Overheard in the office, what men really think

[josephinebonaparted]

A post from earlier thread got me thinking - the poster said she overheard men in the office saying that they DO hear the baby crying, but are only pretending to be asleep, even the ‘nice’ men. Another one from a few days ago was a poster being shocked at the things a group of ‘nice’ men where saying in a pub once their wives left.

It reminded me of when I was younger (and a lot less wise), I saw men in their 40/50s flirting with female clients at work (client facing role) and taking them out for cocktails and dinners, and literally stepping out of the bar to tell their wives that they were busy at work and can’t come home for bedtime. I was gobsmacked - one of them had a 2 week old baby!

Is this normal? If you work in a male dominated environment, is it really the case that guys don’t respect their partners like this?

I love this... where are these men?!! I want one lol. Married, thats where they are lol

Have worked in all male environments (apart from me) and have mostly had absolutely lovely colleagues.

I think it’s better than it used to be.

I worked in a strip club on a Friday and Saturday eve, it was a second job for extra money. I was in my twenties at the time and the number of men that would tell me they were blowing their wages and would be lying to their wives/partners. Many were lying about where they were too. I used to tell them if they were my husband/partner they’d be my ex. I didn’t last long in the job 😀

They have it all ways, because next thing they're saying they have to leave early because of the kids.

Used to work with a guy who did it all the time. Weirdly enough his kids were always ill on Friday afternoons when there was a team deadline. Even when his kids were 50 miles away with his ex because it was her turn to have them.

alot of PEOPLE are awful. At my restaurant we had a woman that came in at least 3 or 4 times a week on her way home from work. The usual suspects at the bar would buy her some drinks. She would take calls from her husband out on our patio and servers heard her tell him many times that She was SOOOOO sorry but that client was really needy today and she was trying to finish up..home soon..love you.. .right back in for another drink bought by a slimebucket at the bar. UGGH. Some men are amazing partners.. some are shit. Some women are amazing partners... some are shit. Shitty people are just that shitty.

My exh is one of these men. I remember it well.

He now has a baby with his new wife, and plays the same 'I don't hear the baby crying' game, but with my 13 year old daughter who gets woken up in the next room when she's staying at his and she tells me she gets up to see to the baby. Men like this never change.

Poor wee thing, it must be so hard for you to be forced to read each and every post on this thread. Who exactly is forcing you to read through it all?

I think this sort of thing comes up occasionally but it's not everyone. Not as bad as some of the anecdotes on here but in a previous job I had a male colleague who wouldn't tell his wife when he got a bonus and would spend it on himself or bet with it. He would take odd days of leave here and there, not tell his wife about those either and spend the day on the golf course. I just thought that was pretty sad.
I have one male colleague at the moment who has cheated on his wife (open secret) for years. He does it with female colleagues though so both sexes are to blame there.

Some men are nice and some are not.

Some women are nice and some are not.

The end.

Yep, and yet these one hit wonder OPs keep posting.

Fair enough - I wasn’t claiming it was all men or indeed claiming anything at all. Just genuinely surprised at how some PEOPLE are so blatant about it all! Why would you announce to your colleagues that you are a lazy bastard/slimeball?

You should try reading what people are saying rather than making assumptions.

My City-boy first husband used to be able to work from home largely when he liked and yet strangely when we had twins, straight on top of a one year old, he “had to be in all the time.”

And then he let slip that he had an arrangement with his boss that he could go in and get a few hours’ kip on the sofa in the boardroom, not to mention a nice cooked breakfast, hefty lunch and then his dinner if he had to “work late.”

Meanwhile I was on my knees with 3 babies.

Reader, I divorced him.

My hubby used to do the weekend night feeds as he drove for a living in the week . Sometimes he " Overslept " I used to give him a huge nudge in the back when I got back into bed ! 😂

Feel free to bugger off.

A lot of men are all mouth . Just chest beating and showing off to other males .

My (very lovely) ex told me recently that he finds it scary and upsetting, the way many men talk when there are no women overhearing. He said rape jokes are common, among other misogynistic behaviours.

Man here - he’s right.
Thankfully I’m quite picky with friends so have weeded out anyone like this over the years, and I absolutely will not tolerate it in the workplace either.

A core focus in many industries seems to have been stomping out this sort of thing along with bringing more women into typically male-dominated roles - both are great reminders that society does indeed improve sometimes!

I don’t think this was intended to be a man- hating thread, which is a welcome change from the norm on here.

I agree with this (obviously, I hope). All the same, men will carry on acting like twats until the vast majority of women reject them for it.

That could take a massive education programme to give all women good 'shark cages' AND much better support systems for women leaving bad partners. But it could happen - things are already improved since my youth; long may they continue improving.

Another thread of poison directed against a protected characteristic.

i wonder how long a thread entitled “overheard at the office, what blacks/jews/disabled people really think” would last.

Mumsnet has got to get a grip of this stuff. It’s just daily hate being projected into people’s homes.

I have worked in a very male dominated field, often presumed to be a man until I met F2F with others because we go by title and surname. The number of misogynist men is a minority, but the damage they did was so memorable that it has distorted my memory of working in that field. I must have worked with several hundred decent, friendly, competent men, but can barely remember them while the handful of bad men, I remember them all with perfect clarity.

Agree. I worked in a male dominated office. It's was a small minority that was seriously flirty and having affairs. Maybe 2 in 10 if that. 1 was clearly having a office affair. 1 was clearly wanting too but being knocked back. Much the same pattern in each team I worked with. Most of the blokes was often talking nicely about their family.

However even the ones having affairs was nice guys unfortunately.

Not noticed this. Three of them sitting near me used to speak to their wives on the phone every day in the most sickly lovey-dovey way. Never saw them flirt with anyone else.

There was one arse that rated women on their looks but he was an arse in every way, talking negatively about whoever was out of the room at the time, poisoning the whole office atmosphere.

Men in teaching don't seem to behave this way. So I think it's probably more prevalent in industries which are more male dominated & when there's lots of them together.

I didn't know about men deliberately staying late at work & going away on business more frequently (when babies are little) until I read Mumsnet. It's quite depressing tbh. They're probably the first to complain if the wife doesn't fancy hopping into bed.