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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being told what to order from takeaway..

424 replies

Beanz2022 · 29/12/2023 22:11

friend invited me round for drinks and food, she said we could get indian takeaway..(context, her and her husband are veggies) she text me one hour before and said would it be OK if you didn't order a meat dish as we don't allow meat in the house.. so I ended up having a vegetable curry which, I really hated.. she had whatever she wanted and thoroughly enjoyed it.. why invite me round if you know I eat meat and won't allow me to order what I want.

OP posts:
Gymrabbit · 29/12/2023 22:12

She sounds like a twat. I hope she at least paid.

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/12/2023 22:12

Why did you hate it?

AlisonDonut · 29/12/2023 22:13

You really hated a vegetable curry? But would have loved a meat one? Which also contains vegetables?

Weird.

gamerchick · 29/12/2023 22:13

I would have said, you order I'll have something before I come and we can just have a drink.

Original poster
Beanz2022 · 29/12/2023 22:14

Because I have a chicken Curry or king prawn. I can't stand just vegetables in my curry. Not weird, normal preference tbh

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 29/12/2023 22:14

What was it about the curry that you didn't like? The base would have been the same so the main flavours and spices shouldn't have been that different.

purpleme12 · 29/12/2023 22:14

Oh that would really annoy me as well.
Shouldn't be saying what other people can and can't have

SquitMcJit · 29/12/2023 22:15

I’d say it’s fine for her to ask that as the host? She gave you advance warning. Most decent Indian takeaways have loads of veggie options.

Did you pay for your takeaway or did she?

StarlightLime · 29/12/2023 22:15

Beanz2022 · 29/12/2023 22:14

Because I have a chicken Curry or king prawn. I can't stand just vegetables in my curry. Not weird, normal preference tbh

There are vegetables in meat and fish curries too...

Brefugee · 29/12/2023 22:15

if i kept a vegetarian house too right no meat would be coming in. You could have said "no thanks" and left

Lwg87 · 29/12/2023 22:15

I’m with you. If vegetable curry was a treat surely we’d order it every time.

TyneTeas · 29/12/2023 22:15

If she had cooked for you it would have been vegetarian

I'm not vegetarian but it doesn't seem that unreasonable to not want meat in the house if you are

Brefugee · 29/12/2023 22:16

i eat meat but i always order dal makhani (sp?) and other vegetable dishes. I don't get all stroppy because i can't have prawns or chicken.

Original poster
Beanz2022 · 29/12/2023 22:16

I paid for mine! I just feel like if I'm going for a catch up with a friend and paying for a takeaway, I would like to get what I fancy and not just have a curry with brocolli, carrots, and onions..

OP posts:
SparkleyMud · 29/12/2023 22:17

Why didnt you answer honestly when she asked if you would mind?

JingleSnowmanTree · 29/12/2023 22:18

I'm vegetarian & I don't buy or cook meat, friends know this & accept that it's different than them making vegetarian food for me.

However, if we're having takeaway then they order what they want to eat & take any leftovers they want home.

however, their house, their rules. Did it really hurt you to go without meat for one meal? Do you eat meat every night for dinner??

there are loads of really nice vegetable/vegetarian curries. Maybe you just chose badly.

RampantIvy · 29/12/2023 22:18

You could have ordered a dahl or a paneer curry.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/12/2023 22:18

You had time to reply and say sorry, it's my belief that meat is in every meal I eat, so I'll eat before I come over.
I find it really hard to believe that there was nothing edible on the vegetarian menu. What did you mate and her DH have?

SquitMcJit · 29/12/2023 22:19

Ah, having paid for it yourself does make it a bit different.

I still think a vegetarian has a right to say they’d prefer not to have meat in the house.

Maybe it’s better to go out next time - then you can both order what you want.

Prayfortheangels · 29/12/2023 22:19

Of course she is not unreasonable to not want meat in her house. There are plenty of lovely non meat options from Indian takeaways. People who insist on meat at every meal are totally unreasonable.

Notimeforaname · 29/12/2023 22:20

I can't stand just vegetables in my curry
Then you shouldn't have agreed to it. She asked if you mind, you did, but you said you didn't.

That's on you. Yes I think its cheeky and weird to ask you not to eat a certain thing but you could have said no to eating with them or asked for meat.

mindutopia · 29/12/2023 22:20

When you go to someone’s house who is vegetarian, I’d expect to eat vegetarian food. Even if they aren’t cooking it. Heck, when vegetarian family comes to visit us, I only serve vegetarian food (we aren’t vegetarian and actually raise our own animals for meat). It’s simply about respecting someone else’s ethical values. A veg curry is lovely btw.

Actupfishy · 29/12/2023 22:20

Is it that painful for you to have one dinner without meat on your plate?

Out of respect for your vegetarian friends I would never have ordered meat in their house anyway, just like I wouldn't bring beer to a Muslim persons home.

Original poster
Beanz2022 · 29/12/2023 22:21

I absolutely did not say its my belief to eat meal in every meal, but I.dont often get takeaway, so when I do, it would be my absolute preference to have meat in it. Normal preference, no?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 29/12/2023 22:22

OP, you're kicking yourself for being caught on the hop. Just be ready next time. Say something like 'ill pass, that last curry was rank and would rather not repeat the experience'. Just eat before you go over.

There's no point in being mad now. You had a chance to say no.