Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to think we should get the best room?

236 replies

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:21

Haven’t raised this and highly possibly I won’t as I don’t like confrontation especially not with friends at the expense of a good time but canvassing to see if my expectations are reasonable or not.

Going away for new years for two nights with a group of friends. Was originally supposed to be 3 couples and one single man but one of the couples has split up so it is now 2 couples and 2 single men.

Rooms available are:
1x single
1x twin
1x double
1x double with en suite

all in a lodge type thing.

I found the accommodation (which was not easy as there were various requirements that needed to be met), paid for it on my credit card (everyone has paid me back), have organised an activity for this evening for everyone and generally corralled everyone together to facilitate the trip.

AIBU to think the en suite room should be offered up to me and my DH? It is it fairer to flip a coin between the two couples?

OP posts:
Savedpassword · 31/12/2023 09:56

How many other bathrooms are there?

Regardless if I was single or in a couple, I think it’s unfair for 4 people to potentially have to wait for showers each morning. If you DO get the en suite and there in only 1 other bathroom/shower I’d offer to let at least one of the single guys have a shower slot each morning.

DitheringBlidiot · 31/12/2023 09:57

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:39

@DitheringBlidiot because it is a DOUBLE room

Ok? But the twin room also holds 2 people and was apparently perfectly fine for a couple to use before they split. So why can it suddenly only be used by one person?
Nothing bad will happen to you if you need to sleep in a single bed.

FinallyHere · 31/12/2023 10:01

everyone has paid the same - didn’t realise the en suite situation until yesterday

When going away with a group, I am equally happy to organise or fall in with whatever someone else organises. However...

Whoever organises, I would seriously expect them to anticipate and have an upfront plan for exactly this sort of thing. Since I think nothing of organising, I wouldn't give you much credit for doing so and only now coming to realise that there is this inequity around the ensuite situation.

I'd not think well of someone who has stepped forward to do the organising, not anticipated this inequity and then just expected to have the best room for themselves. At this point, I'd seriously want the point to be raised in advance and I'd expect you to at least establish who else might want the room with ensuite and offer an element of chance if others want it too.

And be a tad better prepared in future. Hope you find a way forward

DitheringBlidiot · 31/12/2023 10:02

Are you expecting sole use for yourself while 4 other people queue for showers?

Soozikinzii · 31/12/2023 10:03

Just claim it since you did the organisation. I am the organiser in our group so I do know what it's like trying to sort stuff to fit in with everyone. And feeling responsible if anything goes wrong . You deserve it !

ThreeTreeHill · 31/12/2023 10:04

Sometimes I wonder how some people get by in life when I read these threads

Person who organised it gets pick of room, unless it's a hen do/birthday situation.

Other couple gets double, singles get twin and single. Im not going to fight with my friends over my right to a double bed if I'm putting a couple in twins (unless they want it). That's madness.

KitchenSinkLlama · 31/12/2023 10:07

Ejismyf · 31/12/2023 09:51

Personally I wouldn't care for the sake of two days. I'd just be looking forward to two nights away with my friends and wouldn't be letting whether I go an ensuite overshadow it. If there's only one bathroom and one en suite surely youl need to let others use it anyway. Four people can't be expected to use the one bathroom whilst two have the sole use of one for showers etc. Wer just back a family holiday and the en suite shower wasn't ever warm anyway so all used the main shower.

My thoughts exactly. I'd be looking forward to a fun break with dear friends not going on about a bloody en suite. Unless the OP or her OH has a medical condition that requires regular and challenging bathroom time, who cares about the ensuite?

SkySecret · 31/12/2023 10:07

utterly crazy to put a single person in the double en suite imo!

Why though? Everyone would still have a bed, the single guy is a human just like you and would enjoy creature comforts, just like you.

Basically you’re exercising couple’s privilege, and think the single people must automatically have the worst rooms just because they’re single. Why do you and the other couple deserve better rooms than them?

Initially I was thinking YNBU given the extra work you’ve put in, but now I’ve changed my mind… either everyone is entitled to a good room, or no one is.

Dibbydoos · 31/12/2023 10:07

You could flip a coin with the other couple for the ensuite, but honestly you arranged it so just put your stuff in the ensuite room.

Coconutter24 · 31/12/2023 10:07

JingleSnowmanTree · 31/12/2023 09:52

@Coconutter24 that would be daft, the couples could end up in the single/twin.

The half the couple should choose between the single/twin & the original single has the other. The couples have 2 paying people in each room so they get the double rooms as they're sharing.

Show quote history

But the twin room was perfectly ok for a couple to use before 1 couple split up.

All this fuss over a room, OP just needs to send a message out does anyone have a preference over the room they get? See what the answers are and go from there

quisensoucie · 31/12/2023 10:08

@TwoCoffeesPlease Brilliant for organising the getaway! Your friends should be very appreciative that you've done all the leg work.
In theory, in an ideal world, you would bag the en-suite just because you've done the work. However...
feel like they should offer it to us. I would never insist and cause a drama and would always concede and just moan about it privately to DH. I’m just wondering if it’s reasonable to expect to be offered it
You are expecting them to offer and you will moan if they don't; you won't cause a drama with the friends - just upset your hubby and no doubt, come back here with an update. Why not just tell them you are having the room as a reward for organising. Or let your husband tell everyone
You will be sadly disappointed in life if you expect rewards for good deeds. Assume no-one will offer you the room
Assume this throughout life

Ramalangadingdong · 31/12/2023 10:08

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:26

@MadamVastra perhaps that is the way!

It is the way. They are never going to offer you that room. That's the way people are. You're not like that. I'm not like that, but every other bastard is like that.

Original poster
TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 10:09

By the way I get the points about the twin room in the situation where there were three couples and in this situation I would have fallen on my sword and taken it.

It was really hard to find somewhere that was within budget, not too far away, didn’t allow pets (allergies) and where the bed for the original single chap wasn’t a race car or a pull out in the living room…there was a choice of 2 and this is what the committee chose

OP posts:
Blueblell · 31/12/2023 10:10

Get the first - bag it. They might not even know there is an en-suite if you booked it all 😂

ThreeTreeHill · 31/12/2023 10:10

SkySecret · 31/12/2023 10:07

utterly crazy to put a single person in the double en suite imo!

Why though? Everyone would still have a bed, the single guy is a human just like you and would enjoy creature comforts, just like you.

Basically you’re exercising couple’s privilege, and think the single people must automatically have the worst rooms just because they’re single. Why do you and the other couple deserve better rooms than them?

Initially I was thinking YNBU given the extra work you’ve put in, but now I’ve changed my mind… either everyone is entitled to a good room, or no one is.

Because a double as a couple is better than a twin because you want to share with your partner. Your only getting half a double bed each. A single person in a double is a lot better than sharing a double because you get a whole double.

Op is getting the en suite because she organised

369damnshesfine · 31/12/2023 10:10

The couples should obviously have the double bedrooms.

But it’s not fair that you deserve the en-suite more than the other couple.

I would message them all on the group chat and tell them what’s on offer like you have here and ask them the best way to decide to gets what.

Say that the couples will obviously get the double rooms but how did you want to decide who gets what.
Suggest the coin toss.

If the other couple isn’t bothered they may offer it up to you anyway, if they are then the coin toss will be the fairest way.

BarbaraWoodlouse1 · 31/12/2023 10:12

It’s up to you. I would always give things to my friends over myself.

JingleSnowmanTree · 31/12/2023 10:12

DitheringBlidiot · 31/12/2023 09:57

Ok? But the twin room also holds 2 people and was apparently perfectly fine for a couple to use before they split. So why can it suddenly only be used by one person?
Nothing bad will happen to you if you need to sleep in a single bed.

Show quote history

@DitheringBlidiot but it's unnecessary for either of the couples to have to sleep in separate single beds. They can offer if that's their preference.

as I said earlier though I'd have split the cost by room type, not person.

cansu · 31/12/2023 10:12

The single people flip a coin for the single and the twin or sort out between themselves if they care. The couples do the same for the ensuite. However you are overthinking it. Surely the house has a bathroom which will be literally steps away. Why is the ensuite so important?

Fannyannie · 31/12/2023 10:13

If everyone’s paid the same , you & the other couple should draw straws, it’s only fair.

Its not your house.

ThreeTreeHill · 31/12/2023 10:13

Plus assuming one other bathroom if you put a single person in the en suite thats 5 other people using the main bathroom, whilst a couple is 4. It also reduces load on the main bathroom making it better for everyone.

Hermanfromguesswho · 31/12/2023 10:15

I think there will definitely have been some element of trust in you here. You say you sent a link and asked everyone if they were ok with this place…they likely looked at location, photos and possibly didn’t go into details too much trusting that you would find something suitable/fair.
it may be a surprise to them to realise that one couple were expected to have single beds and that there is only one en suite. Definitely be clear about what you’ve booked and how you fairly planned to allocate the rooms and bathrooms. It would be horrible to turn up to find the organiser had booked something that only had one decent room and then claimed it as a perk for organising!
can you message and say ‘just checking you are all happy with the room allocations I’ve pencilled in…X (newly single friend) are you ok with twin room and Z (single friend) you with single room? There are two doubles for the two couples, one has an en suite but this can obviously be shared during the day for showers and as an extra bathroom as there’s only one main bathroom! Shall we flip a coin for the en suite room?’
tbh I’d rather not have the en suite as there will be other people traipsing in and out of your room during the day as needed! So I’d offfer it to the other couple first! 🤣

Namemchangeforthispostonly101 · 31/12/2023 10:15

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 31/12/2023 10:15

If the other couple vote for the en suite they can organise the next trip...

NeedToChangeName · 31/12/2023 10:17

I've organised loads of weekends away. I don't expect the best room

Swipe left for the next trending thread