. I hear similar things regularly, because I listen. That was just one occasion that was recent enough that it came to mind.

This site is riddled with women making leery comments about men. Listen in to the conversation at 'girls' nights out or hen nights for sexually inappropriate comments about often much younger men. Women regularly criticise their husband/partner, run them down verbally and diminish them, joke about how easy their lives while their husbands are working to bring in the money to fit their lifestyle.

My H recently told me about some of the conversations he hears between groups of women at work. He will no longer meet with women alone because of their behaviour towards male colleagues.

People here don't like to hear it because it doesn't fit with the prevailing narrative on this site. 🤷‍♀️

You regularly hear middle aged women making sexual remarks about 16 year old boys? Really? And you have examples of middle aged women making sexual remarks about 16 year old boys on MN threads? Really?

Because women commenting on adult men in nightclubs on hen nights and criticising their husband's on MN, and your H believing he's at risk from his colleagues for reasons you've not shared, are all entirely different from middle aged women making sexual remarks about 16 year old boys.

That was the 'example' you chose to suggest women were as bad as men. Chosen deliberately for its shock value rather than for its prevelance or reliability as an indicator of female behaviour.

Middle aged women sexualising 16 year old boys almost never happens. Middle aged men sexualising young girls happens a lot. So women are not 'the same' or 'as bad as men' in this regard. I appreciate that doesn't suit your narrative but you considerably weaken your case by over egging the pudding.

I looked on Luis Suarez Insta earlier as I saw he DB post he had joined Inter Miami. There are some hideous comments about his daughter. She is blowing out candies on her 13th birthday cake & there are grown men commenting about her. There's another of his family on holiday & his daughter has shorts on (in a pre teen normal style - not grown hi at all). She was presumably 12 at this point. Horrible comments from men. I'm surprised his management haven't removed them. It's awful.

‘Listen in to the conversation at 'girls' nights out or hen nights for sexually inappropriate comments about often much younger men.’

I hate to break it to you, but women aren’t meeting up for nights out and talking about men! The opposite in fact, most of us are going out to spend time together, talk about OURSELVES for once, not partners, or kids.
I’ve been to a few hens recently, and TBH it wasn’t that much different. No-one was going on about men in an ‘inappropriate‘ way. We danced, ate, did an activity or two, chatted about work, our hobbies, travel, etc
No visits to strip clubs or ‘gentleman’s’ clubs, no doing stupid things to the bride to be either.

‘My H recently told me about some of the conversations he hears between groups of women at work. He will no longer meet with women alone because of their behaviour towards male colleagues.’

really? Sounds like he might be covering for something or blowing smoke up
your arse - are the pretty, younger women ‘hitting’ on the poor man? Does he have to be careful because of all the ‘woke ness’?

Male colleague was complaining something similar on a dept drinks night out, the reality is none of we women would go within a mile of the sleazy bastard if we didn’t have to, and not one of us would want to be alone with him in any situation.