To find it unfair that my DH doesn’t seem to want me to work?

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Slightly complex situation here.

I work full time as a teacher. To cut a long story short, it isn’t really working for me- long hours, tough conditions and three small children that I hardly ever see. I’m hoping to leave at Easter. Having gone from doing everything round the house as a SAHM for a few years, my DH has found it hard that now he has to pick up his share of pick ups etc. DH is happy at the thought of me quitting my job.

We’ve got a holiday cottage that I’d like to run instead of teaching. I think I can make it work around the children a bit more, and I’ll be able to do most of the pick ups and drop offs. All fine.

However, there’s a part time job that I’ve seen advertised and that I’d really like to try doing. Its museum work. It’s 28 hours but over a rota of 7 days. My DH really doesn’t think I should go to the interview (which is next week) as he thinks it won’t make our lives easier and that I should just stick to cleaning and running the holiday cottage.

I can’t help feeling that he just wants things to be easier for him, and for me to revert back to doing all the pick ups and drop offs. He doesn’t earn loads so the part time wage that I could bring in might help us financially. He just says I change my mind a lot, and that I’m frustrating.

I would look for a job with set shifts instead, it will make you life so much easier. You're also going to miss out on a fair amount of family time if you can be rota'd on to weekends.

I’m new to this. I was thinking it would probably take me most of the changeover slot 10:00-3:00 to clean it to be honest. It’s a small 2 bed cottage, but I’ll be on my own cleaning it.

Yes I was planning to buy extra sheets and do the linen during the rest of the week so it’s ready for each changeover.

You are right. I won’t be getting ‘paid’ for this per se, but it is money that I won’t have to pay out. A local agent told me I could save up to 7k a year by cleaning it all myself, but I’ve heard that it is a big commitment. (And that I’m going to spend a lot of time ironing!) But I’ll put radio 4 on and it will hopefully still be infinitely preferable to being abused by 30 teenagers every day.

Museum -
28 hours per week on rota
Shifts are either 10-4 or 10-5

Holiday cottage -
Cleaning
Monday or Friday 10-3
Washing and ironing
Days in between changeovers

The problem is that they might clash so I would have to pay for cleaning on those days.

Would continue to do the best paid work you can get - for your personal earning ability, pension etc

Museum job sounds great - you must protect your private and state pension contributions by working - I agree he just wants an easy life.

Yes, you see this museum job (although low paid) is directly focused on what I did my MA in. In many ways, it’s a perfect sideways step out of teaching.

No if it’s a 2 bed cottage you will be doing mainly 3 day lets with 5-7 days in the peak seasons. Could you manage to cover that with the museum hours? Otherwise you need a super reliable cleaner who is flexible and they’re hard to find.

Just as a heads up, a few friends work part time in museums. They regularly have to do overtime and very rarely have a weekend off (certainly almost never in spring/ summer/ school holidays).

Go for the job of you want to, but it is likely to make life harder/ see you spend less time with your children.

Entry level museum work in a permanent role is in my experience very rare and super competitive. Do you have any museum sector experience, or a relevant degree? By all means apply, but it's probably not an easy job to get without relevant experience.

Edit, apologies cross post. They're still usually expect volunteering etc not just a degree.

Go along to the interview if you have been offered one and find out everything you can about the museum job.

I don't see as the museum job and the holiday cottage are mutually exclusive. Surely if you are working at the museum on changeover day and therefore can't clean the holiday cottage you pay for cleaning to be done that week.

Also, this is your choice to make, not DH's. He doesn't get to block you from working just so that his life can be easier. They are his children too, I presume.

Can you not have changeover day on a Saturday then it can be a shared job between you?

Ideally you need a min of 3 sets of everything, plus mattress and duvet and pillow protectors (these dont need swapping over as regularly.)
You dont need to iron things, you will kill yourself and its not necessary.

Holiday periods have changed - people are looking for shorter stays than weeks - so as someone else said, you will have alot of requests for 2-3 night stays, and flexible check in days.

If you have a holiday company then you will be paying a fair wodge to them in commission fees. AirBnB and HomeAway are less, and you can list and integrate calenders, but its not so easy to adjust prices because shorter breaks are more expensive per night than if they stay a week or at the weekend, and fluctuations in peak periods. That takes a while to set up. Or get your own website and manage it, but then you need to promote. Its all swings and roundabouts.

You will find guests coming through holiday cottage companies will be more demanding than those through AirBnB.

Allowing dogs seems to be the new big thing too.

Absolutely apply for the museum job. Your job isn’t to make everyone else’s life easier, and virtually no one is suited to being a SAHP, anyway.

I know quite a few people with holiday cottages and they only do their own cleaning if the cleaner is away! It's hard work, especially if there's people coming in for one or two nights as there often is if it's Air B and B, depends if you can book whole weeks out (which is easier but hard on Fri/Sat.

Having a fulfilling job is probably, I would say, one of the keys to happy life. Most people don't have it and hate their work or don't mind it= to actively get to use your MA and enjoy your work would be a gift indeed. I love my job and it keeps me sane. It's a shame your husband doesn't see that doing a job you find interesting and uses your skills and doesn't make you mentally unwell (like teaching would me too) isn't a bonus for you all.

I would see if you get the job, you may not.

Doing cleaning for a holiday cottage is a boring job, but worth it if you get enough income to do things you enjoy/are passionate about, which could include more time with the kids. With those hours you could do most drop offs which would be great.

Personally I would do a bit of supply teaching to suit you- ideally 2 or3 days a week. You say you don't see your kids much- as a teacher you have big holidays- suddenly getting 5 weeks a year that you can't always dictate exactly is a big jump and you may end up not seeing them much more.

On the other point though your H simply wants you around so he has to do less- that's not good - and if he isn't a high earner either then I would personally want to keep a career in place- one that you can be upscale easily if the need was ever there.

Go for it. DH doesn't get a say and it seems like he's more interested in what makes his life easier anyway which is unfair.

Much of this is accurate, but there is no guest source that is more demanding than any other - it’s down to individual guests. 😬

Holiday agencies such as English country cottages and Sykes charge around 20-24% commission. On VRBO and Airbnb there’s no commission but up to 15% in service charges which can either be passed on to the guest or paid by the owner (it comes to the same thing really).

If OP gets the museum job she could manage the bookings herself on VRBO/Airbnb but employ a cleaner.

I don’t think it would be wise for OP to spend her weeks cleaning for free in terms of pensions or financial protection in case of marriage failure.

Not really.

Whoever is at home will need to have the three DC. It will be impossible to do a full changeover while looking after the children at the same time.

Hang on you’re quitting your job that you trained for so that your OH doesn’t have to pick up his kids?

Put the breaks on here- is this really what you want to do??

I'd go for the interview, and prepare for it as if you genuinely want the job and intend to take it if offered. If you do get the offer, you'll have a lot more information and can then discuss with your husband an decide together what to do. even if you don't get he offer or you decide not to take it, the experience of interviewing in a relevant field should be useful.

You're putting an awful lot of emphasis on being available to clean the holiday house, and I understand that the cost savings is important - but keep in mind that doing that is not giving you on-the-job experience, credentials, or connections to leverage professionally/long-term. (Managing a holiday let might be useful experience, if you haven't done it before, but doing the cleaning vs hiring someone to do it won't).

I agree with previous posters who have said how competitive museum jobs are.

Nonetheless, if you are on half a term’s notice you could apply anyway without risking your teaching job.

Otherwise, could you consider staying on until the end of the summer term? Going by my local authority’s dates you’d be paid for 5 months but only teach for 13 weeks, plus you’d have Easter, half term and summer holidays without having to find childcare.

Your husband sounds like a lazy prick.

The hours don't sound very good at the museum. How about looking at applying for Exam Marker work, although seasonal. Also Exam Invigilator work. Both of those would be more manageable along with the holiday let as they are flexible around your existing commitments.

28hrs a week is almost full-time, and working shorter working days over 5-7 days per week will still feel like you're working full-time, in my experience.

It sounds like your husband really begrudges doing any share of the household and parenting. This is a big issue that needs to be addressed.

Clearly it is A Sign that the museum vacancy is in your area of expertise! Agency to run and clean the cottage, or just sell the bloomin' thing (I would, but I don't like complications in my life). Then the museum hours will be less of a problem. Mon-Fri you'd be available for school drop-off every day, pick-up some days, ASC (or DH) covering the rest. For the weekend shift he can jolly well look after his own offspring. It may reduce the amount of profit from the cottage but it'll still be more than nothing, plus your salary for a 28 hour week, quids in surely?

Working weekends brings its own challenges. It’s possible you will be working one weekend on / one off or more annoying, Saturday one week and Sunday the next. With three kids, you will need to rely on other parents to help with logistics. I’ve been here.

28 hours over 7 days having to pay for ASC
you will hardly notice a difference than working full time and could even be worse off
also at school I presume u park on site where museum no doubt commute park then walk in
tbh your swapping a shit situation for one that’s just a bit less shiter