Do we keep quiet about child trust fund?

[AuntieSoap]

DD’s child trust fund matures shortly and I’ve been paying into it every month for 18 years. I split with her dad (exH) in 2015 but even when we were married, it was only me that paid in. ExH is really stingy, earns well into six figures but only pays the bare minimum maintenance and thinks I’m ripping him off in the process.

The CTF is now worth about £16k and so my plan was always to say that’s her parental contribution for university. She’ll only get the minimum loan as my salary is over the threshold, but I’m a single parent with two kids, a hefty mortgage and commuting costs etc so don’t have loads of spare cash. I’m fine, not crying poverty, just giving the full picture.

ExH knows that’s DD has a child trust fund but doesn’t know how much it is. Ideally, he would contribute half of DD’s university parental contribution to make it up to the equivalent of maximum loan. However, if he knows that DD is coming into this money, the likelihood is he won’t help her financially. If he was to pay ‘his share’, some of the CTF money could go towards a lifetime ISA or travelling, or anything really. It’s DD’s money and technically, she can do what she wants with it.

Anyway, I don’t want DD to lie, or put her in a difficult position, but it’s not her dad’s business how much she’s got in the bank. Am I being unreasonable to encourage DD to keep schtum about this, or is that a burden too great for an 18-year old? I suspect it is, so any ideas on how to play this are gratefully received.

With a lifetime isa you get a penalty for withdrawl for other reasons.
If she doesnt use for a house she would keep the capital for pension. However bear in mind savings limit of 6-16?k for universal credit. Savings may also affect unemployment benefits if she struggles to get a job post uni. (Although i guess she might use to pay off student loans.

Tbh i would prefer child accoungs to give option of parent control until at least 21 if not 25.

https://www.wake-smith.co.uk/advice-centre/family-divorce-law/children-advice/How-does-children-going-to-university-affect-maintenance-and-ongoing-financial-support,-in-2023$3F#:~:text=If%20the%20child%20maintenance%20has,A'%20levels%20or%20the%20equivalent.

Here is the first link I found, until she's 20 he's obligato pay the same amount of maintenance he always has but direito her rather than you while in full time education .

I know this because my husband and his brother, years before we met, took their dad to court to ensure he continued to pay

You seem to resent that your ex ‘only’ pays £500 maintenance for one child… (as he has DS half the time so no maintenance paid - fair enough).
You say your income is above the uni threshold not sure why you are so adamant your ex should give you even more.

I think most posters know this🤦‍♀️

butvyoure average soon to be student will usually take clewrcsteer form parents who’ve contributed.

yep, if you’ve a very irresponsible and arrogant kid, they could insist “ill bloody do what I like with MY money”, but I doubt most parents would have kept channel money into the trust during later teen years with such a kid

we paid into the old style “HTB ISA” for both our adult kids. We’ve only just handed over total control to them, cos we couldn’t be bothered to manage accounts for them anymore (they were in their names and all legit for, HMRC, ), just they couldn’t be bothered in their 20s to have to think about them. They took it as written, that we were gifting the money for the monthly payments and therefore had their interests at heart. most kids are lik3vthwt, looking to their parent# to guide them into sensible financial decisions.

it stops before that age if they’re in tertiary education or no longer in education . I.e. university.

and yes. Keep it quiet! It’s not his business. Ask if he’ll redirect the same amount of maintenance to her uni costs.

Because it costs more than £500 a month to bring up children.

It’s not a race to the bottom.

What’s the uni finance situation going to be with your younger child?

Where am I adamant that he should give me more? That's not the point of my thread.

As an aside, and because you're insinuating that I'm grabby (like he does), his salary is double mine, yet I pay for school meals, uniform, trips and activities.

Same I guess. I'm paying into a CTF for him too.

Exactly. It's the DD's money. And surely as such her father doesn't need to know about it? If a child has a Saturday job or holiday job, surely that money isn't taken into account when maintenance is determined. Isn't the child's CTF money the same? It's an investment belonging to the child, not money to use for living expenses.

https://www.wake-smith.co.uk/advice-centre/family-divorce-law/children-advice/How-does-children-going-to-university-affect-maintenance-and-ongoing-financial-support,-in-2023$3F#:~:text=If%20the%20child%20maintenance%20has,A'%20levels%20or%20the%20equivalent.

You are incorrect

As others have said, if the money could be saved towards a house deposit, that would be better than spending it on uni living costs. I’d absolutely be suggesting to my dc to keep this money quiet. There may be no legal obligation for him to help fund his child at university , but what kind of parent ( especially one earning six figures) wouldn’t want to help!

As others have said, the money is DDs, and I don't think she should be using her money to offset either parent's financial responsibility to top her up at Uni.

I think it should, in it's entirety, be saved by DD for a future house purchase in whatever vehicle suits her circumstances best.

And then top up maintenance for uni should be paid by whoever has the responsibility to do so under current guidance (I believe it's the resident parent upon who's income the loan amount was assessed - but I'm not 100% on that as it hasn't be relevant to our family situation so I've not done extensive research).

I'd suggest the CTF just isn't mentioned. It's not a lie, just none of your ex's business.
DD has put some of hers into a Lifetime ISA and the rest in Premium Bonds which she's done quite well from. She did move some into a savings account recently though now that interest rates are better. Lots of options for your DD to look after her money sensibly until she needs it.
I hope it all works out well.

But he is bearing the cost too when the kids are living with him (50% of the time for one and slightly less for the other).

I was about to say this too. The OP and her ex don't get to choose, although they can advise.

My ds has about £18K in his, maybe a bit more now, and hasn't had to touch it while at university as he had other savings that he has eked out for living costs and we have paid his rent. He knows about it and has full access but I hope it will be the basis of savings for a house deposit. Or indeed just getting started in a graduate job - I had to borrow money for my first month working as I didn't get paid for a month, so having money for that sort of thing is useful.

And of course the dad should bloody well contribute to university costs! What is wrong with these parents who think they shouldn't (if they can afford it).

Technically, yes. The financial expectation for uni is on me because I'm the resident parent.

As an aside, and because you're insinuating that I'm grabby (like he does), his salary is double mine, yet I pay for school meals, uniform, trips and activities

if his salary is double yours then he should be paying 2/3 of those costs while you pay 1/3

If there's any choice in the matter then hold it back for a deposit on a house.

I received a sum of money when I was 18 and I was 'keen to be responsible' but
I just wasn't able to think long term. I made it last what I thought was a long time, but in hindsight, I just spunked it.

I think most parents would want to help.

But they may have significant other costs and expenses in their life that no one on here knows about ?

Unless you do a full audit of someones finances, it's hard to be confident about what they can and can't afford to pay, especially with recent cost of living increases including potentially large increases in mortgage payments.

I am sure that if a ‘child’ goes to university then the father is still required to pay/support until 21 if it is continuous education from school. As a student, in theory, if they have no way of supporting themselves without parental contributions then both parents are obliged to do this. I am sure there was a case where a ‘child’ took their parent to court to get support and it went in their favour. I may be wrong …

(Surely if a child is 18 in September but still had one year to complete A levels, the father would still pay until the end of the school year even though the child would be almost 18 🤔).

Gah he should 100% be contributing 50% of further education costs. This tapping out of parenting costs at 18 is ridiculous.

If he wasn't willing to pay up I'd be locking that Trust Fund money for something else and make your daughter put pressure on him to support her 50% at Uni (an amount/allowance agreed between both of you). He can afford it.

Sending sympathy OP - I think I'll be in the same boat with my ex, another one who can afford to look after his children financially but holds on tight to the bare minimum level he can.

If he has both DC 2 nights a week he'd be paying well over £1k a month. Does he have DC staying over with him 3 or more nights a week and weekends? Otherwise he is under paying. Go to the gov website and put his salary into the CMS calculator and how often DC sleeps over at his house to get the correct calculation.

Tertiary education is post a level.

Child support continues until the end of the academic year in which they turn 18. If they continue in the secondary level education (up to end of A level or equivalent) due to failing gcse or a level then support continues up until the age of 20 or they pass that level.

It does not extend to uni as this is tertiary level education.

Yeah that was a drip feed. He pays you 500 a month, and he has his son 50 percent of the time and his daughter nearly 50 percent? That’s very generous. You’re taking the piss here. You’re responsible for your kids 50 percent.