Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to think we should get the best room?

236 replies

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:21

Haven’t raised this and highly possibly I won’t as I don’t like confrontation especially not with friends at the expense of a good time but canvassing to see if my expectations are reasonable or not.

Going away for new years for two nights with a group of friends. Was originally supposed to be 3 couples and one single man but one of the couples has split up so it is now 2 couples and 2 single men.

Rooms available are:
1x single
1x twin
1x double
1x double with en suite

all in a lodge type thing.

I found the accommodation (which was not easy as there were various requirements that needed to be met), paid for it on my credit card (everyone has paid me back), have organised an activity for this evening for everyone and generally corralled everyone together to facilitate the trip.

AIBU to think the en suite room should be offered up to me and my DH? It is it fairer to flip a coin between the two couples?

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 31/12/2023 09:30

Coconutter24 · 31/12/2023 09:28

If everyone has paid the same amount then the flip of a coin should involve everyone not just the couples. Do you just want the en suite is that why you’re suggesting just the couples? The only fair way is everyone is included in coin flip

How would that work if one of the couples ended up with the single room??

bookfit24 · 31/12/2023 09:30

Did all the rooms cost the same though (assume the single was paid for by the single guy and is therefore out of the equation).

Bettyscakes · 31/12/2023 09:30

Plus if there was a lot of difficulty in organising due to requirements how did you not know there was an en-suite.

The single man who paid for 2 should have equal rights to the en-suite.
I’d toss a coin.

Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 09:30

Coconutter24 · 31/12/2023 09:28

If everyone has paid the same amount then the flip of a coin should involve everyone not just the couples. Do you just want the en suite is that why you’re suggesting just the couples? The only fair way is everyone is included in coin flip

Presumably everyone else had the opportunity to okay the accommodation or confirmed without seeing the room plan.

NoSquirrels · 31/12/2023 09:31

Who are you expecting to offer? The other couple?

If you’ve done all the organising I suspect it’s only you thinking about this in advance. Everyone else will just choose when they arrive. Whoever arrives first out of you and the other couple will choose the en-suite.

If you don’t want that to happen, carry on being organiser and send a text allocating rooms. Be explicit that you’ve given yourself the en-suite as ‘organiser’s perk’. No one will complain.

DoThePropeller · 31/12/2023 09:31

I would do a jokey, my commission as travel agent and organiser is that we get the en-suite! I can’t imagine anyone would think unfair.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:31

@Whataretheodds yes they did.

@Bettyscakes I don’t think he HAS paid for two tbh. I left them to sort it out themselves

OP posts:
bookfit24 · 31/12/2023 09:32

Oh I’ve just realised it’s a house type thing (ignore my post).

I’ve been in simialr situation and the person organising allocated the rooms

Zanatdy · 31/12/2023 09:32

Yes, I’d always suggest the person who went to the effort to arrange it should get the best room.

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 31/12/2023 09:32

We have a family holiday every year. Organised mostly by me and dh so we always get the first choice of room. Sometimes the en suite. One year we chose a basic room way from the dc!! Never been an issue... Perks of the mental torture of the planning ime.

Coconutter24 · 31/12/2023 09:32

YourNameGoesHere · 31/12/2023 09:30

How would that work if one of the couples ended up with the single room??

Show quote history

There is only one single room and 2 single people so if by chance a single did get the en-suite the other single person would get the single room, 1 couple in a double and 1 couple in a twin

Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 09:33

I have offered the one en suite room to the person who organised the trip, it's quite a little thing. But I don't think OP should wait to be offered as she'll moan if she doesn't get offered it.

Agree that arriving first is the best way to make sure it's all done and you can get on with your fun.

arethereanyleftatall · 31/12/2023 09:33

I think there should be a perk for being the organiser - so you should get the one you want.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:33

@Coconutter24 utterly crazy to put a single person in the double en suite imo!

OP posts:
2024i · 31/12/2023 09:33

What would you have done if all 3 couples went? Would have been a shit set up for the ones landing the twin room, and as if there’s a disparity in money/room if you are chipped in the same.

do the other couple know there’s an en suite?

best thing is to get there first and get set up first

Terrrence · 31/12/2023 09:34

So the 3rd couple that is now a single paid for 2 people, the same as you? They should get their choice of twin or single.

I would give the other couple the room with the en suite as I picked the accommodation. It's a bit like when you cut the cake you should offer everyone else a slice and take the last one as it is your fault if one piece is smaller. I would find it hard to say I booked accommodation that only has en suite facilities for me. Having said that I would not mind if somebody else booked the accommodation and took the en suite. I basically would not be trying to take it in either situation.

Bettyscakes · 31/12/2023 09:34

He has though even if he got a refund from his ex, his contribution is the same as the 2 other couples.

SecondUsername4me · 31/12/2023 09:34

The one who was always going as a single person gets the single room. The newly single person gets the twin. So really that only leaves the Double and the Double ES to battle out between you and the other couple.

Tbh I hate en suites so I'd have no desire to claim that room, but it's best if you just message the group

"So we all know where to go on arrival, Tom you are in the single, Tim you are in the twin, Betty and Jim - there's two doubles one of them has en suite, are we hustling to see who can get the en suite first or are you OK us taking it?"

DRS1970 · 31/12/2023 09:35

I would expect your friends, being good friends, would let you have the en suite for your efforts in organising everything.

Onelifeonly · 31/12/2023 09:35

Just make the decision yourself as no one else will. Everyone will feel awkward about choosing the best room for themselves (well, if they are like me, they would). Possibly you'll find the ensuite isn't as good as the main bathroom for some reason anyway or the mattress in that room is lumpy or whatever. It is only two nights - no one should be that bothered.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:35

@2024i i sent everyone a link to the accommodation and asked if they were okay with it so in theory they know as much as I do! Tbh I didn’t really process there was an en-suite until two days ago when I looked again, such was the relief of finding somewhere that met all other requirements.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 31/12/2023 09:35

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:33

@Coconutter24 utterly crazy to put a single person in the double en suite imo!

But if you’re doing it fairly and based on what everyone has paid they are just as entitled as you are. Yes it would be nice if the single people said they’d take the single and twin room but if they wanted to be included in the coin flip then why shouldn’t they be if they’ve paid the same as you?

Glockwein · 31/12/2023 09:36

I think it's just ticking away in your brain a lot more than it is in anyone else's. Others may well not offer just because thinking about who will get which bedroom on the upcoming holiday just doesn't make it onto their mental list. Don't expect anyone else to be giving this headspace, and don't waste any of your precious time worrying about it. Whethwr someone else thinks and offers or not is (a) out of your hands and (b) likely not a reflection of how much they like you/are looking forward to the holiday etc.

JingleSnowmanTree · 31/12/2023 09:36

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:26

@Cmonluv we paid per person but it’s awkward because one of those people isn’t coming anymore (they were in the split up couple). I left them to sort out their own finances.

So one of the (now) single blokes is paying double? So you're no longer paying equal shares? At the very very least he gets to choose between the single & the twin.

you did all the work, you get the ensuite.

just send a message along the lines of. ' John you can choose between bdrm 3 (twin) & (4) single with mark taking the other one. Jennifer & Charlie, you're in the double on the right at the top of the stairs & Bob and I are in the attic room. Looking forward to seeing you all x

describe the location of the ensuite room rather than the fact it's the ensuite room!!

or just be sure to get there first!!

you definitely deserve the ensuite room.

Allinadayswork80 · 31/12/2023 09:36

My feeling is that the person who has gone to the most trouble to organise it all should be allocated the best room. I’d be pretty put out otherwise. Daft to expect the singles to be in anything other than the single/twin rooms and the other couple should be gracious and offer it to you. But that would be the dynamic of MY friendship group - I can’t speak for yours.