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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to think we should get the best room?

236 replies

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:21

Haven’t raised this and highly possibly I won’t as I don’t like confrontation especially not with friends at the expense of a good time but canvassing to see if my expectations are reasonable or not.

Going away for new years for two nights with a group of friends. Was originally supposed to be 3 couples and one single man but one of the couples has split up so it is now 2 couples and 2 single men.

Rooms available are:
1x single
1x twin
1x double
1x double with en suite

all in a lodge type thing.

I found the accommodation (which was not easy as there were various requirements that needed to be met), paid for it on my credit card (everyone has paid me back), have organised an activity for this evening for everyone and generally corralled everyone together to facilitate the trip.

AIBU to think the en suite room should be offered up to me and my DH? It is it fairer to flip a coin between the two couples?

OP posts:
Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 14:26

@Teder I’m absolutely not going to send a message or insist!

OP posts:
Pigsinpainauchocolat · 31/12/2023 14:32

SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 09:34

The one who was always going as a single person gets the single room. The newly single person gets the twin. So really that only leaves the Double and the Double ES to battle out between you and the other couple.

Tbh I hate en suites so I'd have no desire to claim that room, but it's best if you just message the group

"So we all know where to go on arrival, Tom you are in the single, Tim you are in the twin, Betty and Jim - there's two doubles one of them has en suite, are we hustling to see who can get the en suite first or are you OK us taking it?"

This ^ very fair and reasonable message to send

Teder · 31/12/2023 14:42

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 14:26

@Teder I’m absolutely not going to send a message or insist!

No no, I am aware you didn’t. I was commenting on the other posters who said you should!

Hope you have a good time away. 🙂

wronginalltherightways · 31/12/2023 14:50

Why not just say you want the room with the ensuite, after all you sorted out all the hunting/organising/logistics for the place, and put it on your credit card, and will bring X amount of alcohol/treats for everyone as a thank you?

Allfur · 31/12/2023 15:07

You deserve it, its hard work organising these things

Ohnotyoutoo · 31/12/2023 15:09

You've organised it so you should get the best room!

IAmAnIdiot123 · 31/12/2023 15:17

They might offer it yet, this stuff doesn't get organised until everyone arrives does it?

MumblesParty · 31/12/2023 15:43

Allfur · 31/12/2023 15:07

You deserve it, its hard work organising these things

Exactly.
As I said before, anyone who says otherwise has clearly never been the organiser.

Goodlard · 31/12/2023 16:03

Mirabai · 31/12/2023 10:27

If an en suite bathroom was that important to you - you could have booked a property with all en suite bathrooms.

It’s super ungracious and gauche as a host to try and bag what you see as the best room, you should offer it to the other couples.

Have you considered that budgets might not have stretched to a four en suite accommodation? Especially as the OP had said budget was a factor. Or maybe as the organiser she should've somehow found one and managed to negotiate huge discount?

OP take the en-suite. You deserve it. Because I can assure you if there is a problem and a return if some money is required, you'll be having to deal with it

Mirabai · 31/12/2023 16:10

Goodlard · 31/12/2023 16:03

Have you considered that budgets might not have stretched to a four en suite accommodation? Especially as the OP had said budget was a factor. Or maybe as the organiser she should've somehow found one and managed to negotiate huge discount?

OP take the en-suite. You deserve it. Because I can assure you if there is a problem and a return if some money is required, you'll be having to deal with it

Show quote history

It’s fine if they can’t afford it, but don’t go grabbing the best deal for yourself as it’s bad manners.

If finances are an issue I’d suggest the couple who get the double with the bathroom pay more than the other doubles, and the guy in the single room pays the least. A hotel wouldn’t charge the same rates.

Bloom15 · 31/12/2023 16:12

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:25

@MadeOfAllWork this is what I am thinking - I feel like they should offer it to us. I would never insist and cause a drama and would always concede and just moan about it privately to DH. I’m just wondering if it’s reasonable to expect to be offered it

It was me I would offer it to you given you have sourced it apart from anything else.

Take it!

BustyLaRoux · 31/12/2023 16:24

GrandHighPoohbah 🤣 very good!

Goodlard · 31/12/2023 16:40

@Mirabai maybe it's not the OP that single handed decided the budget, but she done all the work and time is money, so she gets the en-suite!

Goodlard · 31/12/2023 16:42

@Mirabai the guy in the single dud pay the least...... read the bloody posts!

He paid for one person, the others paid for two! That means he paid half! And hotels do not charge half for single rooms, you pay a single room supplement, so maybe OP should charge him that?

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 18:26

Hello.

So we are here and it all turned out to be moot. The en suite is actually a jack and jill with access from the main area.

Single chaps sorted themselves into twin and single without discussion.

OP posts:
Mirabai · 31/12/2023 18:35

Goodlard · 31/12/2023 16:42

@Mirabai the guy in the single dud pay the least...... read the bloody posts!

He paid for one person, the others paid for two! That means he paid half! And hotels do not charge half for single rooms, you pay a single room supplement, so maybe OP should charge him that?

Each individual person paid the same amount. The single guy didn’t pay half he simply isn’t in a couple!

I said nothing about hotels charging half for a single room. Rooms are generally prices on size and luxury. Some hotels charge less for a single room and some charge more based on the idea that a a single person will spend less on meals and they need to cover their costs. That’s not the issue here.

Mirabai · 31/12/2023 18:36

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 18:26

Hello.

So we are here and it all turned out to be moot. The en suite is actually a jack and jill with access from the main area.

Single chaps sorted themselves into twin and single without discussion.

Xpost - glad all’s well that ends well.

Merryoldgoat · 31/12/2023 18:40

I know this is a bit different but I organised a house for a wedding that slept 10 (big friendship group.

I found it, filled it and saved everyone a LOT of money - £100 a couple for three nights vs £600 if they stayed at the wedding hotel.

When I did it I said ‘I’m getting the first choice as I’ve done all the organising’ and no one minded at all.

FoodieToo · 31/12/2023 18:44

I organise all trips away for my pals as I love doing it and I am excellent at it !!!

They always insist I take the best room/ bed etc .

I really don't expect that but it's so nice of them. They should offer it to you , definitely .

Reidie · 01/01/2024 18:03

I guess if the cost is split equally flip a coin or if you wanted the en suite then contribute a little extra 🤷‍♀️

Goodlard · 01/01/2024 18:09

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 18:26

Hello.

So we are here and it all turned out to be moot. The en suite is actually a jack and jill with access from the main area.

Single chaps sorted themselves into twin and single without discussion.

That's great! Have fun!

OldPerson · 01/01/2024 18:25

Transparency. You're not experienced at this. You should have laid all this out at the beginning. Or limited their expectations. Inbetween all their break-ups. If you want gratitude - lay it out at the beginning - whether they pay for you and partner when you go out for a meal or something else. But you've now organised a vacation where all is not equal. I'd expect an en-suite bathroom as a minimum basic - and so would you, or you would not be so keen to bag it. Just where do the people go to pee at night, if they don't have an ensuite???

LalaPaloosa · 01/01/2024 18:29

I hate these arrangements. I booked a lovely apartment in Prague with 3 double rooms. It was me and boyfriend in one, and a single girlfriend in each of the other rooms. I assumed we would split it per room. As we left the 2 girls insisted we split it 4 ways, which left me and my boyfriend paying half the cost of accommodation for the weekend. I had done all the organising and bookings for accommodation, dinner etc. Never again. I think everyone is right - set it all straight ahead of time so there are no misunderstandings.

Pigsinpainauchocolat · 01/01/2024 19:22

PuffyShirt · 31/12/2023 12:09

I would never pick nor expect the best room.

If you organised it, you’re effectively the host so should offer it to another couple imo.

That's taking people pleasing a bit far Confused why not just have doormat stamped on your back while you're at it.

BIossomtoes · 01/01/2024 19:27

Just where do the people go to pee at night, if they don't have an ensuite???

In the shared bathroom. Like those of us who don’t have or want an ensuite do.