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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Roast dinner at 1 - which of us is being rude?

338 replies

Rachellllleeee · 31/12/2023 13:21

Lighthearted.

I always do a roast dinner on Sundays for 1.00. Always have - we've been married for 30 years and kids have now left home.

DH is frequently late. He does an activity on Sunday morning, he could easily be back in time, but chooses to socialise after.

I spend around 2 hours preparing and cooking the dinner. Sometimes it's slightly later than 1.00 because it's not an exact science even after all of these years.

If DH is late, I start to eat mine. I'm not waiting for him to finish chatting whilst my lovely roast dinner cools on the side, to microwave it when he eventually turns up.

He thinks I'm being rude by starting without him. He thinks I should wait and reheat both dinners if he's late.

AIBU?

OP posts:
PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 31/12/2023 13:23

Would the world end if it was slightly later to allow him time to socialise?

AprMayJune · 31/12/2023 13:24

Yanbu but you both don’t sound very flexible towards the other

Teenagersscarethelivinshitoutofme · 31/12/2023 13:24

I understand you've done the same thing forever but is now not the time to say that 1pm does not work for 50% of those eating so may be worth renegotiating the time? Seems pointless to go to all that effort just to prove a point by eating alone.

LegArmpits · 31/12/2023 13:24

Lol

Topofthemountain · 31/12/2023 13:24

I think 2024 might be the year to eat at a slightly different time. Go for it.

TinySaltLick · 31/12/2023 13:25

Have you considered just mutually agreeing a time to eat

DominoRules · 31/12/2023 13:25

Could you just make it a bit later so he has time to socialise and be back in time to eat with you?

MojoDojoCasaHouse · 31/12/2023 13:25

YABU and really old fashioned to expect your DH to not have anything to do on a Sunday every week except eat lunch. Even back in the 80s more mum switched to Sunday dinner in the evening so we could enjoy the day.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 31/12/2023 13:25

Just cook it for later so he can socialise for a bit. Do you still like each other generally?

ShirleyPhallus · 31/12/2023 13:26

Sometimes I think other peoples relationships are just so weird. Now is one of those times. Poor husband.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 31/12/2023 13:26

Why would you not simply move the time to 1:30 or something.

IGotItFromAgnes · 31/12/2023 13:26

Why does lunch need to be at 1pm if it no longer fits into both of your schedules? Can’t you make it at 2, or even in the evening and get him to cook it 50% of the time

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 31/12/2023 13:26

You could have your roast for tea instead…

OwlWeiwei · 31/12/2023 13:26

Times other than 1pm are available and would work for both of you. Problem solved.

PurpleFlower1983 · 31/12/2023 13:26

How about moving it to 2?

AgnesX · 31/12/2023 13:26

Is it just the two of you? Why don't you change lunch to dinner and find something else to do.

Just because you've done it for 30 years doesn't mean you can't change.

edwinbear · 31/12/2023 13:27

Does he actually want a roast dinner every Sunday lunchtime? I’m not sure I would, delicious at it sounds. I’d find it quite restrictive and would spend the rest of the afternoon asleep on the sofa!

Original poster
Rachellllleeee · 31/12/2023 13:27

No, I don't have to do a dinner, we both just like it once a week and I have the opportunity whilst he's out at his activity. It just annoys me that he agrees a time to be back and then doesn't stick to it. If we said 1.30 he'd see it as a pass until 2...

OP posts:
DewHopper · 31/12/2023 13:27

Go for 2pm OP - 30 years is a long time to be doing the same thing!

weefella · 31/12/2023 13:27

I wouldn't be reheating mine just because he chose to come back late.

I would look at a compromise though and plan for it to be ready at a slightly later time. Just because you've always done something a certain way, it doesn't mean you have to carry on like it forever.

Helloandgoodmorning2 · 31/12/2023 13:28

I would certainly do it later and enjoy the peace and quiet while DH is out, then enjoy a nice meal together later.

MatildaTheCat · 31/12/2023 13:28

Lighthearted? Bizarre more like.

A roast is one of the easiest meals to hold back until you are ready. Rest the meat, lower the oven and stick the veg on when he gets home. May I dare suggest you even enjoy a glass of something together before sitting to eat?

Eating alone is a joyless experience except for toast which is brilliant.

MyGirlDaisy · 31/12/2023 13:29

I would either make it for a later time/evening or meet DH at the pub for a Sunday roast there.

AlisonDonut · 31/12/2023 13:29

I would just do it for 2. Or not do it. Or make a roast dinner just for yourself.

PuffyShirt · 31/12/2023 13:29

Why not move it to later? Do it at 3 instead.