Do we keep quiet about child trust fund?

[AuntieSoap]

DD’s child trust fund matures shortly and I’ve been paying into it every month for 18 years. I split with her dad (exH) in 2015 but even when we were married, it was only me that paid in. ExH is really stingy, earns well into six figures but only pays the bare minimum maintenance and thinks I’m ripping him off in the process.

The CTF is now worth about £16k and so my plan was always to say that’s her parental contribution for university. She’ll only get the minimum loan as my salary is over the threshold, but I’m a single parent with two kids, a hefty mortgage and commuting costs etc so don’t have loads of spare cash. I’m fine, not crying poverty, just giving the full picture.

ExH knows that’s DD has a child trust fund but doesn’t know how much it is. Ideally, he would contribute half of DD’s university parental contribution to make it up to the equivalent of maximum loan. However, if he knows that DD is coming into this money, the likelihood is he won’t help her financially. If he was to pay ‘his share’, some of the CTF money could go towards a lifetime ISA or travelling, or anything really. It’s DD’s money and technically, she can do what she wants with it.

Anyway, I don’t want DD to lie, or put her in a difficult position, but it’s not her dad’s business how much she’s got in the bank. Am I being unreasonable to encourage DD to keep schtum about this, or is that a burden too great for an 18-year old? I suspect it is, so any ideas on how to play this are gratefully received.

Tell her to keep quiet about it, he needs to pay his half.

That's kind of where I'm leaning, thank you 😊

If I was you I would withdraw and close account. Wait until uni is sorted then re-evaluate the finances. Ex husband doesn’t need to know your financial situation and when approached with uni fees it should be clear on how much, when or if he is contributing. Morally 100% he should contribute. If it’s between not going to uni or him and yourself helping then it should be split 50/50.

That link actually says that maintenance continues only until the end of Alevels or equivalent. That doesn’t cover university and it suggests that parents come to some arrangement.

It's her money, it'll go straight to her so it'll have to be her decision whether to put it in an ISA or not.

^This

It doesn’t work that way. The bank will write to the child to let them know. The Op would have to intercept and hide the letters from the bank. Not really ok (and possibly illegal)

I don’t know why you would even question being quiet about it and telling your daughter to do so too. I will be doing exactly that myself.

Parents can't withdraw the money.

OP can't siphon money off money. Only her DD can do that once she is 18.

I would be inclined to remove the additional funds that you paid into the CTF, keeping in it the government amount plus interest (my son's is about to mature and I've not paid extra into it, it's worth c £1400)
Put the money into a high interest or isa in your name. When your daughter goes to uni you can start giving her a monthly amount.
That way your daughter doesn't have to hide things from dad and the money you have diligently saved can be given to your daughter for the reasons you wanted her to use it for.

Did tell
the ex that it was going into an isa untill after her uni is complete .

He doesn’t nee to know your business .
Why should he get of Scott free

OP can't remove money, it is her daughters. She is just managing it. Only her daughter can touch the money and not until she is 18.

I'm afraid you can't, the trust fund becomes automatically the right of the child once they turn 18.

Yeah the mother should be topping that up significantly is she's a high earner.

It is fair, if ex is buying 50% of things DS needs including clothes, pocket money, school dinners, school trips and hobbies.

If not then OP is out of pocket.

to be fair, he could argue that no one forced her to save money in this fashion and she could have well saved in an alternative vehicle thus avoiding this situation.

The child will be able to see how much is saved when they are 16. My dd has had a letter with her national insurance number and the ability to log into the child trust fund and see the amount. She can choose to take control over this but can't withdraw the money out until she's 18.

Tbh in your shoes op, can you afford half the uni fees if dd doesn't use her trust fund money? I'd be tempted to tell her the money is to do with as she wishes. You and her df will go 50/50 on uni fees etc. maybe it's worth she uses the money for driving lessons and a car or a house deposit. But do make sure she knows it from you and you alone. Maybe her df would like to give her the equivalent amount to add to the house deposit

You should look into the 50/50 part for your son OP. Child maintenance is still payable for half the nights if the father isn’t doing his share of the caring I.e. does the father do an equal share of picking up, dropping off, clubs, hospital appointments etc? If not, it might be worth speaking to CMS!

@coffeeaddict77 Because the amount of loan the student can apply for is dependent on the income of the parent they live with. Which is usually the mother. That parent is expected to contribute the value of the gap.

Parents are supposed to fill the gap but there is nothing stating only one parent should do. They look at the income of the house the student lived in for ease and it is probably why parents aren't forced to pay (they would have to do the loan calculation properly and take the income of both parents into account if they were going to enforce payment).

Put half in Isa for age 25 and other half is your contribution to uni fees, dad pays his half

So he could argue that she should have saved the money in a vehicle he didn't know about so he wouldn't have been able to find an excuse not to pay half the cost of his child going to university?

It is a myth that 50% means no cms. They have to provide day to day care Inc school and doctors etc proof of meeting needs. Less than 6% of 50/50 arrangements require no cms....this is what I do for a living. Submit application and ask for a mandatory reconsideration. Also re the child trust fund. Sit daughter down and say of you tell him he will not contribute. If he thinks he does not have to he won't. If you are primary parent then it will be based on his income....as for DS when it comes to him going possibly to uni male ex his primary carer he will then be expected to pay for it all as based on his income. Of he won't son can go to LA who will give him exemption. Hope this helps

And that £500 will be given directly to the child after she’s 18 until she’s 20. That’s a lot more than anyone I knew at uni had coming in monthly!