Are all men mean when they’ve had a few too many drinks?

[JKDcot]

My Husband is a great man, kind, caring and sensible. But when he’s had too many drinks he just turns. He’s mean, arrogant, obnoxious and to be honest I don’t really like him when he’s been drinking. He doesn’t drink often - every few months, but when he’s passed a point, I just have no use to try and talk to him, reason, or try and have a nice evening.

Are they all like this?? My approach is just to realise when he’s starting to be a dick and then just write off the evening and do my own thing. By the morning he’s back to being nice. Any advice? Anyone else find this?

No they’re not. Both my brothers are exceptionally funny, witty and fun when pissed. I was the problem and was a complete bitch when drinking. I’m completely sober now.

No, mine didn't drink very often but I've had the Christmas party phone call of " do you know how much I love you? I really really luvs you'

I worked in town centre pubs & bars for several years when I was a student. In my experience, the number of people who turn into obnoxious arseholes when they are pissed is equally distributed between the sexes.

Of course they’re not.

But if they were, if other women were equally unhappy living with abusive drinkers, would that make your situation better?

I'm a happy fluffy kind of drunk until I fall asleep, a generally good example of having fun with booze. Some people just shouldn't drink

I don't say all men are but I've never met one who wasn't (including myself).

Nope! My husband thinks he is the funniest man alive after a few which is either entertaining or annoying depending on my own blood alcohol level 😂 He’s never ever obnoxious or mean!

No. Mine got giggly and handsy (and didn't believe I didn't want it, until I pointed out it was edging into sexual assault territory). Then he was weepy and pukey.

These days he giggles, then when he gets home he quietly throws up, eats a truly heroic quantity of kebab, then sleeps for a really long time. And farts.

He's never once been mean. Or got into a drunken fight, even as a teen. He's pulled a very, um, exuberant (crazy) friend out of a lot though.

No, DH is a mixture of soppy and jokey after a couple of drinks… but then he wouldn’t risk drinking if it made him mean.

No, they're definitely not all like that. Mine will be home in about an hour, no doubt trying to be quiet and giggling to himself as he tiptoes about.

Then he'll tell me about his night, tell me he loves me and be snoring inside 3 minutes.

There's a reason alcohol is known as a "twat amplifier"

Road to abuse.

Have you ever talked to him about this when he's sober OP? If so, I'd be interested to know what his reaction is, ie, is he immediately apologetic, and tells you not to let him get drunk to that level in the future, or is he defensive, ie I can't help how I am when I've had a few?

My DH is quite soppy when he's had a few, but both he and my ex are horrible after whisky, so he just doesn't touch it any more.

My husband is fucking adorable drunk (and sober).

No, I don’t know any men like this, my husband gets all soppy, the I love you stuff, and when out with mates, all the men, are funny, sociable etc.

No. OH is either funny, annoying (well playful /silly) or just sleepy. Oh and you can get him to agree to anything.

Been with mine for nearly 25 years and never seen him have a few too many.
Perhaps we are boring !

I am surprised at the responses, as I thought what OP was describing was quiet normal. DH is a completely different person when drunk. I think it's amplified by the fact I am an occasional drinker and never get "drunk".

This isn't how my DP or any former partners have behaved when tipsy, and I would find it quite disturbing.

No, not all men but I am. Utterly horrible. So I don't drink, ever.

No, not all men are like this. If I were with someone who was nasty when they drank, I would expect them not to drink. I’m quite sure if I turned into a dick and treated people I loved badly after I’d been drinking, I wouldn’t drink.

Exactly this. Some people are bad drunks but we all have a choice about whether we drink.

Nope, my DH is adorable tipsy (or sliaghtly annoying if I'm sober and trying to get to sleep!). My DB is lovely after a few drinks as are my friends other halves. The only men I've known to be twats when drunk tend to have some level of twat-ness when sober.

Not at all. Mine becomes garrulous and incoherent. Embarrassing but in no way mean.

No of course not