DH "giving me a lay in"... AIBU?

[LancashireSquirrel]

I don't think I am but still...

DHs idea of me having a lay in, is telling the DC that mummy is having a lay in today. And then continues to lay in bed while the DC get louder and chattier. Then I get up because they ask for breakfast, only THEN does he get up and tell me IABU because I got up!! WTF?!

I then call him out on his behaviour, telling him if he wants to give me a lay in, he needs to physically GET UP.

He then stomps off downstairs (leaving the DC upstairs with me!). I then take the DC downstairs and ask him what that was about. He then goes on to say "I can't win blah blah blah". I rage at him (quietly!) telling him how dare he put this on me, as if it's MY fault for getting up!!!

AIBU?! Surely if you want to give someone a lay in... you need to get up, and not gaslight them into making out like they were the ones who got up first?!

I’ve just typed out a lengthy response only to loose the lot!
so I’m short I’ve come here to say… that after having a shitty husband who felt everything he did was ‘helping me out’, and reading threads like this… I am so bloody grateful to me free of him! I’m happier as a single mum than I ever was a married Parent… because now I only have to consider a child and not have to be in the middle trying to keep both a child and man happy, both wanting to do something the other doesn’t want to! Me in the middle trying to negotiate and keep both happy! I never realised till after he’d gone how I was only happy if they both were, how their happiness or lack of impacted me! How much I did and how unappreciated I was… He left because the marriage was ‘no longer pleasing HIM!’….. selfish turd!!
He ran back up to his mammy… 300 miles away from his responsibilities, sends his DD a birthday card and Christmas card each year and occasional text asking how the weather is… has visited once in a year and half! But will no doubt expect thanks when he’s older because he’s paid minimum child maintenance for her each month! Only contacting me to see how the divorce is progressing… not to ask how she’s getting on at school etc!
Find it so sad how fatherhood often brings out the worst in men…. Before that he was a good husband, but once I was pregnant and the attention was taken away from him, WOW! Jobs he’d previously done for us were suddenly for me, to help me out, to give me a break (even though I was doing 100% of the baby stuff!)
Anyway I’ll leave my grumbling there!

Oh where were these words of absolute wisdom when my son was little and my O/H was a selfish twat face who stole all the lie in’s. I could have been a stone or a rock but instead I was a doormat!

OP’s DH making matters worse because of his non apology. Two strikes!

Classic MN ‘grammar / colloquialism tangents: worth it for ‘bed chicken’!

You're right. It is equally their father's responsibility. I'm simply writing from the pov of a woman/mother. In the absence of men stepping up, we have to break the chain and help stop the propagation of the same problem with the next generation.