To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

I use an EGG, the yellow unscented one. Does the job

Well no not hasn’t - because people have given ‘explanations’ based on something else entirely

All my blouses have been crying in the wardrobe since you have started this thread

But then they are big girl, big girlsblouses.

It's been explained loads of times.

But again for you in very simple terms.

The phrase traditionally means 'you (male person) are being girly when you do x/y/z'.

That is old-fashioned and sexist. Obviously.

I have no problem with the phrase big girl’s blouse. I think people are derailing what the thread is actually about.

My big girl blouses are getting a bit shirty over this phrase. Can we please concentrate on OPs original problem instead of trying to control her speech?

@KarenNotAKaren have you tried the two suggestions yet?
Put tumble dried items on clothes airer so pretending to be wet?
Leaving wet washing behind him/under bed?

It would be good to see if it’s an allergy, trauma based, or simple wankery on his part.

Sure but I guess I’m a little surprised. Mumsnet has such a strong feminist board and I hated growing up being told I was being ‘a girl’ or a ‘big girl’ or the full phrase ‘big girl’s blouse’. Just find it really weird it’s seen as ok on here. Just same old sexist shit that normally gets called out on mumsnet.

But…but…it doesn’t mean that! At all.

I’ll say this in very simple terms: girl’s blouses are (traditionally) made of delicate and flimsy material. Saying someone is a ‘girls blouse’ is comparing them to the blouse. Not to a girl.

Do you understand that the ‘girl’ inclusion is about the type of blouse rather than women themselves?

WASHING UPDATE

Today I left a big pile of (not yet washed) clothes in the “Ready to go in the dryer or on the line” pink wash basket. The white one is normally the ‘smelly clothes ready to be washed’ basket.

Plonked the pink basket with the smelly not yet washed clothes masquerading as damp clothes, in the middle of the kitchen diner.

He said nothing! Even when I was “mind you don’t trip on that washing I need to dry it” he just said “OK”. Interesting 👀

I haven’t commented on the phrase. But I don’t like it I have to admit. I don’t think it means larger woman. It just sounds generally denigrating towards women to me. Like a girl’s top is wishy washy and pathetic. It’s hard to disconnect the clothing item from the women wearing it and feels like a slight on women.

I would never say anything in public or think it worth challenging. It just has a sexist ‘feel’ to me (not very articulate of me I know!) I only mention my views here because you asked!

It is a bit like ‘you run like a girl’ to me in terms of an insult.

I'm very confused. Why did you do this?

Peer pressure, and fun

YABU for 'big girl's blouse'. I this the seventies?

Thank God you’re here, no one is yet to point this out

Where did you get this definition from? 🤣

Google throws up the explanation in many places - what do you think it refers to?

God I could never imagine being so soft that this being typed out on a parenting forum would upset me. Some of us have real problems I guess!

Ah yes, the typical all feminists here think the same thing bullshit, or even all women think the same bullshit. And the I hate it so everyone must stop using it too bullshit. It's a you problem. Scroll past, you are allowed to.

@KarenNotAKaren so your update means it's more likely to be your washing powder or scent that's causing his issue. What do you use?

I’ll be honest, I use whichever brand os on offer. I have used scent free ones before that are SO expensive and he is the same no matter what brand I use

That's weird then if you are using different ones. Maybe try an extra rinse and spin before removing from the washer?

People are also allowed to be offended.

So be offended, but dont police peoples language

You can be a feminist and not be offended by jokey, silly references.

Oh for goodness sake I didn’t expect you get so defensive! It’s clearly something a lot of us think so there is at least some ambiguity about it. To me it’s up there with ‘you throw like a girl’ and ‘stop being such a woman’ so that’s my gut reaction. It’s ok you’ve never taken it that way and good for you I suppose! Perhaps when it was used around you it was meant differently.

When I was brought up it meant you’re a pathetic girl lol and that was definitely what boys meant but ok. Let’s face it, it’s not a compliment is it.

No idea about your washing mystery OP, but depending on where you live, could offer some support on the PTSD issue. DH is clinical lead for NHS Veterans Mental Health - if you’re happy to PM me your county/location, I/he could point you in some useful directions for support (varies from region to region, but all have a service)

It’s not supposed to be a compliment

Not a compliment to women and girls.