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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to think we should get the best room?

236 replies

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:21

Haven’t raised this and highly possibly I won’t as I don’t like confrontation especially not with friends at the expense of a good time but canvassing to see if my expectations are reasonable or not.

Going away for new years for two nights with a group of friends. Was originally supposed to be 3 couples and one single man but one of the couples has split up so it is now 2 couples and 2 single men.

Rooms available are:
1x single
1x twin
1x double
1x double with en suite

all in a lodge type thing.

I found the accommodation (which was not easy as there were various requirements that needed to be met), paid for it on my credit card (everyone has paid me back), have organised an activity for this evening for everyone and generally corralled everyone together to facilitate the trip.

AIBU to think the en suite room should be offered up to me and my DH? It is it fairer to flip a coin between the two couples?

OP posts:
SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 10:41

Deathbyfluffy · 31/12/2023 10:39

When I’ve organised this kind of thing, I’ve checked floor plans etc to make sure I know exactly what kind of rooms are available.

I’ve then split the cost by room type, so the en suite is a bit more expensive, standard double room a bit less, single room the cheapest etc

What happens if all the couples say "ill pay the 100 for the non en suite rather than the 140 for the en suite"? Won't work.

NewYearNameChanger · 31/12/2023 10:42

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:25

@MadeOfAllWork this is what I am thinking - I feel like they should offer it to us. I would never insist and cause a drama and would always concede and just moan about it privately to DH. I’m just wondering if it’s reasonable to expect to be offered it

Don't passively wait for someone to offer it to you - if you don't claim it, then the other couple will assume you are not bothered about the en-suite, and think it's up for grabs!

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 31/12/2023 10:50

When I’ve gone away with bil and sil, it’s always the family who’s done tge booking that gets first dibs on best room. But we took it in turns.

Grimpo · 31/12/2023 10:51

It would be nice if the other couple gave you the en suite, but bear in mind that they might have reasons of their own for needing easy access to a bathroom.

Fullofxmascbeer · 31/12/2023 10:52

Id use humour.
with a big smile and a jokey voice “we’ll have the en-suite for all the effort I had to put in finding this place meeting all the requirements”

DailyEnergyCrisis · 31/12/2023 10:54

I don’t think organising the trip naturally equals having the “best” room. In my group of friends we’d flip or coin or offer it to the most appropriate couple (if someone was pregnant or unwell for example). We’re possibly more the type to offer it to each other rather than wanting to claim it ourselves.

LuluBlakey1 · 31/12/2023 10:55

What does 'everyone has paid the same' mean? It has been divided between the number of rooms- 4 bedrooms so split 4 ways, or it has been divided between the number of people?

If it has been divided between the number of rooms, the two single people have every right to be included in the 'lucky dip' for the double with the ensuite.

If it has been divided by the number of people, the one who just paid for himself should have the single room but the other (who has actually paid for 2 people but he and his partner split) still has the right to be included in the 'lucky dip' as they paid for 2 places ie a double room- they are no different to the two couples.

Icelandic9 · 31/12/2023 10:56

SkySecret · 31/12/2023 10:07

utterly crazy to put a single person in the double en suite imo!

Why though? Everyone would still have a bed, the single guy is a human just like you and would enjoy creature comforts, just like you.

Basically you’re exercising couple’s privilege, and think the single people must automatically have the worst rooms just because they’re single. Why do you and the other couple deserve better rooms than them?

Initially I was thinking YNBU given the extra work you’ve put in, but now I’ve changed my mind… either everyone is entitled to a good room, or no one is.

What if the single room has a single bed?

LuluBlakey1 · 31/12/2023 10:56

Fullofxmascbeer · 31/12/2023 10:52

Id use humour.
with a big smile and a jokey voice “we’ll have the en-suite for all the effort I had to put in finding this place meeting all the requirements”

And irritate everyone else who would secretly loathe you.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 10:58

@LuluBlakey1 it was split per person. The person who is recently single has very likely not paid for two rooms - I actually suspect his ex paid for them both!

OP posts:
LucyMay33 · 31/12/2023 10:58

If you arranged the accommodation, you get the best room. That’s how it is with my friends and I and it’s always worked out fine.

gindreams · 31/12/2023 11:01

@SaltyGod how is it "grabby"

Hermanfromguesswho · 31/12/2023 11:03

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 10:58

@LuluBlakey1 it was split per person. The person who is recently single has very likely not paid for two rooms - I actually suspect his ex paid for them both!

This I don’t understand. He has paid for two people. Just because the money was paid by his ex doesn’t mean he hasn’t paid for two.
if your mum paid for you as a gift and DH paid his own contribution then does that mean only DH gets considered for a decent room because he paid himself?
your friend has paid for two people!

LuluBlakey1 · 31/12/2023 11:04

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 10:58

@LuluBlakey1 it was split per person. The person who is recently single has very likely not paid for two rooms - I actually suspect his ex paid for them both!

Doesn't matter- the money is paid for the purposes of the break and was paid for 2 people. He should gave the ensuite room really.

RosesAndHellebores · 31/12/2023 11:04

If having an en-suite is so important to you, you should have ensured both doubles had an en-suite. Alternatively, perhaps the days of four parties mucking in in a cottage/Lodge are behind you.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 11:04

@Hermanfromguesswho no I mean I don’t think he has paid her back for either of their places!

OP posts:
BustyLaRoux · 31/12/2023 11:05

I would feel the same as you but I think I would bite the bullet and just send a message to the group saying “I’d like the en suite room if possible. Is that OK with everyone?” If anyone protests then I’d say I thought as I’d found the property and sorted the activity etc that it would be OK. If I were one of the “friends” I would be expecting you to have that room anyway and if I hadn’t thought about room selection then your message would at least stop me from walking into the house and picking the best room for myself without thinking (and then there would be bad feeling as you’d not want to have to ask them to vacate it and would feel pissed off the whole time!).

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 11:06

@RosesAndHellebores it is not that important to me. I was simply wondering while I had my coffee and waiting to leave what would be fairest. I said right in my OP that I wasn’t that bothered

OP posts:
caringcarer · 31/12/2023 11:06

I think it's unreasonable for you to think you will get the best room as others have paid equal. I'd put single who paid single in single room, single who paid double in twin room and toss a coin with other couple for en suite room. I think that's fairer. As originally there were 3 couples yet you booked a house with only 2 double beds.....

BrimfulOfMash · 31/12/2023 11:07

Toss a coin, relax and enjoy, don’t give it anymore thought, not even to moan to your DH. You’re just dragging your own energy down.

The en suite was unexpected anyway, if the other couple offer it to you treat that as an unexpected bonus.

BrimfulOfMash · 31/12/2023 11:11

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 11:06

@RosesAndHellebores it is not that important to me. I was simply wondering while I had my coffee and waiting to leave what would be fairest. I said right in my OP that I wasn’t that bothered

But you are.
You have ‘expectations’. You use the word ‘should’ a lot. You have listed the work you put in that fuels this ‘should’, You said you would moan to your DH if these expectations and ‘shoulds’ are not met.

YearofDNGAF · 31/12/2023 11:13

I think the single person who paid for one person should get the single room as they essentially paid a single room rate. But between the 3 remaining rooms I don't think it's a given that the single person should get the twin (although he might take it to be nice) because he has paid for a double room just the same as you and the other couple.

Didimum · 31/12/2023 11:17

Would be lovely to have the en-suite, but coin flip unfortunately.

snazzychair · 31/12/2023 11:17

I like some of the responses to this thread.

OP - this is me too and always the organiser. Always thinking of others needs, doing the research and it takes time. I have started claiming the room that my DH and I want when we go away with friends and family.

Just tell the others that you're having the en suite and I'm sure no one will care especially if it means more.

No one is going to offer this to you, so just take what you want and don't over think. (Alternatively get there first and plonk your bags in that room!)
Have a great time!

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2023 11:18

RosesAndHellebores · 31/12/2023 11:04

If having an en-suite is so important to you, you should have ensured both doubles had an en-suite. Alternatively, perhaps the days of four parties mucking in in a cottage/Lodge are behind you.

This. I can’t imagine caring so much about having an ensuite but if you do, book somewhere with more than one. Does the other couple even give a shit? We wouldn’t.

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