Husband thinks I'd be selfish to go to the wedding

[Ribyloo]

A little context as I know otherwise this may sound odd. I am a teacher at an independent secondary school in the north. A few years ago I was really hating my job, i was teaching three A-Level subjects (Maths, Further Maths and Economics), had 3 small children, my mum was unwell. It was a time where I really wanted to quit and give up.
One student (the only girl in further maths and economics) was in all 3 of my A-Level classes, we developed a positive relationship and I ended up taking up a bit of a pastoral role with her too, she was struggling with her mental health.
She went on to study a related subject at a top university, then a masters and is now in her last year of her PhD in a related field. I've kept up with her progress and as a teacher I think she is possibly the student who I'm most proud of. There were days where my main motivation to go into work was knowing she was relying on me being my best so she could be her best and now I feel like I've seen her achieve that. Anytime I'm in London we meet for lunch or coffee, when she comes back up north she will pop into see me at work with cakes or a gift and to see her other A-Level teacher. This ex-pupil means a lot of me.
Today I received an invite in the mail for her wedding later this year. She's getting married in London, so would be a case of travelling Friday after work and back up the Sunday. Her other A-Level teacher has also been invited. My children are now between 10 and 16 so don't need me at home as much as they did. The issue is the Monday after I leave to take a group of pupils to Italy for a 5 day trip.
My husband thinks if I'm effectively gone Friday-Friday I'm being selfish, as he will be solely responsible for them for a whole week. I've offered to arrange for parents/friends to sort the kids but he still isn't happy. He said he'd get it if it were a friend or family member but not some "random ex pupil". This isn't the first time he's had a problem with this student, her graduation was an issue and several of our lunches have been a problem too.

AIBU to go the wedding even though my husband thinks it selfish? Or since she isn't family or a close friend should I put my family first and be there for them?

he's well jel!

Oh no he has to parent for a week 😱 honestly sounds like your relationship issues run far deeper than this trip though.

tell him you're off to the wedding. they will be fine

You don't need to defend your perfectly reasonable actions. There are strange people out there.

Go!! My English teacher was at my wedding and her daughter was a bridesmaid. It meant so much to me.

How lovely that you helped this student reach her full potential, and she appreciated this so much that she’s invited you to her wedding. Of course you must go.

Seeing students flourish against the odds must be one of the great rewards in teaching.

I have to laugh at some of the comments, though it’s sad rather than funny that some people have to put a downer on every good thing.

Have a wonderful time at the wedding, OP, and best wishes to your ex-student.

Please go to the wedding! You’re a very important person in this woman’s life, and it seems she in yours. Your husband is being a selfish knob.

Jesus tonight. I'm still in touch with my English teacher and I left school in 1985. I used to pop back into school to see him and a couple of other teachers. We've met for lunch & coffees. We've exchanged Christmas & birthday cards, he's met DH & DS. If he'd have been in the country when we got married he'd have been invited.

There is and never was any 'safeguarding' issues. The boundaries were never blurred. There was no imbalance of power. There was nothing more than a teacher being proud of a pupil has done well.

Oh no! He has to parent his own children for a week! 😱

Tell him to pull on his big boy pants, be a father and go to the wedding.

Go, and enjoy. Celebrate her special day. Sod him, he sounds pathetically childish and jealous. You clearly have a great rapport and special bond. End of. Have a great time!

Go to the wedding.

Your husband can enjoy “baby sitting” his own children. Sounds like he could do with the experience.

Absolutely go! What a wonderful thing to know you have had such a positive impact on a student! You should feel honoured to have helped pave a young person's way and she obviously appreciates you.
The wedding is perhaps not the best timing, however it can't be helped.
Enjoy it and celebrate. Could you try and compromise a little? Could hubby bring the kids down to London on the Sunday and all have a family day out together or even on the Saturday and they can busy themselves whilst you're at the wedding but feel like they're involved a little before your trip away?

You should definitely go and have a wonderful time!! You will always regret it if you don’t x

Go to the wedding! Don't listen to moany face H.

Ignore your husband, absolutely go

It's once in a lifetime. And not selfish at all! Go for it OP

What is wrong with your husband. Not at all supportive… You should go. Your husband should be able to take care of the kids and quite frankly should want you to go.

OP he sounds....jealous!! And a utter idiot of course.
She means alot to you so go. No if and buts and definitely don't miss it because he is being a man child. Your kids are old enough so it's not like he's running around toddlers all week is it.hes being unreasonable and you know it so just don't entertain this nonsense.

Go!! They are his kids too and anyway pretty independent. Remind him that he regularly goes away for 2 weeks and you just get on with it so he can too. Pathetic!

Go. It will be lovely.
Absolutely don't batch cook. Don't prep anything in fact & that includes the ironing. Possibly get the kids looking at some recipes to make with dad.

It's a fantastic opportunity for them ALL to learn some much needed life skills. They wont come to any harm even if they eat nothing but junk for a week. But it WILL make them appreciate you slightly more. And it sounds like that might be a damn good thing too.
Enjoy that wedding!

Please go and enjoy it - it’s not unreasonable. I think your husband is being a bit of a d* to be honest.

if this invite had come out of no where I’d say don’t go but you’ve kept up a lovely friendship and they would clearly value you being there. Xxx

Tell your husband to get stuffed and grow up. I've never heard anything so outrageous. This is one of the hills I'd die on.
If he can't look after the children for a few days he shouldn't have had them.
What the fuck!!!!

Go to the wedding. I’m also a teacher, and those real connections with students are few and far between and are really special.

My (now ex) husband said he “loved how passionate” I was about my job when we met, but later would complain and begrudge the fact that I still had a strong reason to go to work when he hated his job, and he resented me doing anything outside of school opening hours. Maybe your husband is jealous that he doesn’t get that same sense of purpose/connection with his work? Maybe he just “doesn’t get it”, but neither of those are reasons for you not to go.

You know the answer to this post already…. Let all the women on Mumsnet reassure you.
Hes behaving like a twat.
Just go the the wedding. Your older kids probably won’t know you have gone.
your husband has previous here as you well know. Passive aggressive. Stroppy PETULANT!
fuck that! Don’t give him an option. Just tell him you’re going.
Don’t feel guilty, it’s ridiculous.

Don't you dare batch cook either. For God's sake he's a grown man. He clearly views you as a kind of servant. Why is looking after children, cooking and cleaning your job.
And yet he goes away for 2 weeks at a time it's him that's selfish.
Did I go back in time 50 years? I cannot believe I'm even reading this.