To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

OP I think we could be best friends 🤣 this post has given me a much needed chuckle this morning!

You sound like you love your annoying husband dearly, don’t we all! 😂 I hope you get to the bottom of this, in the meantime enjoy all the air drying nakedness 🙃

How does he manage to dry the dishes or himself after showering?
Id be tempted to hang out dry washing to see if his allergies kick in. Just as another experiment ☺️

Ha Ha, madness. (How do people get out of the bed in the mornings?)

It is the people who can't think critically we need to worry about, imagine having to go through life not thinking too much about anything so it doesn't overload the brain.

The phrase is an old-fashioned sexist phrase. Knowing that doesn't make it harder to get out of bed.

He sounds pathetic 🙄 it's all attention seeking, do the experiments of wet washing under the bed, do it everyday for a week, if there is no allergy reaction (which I guess there won't be) I'd have great pleasure in telling him.about the experiment and tell him to get a grip and stop been so pathetic. Its a narssacistic way of controlling you

OP you sound a delight. Your poor husband

OP please do this, and update us 🤔😆

Maybe he is allergic.

I have family memebers who are allergic to cats. They are ok at mine for a while and then start to sneeze or scratch.

just try non bio and maybe fairy or comfort pure.

I love this thread. The thing is, no one does laundry for fun.

My husband is a bit funny about there being wet washing hanging around. He also hates the tumble dryer (noisy! Expensive!). But, realistically, he also needs clean clothes.

Yes it's definitely big girlsblouse rather than biggirl's blouse. I've not heard it for years, but called Dcat it twice yesterday when she frightened by the hoover and later by a leaf. Very useful phrase.

That is awful. Maybe there is some connection.

He needs some help. I would be interested in the connection with the laundry thing.

And would still want to see some ‘action’ and motivation from him to discuss the psychological impact. Approached with kindness of course.

I am extremely sensitive to detergents and chemicals, one of my kids is too. If I go near my mums washing (washed in bold) or anything similar I will sneeze, develop a rash etc. I can only use the tesco non bio liquid without itching. I have yet to try the natural sheet kind because they are so expensive. I would wash a load In just water and then put it near him to see whether it's the washing detergent at all. Any sort of dampness or dust sets me off too so maybe he just associates the smell of wet washing with a wet type smell and it sets something off. He should see a doctor though, that's a lot of compromise to make always using a dryer.

Given that the poor guy saw his best friend shot and killed in front of him and could have died himself says he's not a massive baby. He's a man with trauma. You are a judgemental moo though...

Shall I send him to live with you?

I am a delight thank you. And I’m sexy too.

If you can afford the machines, just get the machines. It's really not worth all the drama... nor the sneering, bitching and name calling.

Chemical sensitivity is particularly common with people who have served in the armed forces and similar roles. Your test didn't sound very scientific and you seem to be struggling with not feeling compassion, as well as using language that denigrates women and shames men for having any vulnerability. If you are shouldering too heavy a burden of domestic work it's entirely reasonable to ask for help with a different task to compensate you but please educate yourself around this issue.

Chemical sensitivity is often brought on by extreme chronic stress and trauma. There is definitely a connection

What ‘squaddie speak’ have I displayed? I’m not and never have been a ‘squaddie’ so to speak like them is a happy accident.

AS me. I’m not a man.

Also my DH was in the infantry - as far away from upper rank as you can get

Also can anyone actually explain how ‘big girls blouse’ is sexist.

It refers to the material of women’s blouses being delicate and flimsy. Not women themsleves. Certainly not ‘big’ women - if you said “you big wimp” you wouldn’t mean “you fat wimp”

Surely if it’s anything it’s blouse-ist? I apologise profusely to all the offended blouses out there. And to those blouses, I say to you: it could be worse. I’ve just been accused of a being a man.

It's been explained about fifty times on the thread.

If you can't understand the explanations that's on you.

Could not get worked up about the phrase big girls blouse… wow 😂

Exactly!! I used to call my staffie dog a big girls blouse!!! Due to him been an utter wuss and not portraying the tough staffie facade!!

I feel for this lady, but also get the feeling she has a fantastic sense of humour. I'd love yo be a 'fly on the wall' when she experiments with hiding the wet washing near him!!!

OP please answer one thing....if his clothes on his body get wet during rain what happens then, or his bath towel gets wet when he dries himself? Surely he can smell the washing powder/liquid/softener on them especially if its first time wearing and it rains!!!

I think what you've said so far sounds unkind. I base that on my personal experience of something similarly illogical upsetting me for no obvious reason that I could identify. It started off small but got bigger because the person I lived with was dismissive of it because it wasn't important to them and they didn't agree that it should matter. They even went as far as you did to try and trick me and prove it was all in my head. I knew that it was illogical already but it's not like everyone can always control everything that's 'just' in their head. So it got worse because I then had this thing but I also couldn't trust the person I was living with not to ambush me with it. If I'd have been living alone I could have just made small adjustments to the way I lived and no one would have been any the wiser. We all live 'just' in our heads and we all make adjustments to our lives to accommodate our needs. When you live with someone you need to have a frank discussion with each other about which ones are non-negotiable for each of you and then respect that. I don't know what the rest of your relationship is like but in this one instance your complaint definitely seems unreasonable to me given the level of distress you report it's causing him. I do also agree that it sounds like he could be more proactive about finding solutions that accommodate you both though.