Ex got 8 years in prison for Dv , he’s contacted me and still wants to be with me after 3 years

[LouiseShard]

My ex went to prison for dv he got 8 years and I have a restraining order . It’s been 3 years and he got back in contact with me and I was so happy he did as I missed him despite all the Dv I know it was both of us why everything happened . He’s said he’s a changed man and can see he’s wrongs and is working so hard to fix everything he did wrong taking courses etc. am I being naive, can someone actually change should I give him another chance , I feel like he does love me to risk contacting me after everything he could have moved on and had every reason to hate me for the sentence he got , why’s he still saying he loves me and can’t forget me , advice please be kind

You’re being stupid!! He is in prison for crying out loud!! Stop being a mug

You need to get in touch with the prison Governor today and tell them you don’t want contact from him.

I really hope you don’t have children.

Wake up, there’s no point asking people to be kind when you need to understand the you’re putting yourself under getting back in touch with him.

Absolutely do NOT get back together with someone who:
1, abused you
2, you have a restraining order against
3, is in prison for hurting you

There are soo many men out there why choose someone who has demonstrated that they can and WILL harm you. Who cares if he’s been rehabilitated? Also Surely you know talk is the cheapest thing in the world - it’s free!

What matters are actions and his actions have harmed you. Risking the restraining order and contacting you isn’t a sign of his love for you. He has victimised you in the past and he wants to see if you’re gullible and easy to victimise again. Men always come back - not because they love us but to see if we’re still stupid enough to take them back.

He doesn’t love you, a man that can harm you like that never can. There is no harm or fear in love. If you take him back, it may be nice for a short while - but it’ll 100% end in absolute misery.

Well hurry up and report it.
Move on. If he had changed.. he wouldn't STILL BE BREAKING THE LAW. Report block ignore..

Have you ever thought he might want revenge op ?

You need to contact the prison and let them know he is attempting contact.

He will likely kill you if he gets out and you choose to see him. Is risking your life worth some horrific man? I’d like to think not.

Did you get any therapeutic help after he was sent to prison for abusing you?
Because it sounds to me like you are still vulnerable to becoming his victim again.

True and lasting love isn't about finding yourself a convenient punchbag be it emotional or physical and, from your side, it isn't about becoming someone else's punchbag.
You need to source some professional help before going down that road again, and if you did have therapy when he went to prison then you need a top-up.

He wants to finish the job. You don't really think he'll forgive you for 8 years inside do you.
He'll murder you and your kids will go into care.

Read this over and over until it makes an impact. You’re putting yourself in such a dangerous situation.

If he got 8 years and has contacted you after 3, it’s because he’s expecting to be released soon and probably has nowhere to go and nobody to abuse and manipulate.

Kindly, you are being astonishingly foolish and naive and need lots of counselling and therapy to help you to understand why even entertaining communication with your abuser is completely absurd. You are only thinking in this way now because of what the abuse did to you psychologically, which is the saddest part. You will be vulnerable to him and to others seeking to abuse until you do a tonne of mental health work on yourself. He knows you are vulnerable to his bullshit and if he was truly remorseful he would accept that what he did to you means no way should he ever contact you again. He doesn’t care, he just wants a pathway back to abusing you.

@Ireneking "PLEASE BE KIND"!!! what kind of idiocy is this????? this is wooden box stuff!

Yes because he doesn’t care, teaching you a lesson and probably killing you is more important. Ffs wake up

No

There will be two reasons. First of all he won't have anywhere to go to and will be unemployable. He knows this and wants a soft landing in your home. The second reason is to punish you for putting him there in the first place. There are no other reasons. If he loved you, he wouldn't have been hitting you. he certainly wouldn't have hit you enough to get an eight year sentence.

You need serious therapy.

Are there children involved? Speak to WA and take their freedom course to prevent you getting sucked back into an abusive situation.

OP no, please don’t let him contact you. Report this now. I feel scared for you. He just wants to control you again.
You are not to blame for his DV towards you.
Please reach out and get some real support now.

I’m so serious 😩
Well op, take it seriously then.

The fact that you are even considering this is terrifying..it wouid he the most stupid thing you have ever done.

The man is a scumbag who beat you....why the fuck would you go h
Back.

Ffs hes still breaking the law contacting you and you're wondering if you should be kind and get back with him ? Going back n forward between this is real/cant be.

If you desperately want to get back with the prisoner who beat you , go for it...🤷‍♀️

@EverybodyLTB - This 100%.

Look love doesn’t result in a 8 year prison sentence. Nor is this a love conquers all situation. You are not the exception.

Please report the contact and ignore it. Even if you’ve engaged with it up to now report it.

And get yourself into therapy. It either didn’t happen previously or you weren’t in the right place to engage.

And report to the police. Almost certainly breaking restrictions while in prison and you need protection as a victim.

OP he’s betting on you not reporting him. He’s still controlling you. Please please report this and get help.

NO, NO and NO again!! Absolutely not! Use your brain please!!