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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to think we should get the best room?

236 replies

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:21

Haven’t raised this and highly possibly I won’t as I don’t like confrontation especially not with friends at the expense of a good time but canvassing to see if my expectations are reasonable or not.

Going away for new years for two nights with a group of friends. Was originally supposed to be 3 couples and one single man but one of the couples has split up so it is now 2 couples and 2 single men.

Rooms available are:
1x single
1x twin
1x double
1x double with en suite

all in a lodge type thing.

I found the accommodation (which was not easy as there were various requirements that needed to be met), paid for it on my credit card (everyone has paid me back), have organised an activity for this evening for everyone and generally corralled everyone together to facilitate the trip.

AIBU to think the en suite room should be offered up to me and my DH? It is it fairer to flip a coin between the two couples?

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 31/12/2023 09:23

How has the cost been split?

MadeOfAllWork · 31/12/2023 09:23

Ideally it would be nice if your friends said for you to have the room but I think it would rude to insist. So flip a coin it is.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:24

@Soontobe60 everyone has paid the same - didn’t realise the en suite situation until yesterday

OP posts:
Cmonluv · 31/12/2023 09:24

If you're paying per person, so splitting the cost 6 ways then the single folk get a single or twin room and d code between them and couples decide which double they'd prefer. If you're splitting by room... The singles get the better room as they're paying more per person.

Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 09:24

Just claim it. Do a note now with the room allocations - couple 1 in this room, couple 2 in that room, man 1/man 2 please agree between you who will have room 3 /room 4.

No need to overcomplicate.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:25

@MadeOfAllWork this is what I am thinking - I feel like they should offer it to us. I would never insist and cause a drama and would always concede and just moan about it privately to DH. I’m just wondering if it’s reasonable to expect to be offered it

OP posts:
Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:26

@Cmonluv we paid per person but it’s awkward because one of those people isn’t coming anymore (they were in the split up couple). I left them to sort out their own finances.

OP posts:
MadamVastra · 31/12/2023 09:26

If everyone paid the same play a drinking card game for the best room!

Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 09:26

Do you want it, or do you want it to be offered?

Just have it for yourself, you've done the organisation, it's only 3 nights, you'll be grumpy for the whole trip if they don't offer it to you.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:26

@MadamVastra perhaps that is the way!

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 31/12/2023 09:27

Seems sensible to me given you've done all the work. I'd definitely want it sorted before arriving so everyone knew where they were putting bags etc and there was no awkward conversation.

Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 09:27

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:26

@Cmonluv we paid per person but it’s awkward because one of those people isn’t coming anymore (they were in the split up couple). I left them to sort out their own finances.

Ok so unless he's now paying the same as the other single guy he gets the twin room

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:27

@Whataretheodds i want it AND I want to be offered it i guess

OP posts:
Haydenn · 31/12/2023 09:28

you should wait for them to offer rather than claim it. Whilst you did the admin, if you just claim the nice room I would see it as you only bothered to find a place with one en suite as you took a bit of a “I’m alright Jack” approach and put less care into the other rooms.

Catsknowbest · 31/12/2023 09:28

MadamVastra · 31/12/2023 09:26

If everyone paid the same play a drinking card game for the best room!

Perfect answer 😊 and keeps it fun

Coconutter24 · 31/12/2023 09:28

If everyone has paid the same amount then the flip of a coin should involve everyone not just the couples. Do you just want the en suite is that why you’re suggesting just the couples? The only fair way is everyone is included in coin flip

Bettyscakes · 31/12/2023 09:28

I’ve planned a similar trip the last 2 years and wouldn’t expect the best room for organising! No one made you!!

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:28

@Cmonluv @Whataretheodds we haven’t changed the payment structure - I don’t know if he has paid her back or not

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 31/12/2023 09:29

I would flip a coin for the en suite and also for the 2 singles who gets the twin room as I expect the single is going to be a tiny room. We’ve always given the best en-suite room to the oldest in our group, presuming they need the wc in the night.

Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 09:29

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:27

@Whataretheodds i want it AND I want to be offered it i guess

Get over it. Save yourself and your husband the moaning in case it doesn't play out. Send a message to the group now with the room plan.

Don't set a test for your friends.

DarkForces · 31/12/2023 09:29

No one's going to offer it to you. If you want it you'll have to claim it and hope no one objects, although I think I'd feel a bit pissed off to be paying the same for a room without en suite

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:29

@Coconutter24 well it would be crazy for the single people to have the double en suite when one of the other options is a single room!

OP posts:
Muchof · 31/12/2023 09:29

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:27

@Whataretheodds i want it AND I want to be offered it i guess

It would be nice to be offered it, but I don’t think you should expect it or demand it. If you are not offered, I guess you will have to say let’s toss a coin and hope that prompts the offer, if it doesn’t, well then it is down to the coin.

Missgemini · 31/12/2023 09:29

I think it should be a first come, first served situation, with the singles hopefully choosing single rooms. I've been to a lot of these things, and the organiser never gets priority. These are your friends, not strangers. Maybe play a game or something. You don't want there to be any bad blood.
So, to answer your question, YABU to expect the ensuite. But you wouldn't be unreasonable to get there very early and claim it.

PamelaParis · 31/12/2023 09:30

Surely whichever couple arrives first takes the en-suite room? I wouldn't expect to be offered it just because I'd made the booking.