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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to think we should get the best room?

236 replies

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:21

Haven’t raised this and highly possibly I won’t as I don’t like confrontation especially not with friends at the expense of a good time but canvassing to see if my expectations are reasonable or not.

Going away for new years for two nights with a group of friends. Was originally supposed to be 3 couples and one single man but one of the couples has split up so it is now 2 couples and 2 single men.

Rooms available are:
1x single
1x twin
1x double
1x double with en suite

all in a lodge type thing.

I found the accommodation (which was not easy as there were various requirements that needed to be met), paid for it on my credit card (everyone has paid me back), have organised an activity for this evening for everyone and generally corralled everyone together to facilitate the trip.

AIBU to think the en suite room should be offered up to me and my DH? It is it fairer to flip a coin between the two couples?

OP posts:
CheekyLittleElf · 31/12/2023 10:17

Just get there first

backinthebox · 31/12/2023 10:17

Couples in doubles and toss a coin for the rooms. Bathrooms accessible to all (each person has paid for an equal portion of the accommodation, not just bed space but a share of all the other facilities too, including bathroom.) If this is inconvenient to couple in room with en suite, they could always offer to swap with couple in the other double room.

Split this way I’ve found there is always much less of an unseemly scramble for the en suite room, and fairer to those who would otherwise have to queue longer for a bathroom.

Isitreallythough · 31/12/2023 10:17

It would be nice if someone thought to suggest it and I think I would suggest it if I was in the group, especially if I was part of the other couple. But it’s not clearly obvious and not the only way for others to express appreciation of your effort so I wouldn’t make a problem of it…

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 10:17

@Namemchangeforthispostonly101 I’m not getting upset about it! I was just wondering if it was a reasonable expectation. Clearly views are mixed!

OP posts:
Kittenkitty · 31/12/2023 10:17

Are you all heterosexual couples? I would cope with it but I wouldn’t be thrilled about being the only woman having to share the bathroom with men, especially because I go to the toilet a lot. 😂

Does anyone have health issues that would indicate an en suite is preferable? Pregnancy, IBS?

ClairDeLaLune · 31/12/2023 10:18

Haven’t RTFT so has probably been suggested already - get there first and bagsy it.

But I can’t imagine not having a situation with any of my friends where: (a) they would immediately offer to me, or (b) I would say as the organiser I’m having it and no-one would care.

Nevermindtheteacaps · 31/12/2023 10:18

In all my friendship groups the organizers get the best room and we always offer it up!

DeeLusional · 31/12/2023 10:19

Don't ask - tell them. You organised everything, organise this.

2024i · 31/12/2023 10:19

Nevermindtheteacaps · 31/12/2023 10:18

In all my friendship groups the organizers get the best room and we always offer it up!

But you’ve presumably set that precedent by having a conversation about it, OP hasn’t just yet and seems to be unsure how this will
play out.

Whatineed · 31/12/2023 10:20

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:21

Haven’t raised this and highly possibly I won’t as I don’t like confrontation especially not with friends at the expense of a good time but canvassing to see if my expectations are reasonable or not.

Going away for new years for two nights with a group of friends. Was originally supposed to be 3 couples and one single man but one of the couples has split up so it is now 2 couples and 2 single men.

Rooms available are:
1x single
1x twin
1x double
1x double with en suite

all in a lodge type thing.

I found the accommodation (which was not easy as there were various requirements that needed to be met), paid for it on my credit card (everyone has paid me back), have organised an activity for this evening for everyone and generally corralled everyone together to facilitate the trip.

AIBU to think the en suite room should be offered up to me and my DH? It is it fairer to flip a coin between the two couples?

Tell the other guests you've got extremely smelly stools and therefore it's better for everyone that you take the ensuite.

HarrietStyles · 31/12/2023 10:21

If you didn’t even realise there was an en suite until a few days ago, I don’t understand why you are so hung up on it, enough to make a post about it. I personally don’t understand why it’s such a big deal 🤷🏼‍♀️ Just be excited about your lovely new years trip with your friends. Don’t let something so trivial ruin the build up and enjoyment of a lovely event.

Whaleandsnail6 · 31/12/2023 10:23

Did you want to be the one who booked and arranged it or did others offer?
I have been away with friends and family where one person is keen to do the organisation and dismisses others offers to be involved in the planning. If thats the case, I think rock paper scissors for the on suite.

If it was a case of if you hadnt done the leg work, then the trip wouldn't happen as noone would take the responsibility,then I'd offer you the best room.

SaltyGod · 31/12/2023 10:23

When we organised we didn’t take the best room, we gave it to the couple that had travelled the furthest (in this case long haul)

Honestly, it’s 2 days and unless you have undisclosed bathroom issues just flip a coin.

I’d be embarrassed if my partner was as bothered as you are about it. It’s all a bit grabby and dull.

JingleSnowmanTree · 31/12/2023 10:26

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

@Namemchangeforthispostonly101

oh where did you see the floor plan??

assuming you didn't actually see it, you have no idea where the bathroom is.

i very much care where the nearest toilet is in the night. I have a situation at the moment where I'm up & down to the toilet all bloody night. I don't want to be traipsing to the family bathroom and back all night & definitely not if it's on a different floor (problem with knees & stairs on top of the fact I wouldn't make it. It's touch & go with my ensuite.

i wouldn't care about others using the shower or toilet in the day time.

id be happy to pay a premium for the ensuite room.

I dare say after one night people would be begging me to take the ensuite.

Mirabai · 31/12/2023 10:27

If an en suite bathroom was that important to you - you could have booked a property with all en suite bathrooms.

It’s super ungracious and gauche as a host to try and bag what you see as the best room, you should offer it to the other couples.

SaltyGod · 31/12/2023 10:28

@Mirabai

Gauche is the perfect word in this situation

DeeLusional · 31/12/2023 10:30

A lot of very unkind people on here.

TravelInHope · 31/12/2023 10:33

I would offer it to the other couple.
Thats what nice people do. If they are also nice they will insist that you have it n recognition of your organising.
If not, they owe you one for next time.
PS it’s only a bathroom.

SaltyGod · 31/12/2023 10:34

@JingleSnowmanTree

In your case there is a clear medical need. Of course you should get an ensuite assuming no one has greater need. Friends wouldn’t want you inconvenienced I’m sure.

We would always allocate on need and then flip coins if all else equal.

TLDRfuckers · 31/12/2023 10:34

I think YABU to expect it.

Plus you only knew about it a few days ago so why’s it such an issue now? You need to change your priorities and look forward to the holiday instead of getting worked up about who gets what room.

Rightsraptor · 31/12/2023 10:35

OP - just take the en suite room. Announce it that you two are having it. If anyone argues tell them you did all the work. They may argue, who knows, but it'd take some balls to do so, really.

How the couple who have split up sort their finances is up to them, so long as the amount agree at booking is covered by the 2 of them.

Deathbyfluffy · 31/12/2023 10:39

When I’ve organised this kind of thing, I’ve checked floor plans etc to make sure I know exactly what kind of rooms are available.

I’ve then split the cost by room type, so the en suite is a bit more expensive, standard double room a bit less, single room the cheapest etc

zingally · 31/12/2023 10:39

It's 3 nights of fun with (presumably!) people you like, and want to hang out with!

Don't let something silly put a downer on the time. Presumably the bedroom is literally for sleeping in? Why are you being so weird about sharing a bathroom with your friends?

It's 3 nights of your life. It's fine.

mewkins · 31/12/2023 10:39

Allinadayswork80 · 31/12/2023 09:43

In this scenario with my friends - the organiser would get the ES, however it’s made clear that this is pretty much used as a communal extra bathroom anyway (apart from during the night obvs). So people just use whichever one is free/preference. Maybe suggest that?

This is definitely a reason not to have the en suite 😆

Codlingmoths · 31/12/2023 10:41

I’d just take it, they don’t like it they organise the next one. Organisers are the unthanked backbone of staying in touch with friends