Being told what to order from takeaway..

[Beanz2022]

friend invited me round for drinks and food, she said we could get indian takeaway..(context, her and her husband are veggies) she text me one hour before and said would it be OK if you didn't order a meat dish as we don't allow meat in the house.. so I ended up having a vegetable curry which, I really hated.. she had whatever she wanted and thoroughly enjoyed it.. why invite me round if you know I eat meat and won't allow me to order what I want.

The short notice of ‘no meat in the house’ is the real faux pas - the ‘host’ should have made it clear when they issued the invite that they’re non-meat even for takeaways. It’s very short notice and putting your guest on the spot to leave it so late to say so.

"That's fine, I'll be about 30minutes late..."

"Why?"

"Fackin Big Mac's on the way bruv nahwotimean"

I'm a vegan and I find this bonkers.

I think it was controlling of her. She has no right to enforce her views on you. I wouldn't eat with her in the future unless we established that if we eat out that I choose to eat what I want.

@VanityDiesHard where did I try and dictate anything? I suggested there was very likely more than veggie curry on the menu which the op doesn't like. Samosas, bhajis, dhal, paneer, mushroom curry, breads, rices, lovely sauces.

There's so much amazing vegetarian Indian food that you don't need to just order a veggie bhuna or whatever she had.

I eat meat, sometimes I order a meat curry but I think to not be able to find something you like without meat on a menu is unlikely.

Agreed, veg curry can be watery. There's also potato and chickpea spinach dishes which are good esp if not too salty.

I see her reasoning but I think she's being a tiny bit unreasonable because it's a takeaway and none of her pots and pans etc will touch meat, but oh well, it's just.one meal.

Well yes she does have that right in her house.

She doesn't have the right to stop the op ordering meat in a restaurant or serving it in her own home.

More notice would have been nice.

That isn't the point, though. The point is that the OP's friend had no business telling her what she could and couldn't eat, since she was neither cooking nor paying for the meal. The 'no meat in the house' rule is histrionic in the extreme.

I'm a meat eater but would respect the wishes not to bring meat into the house. I wouldn't order a veg curry tho which is prob the least inspiring option available. Sag paneer, aloo gobi, dhal, rice and naan would have been lovely.

If she’d cooked it, you would be unreasonable.. but I can’t believe someone would ask someone round, say it’s a takeaway, not let them order what they want, and then pay for it???

I am vegetarian, I just would have said do you want to take your leftover prawn thing away with you?

I'm vegetarian and I think not allowing someone else to order a takeaway is mean. (However I may have asked you to wash up your own plate and get rid of the takeaway rubbish🤢)

@VanityDiesHard you accused me of trying to dictate to the OP so where did I do that?

This. And you always get those people flooding onto threads like these with their hand on their hip, finger-wagging, and demanding to know WHY you don't like veggie curries. If you like vegetables, what is wrong with a veggie curry? Why do you need to have meat to enjoy it? la la la...

It's even worse on a vegan thread! Someone posted a while back saying they were fed up of being given vegan food when they went to a friend's house, and they got jumped on on the thread, by people demanding to know why, and they gave a list of things that are vegan and said so you don't like this, you don't like that, you don't like the other la la la. Like baked beans, peas, bread, ginger biscuits, peanut butter, and so on and so on...

Completely missing the point, like some posters on here.

@Beanz2022 YANBU and I would have been pissed off too. How would they like it if you ordered their curry for them and ordered a beef curry?! Seems it's OK to force meat eaters to eat a meal with no meat in it, but not OK when it's the other way around.

Your friend sounds a bit bonkers. Does she think meat can be absorbed by inhalation? It's not like a peanut allergy.

She ought to feel embarrassed that she organised the whole evening to suit her and didn’t take you into consideration at all, at your expense. I would feel embarrassed in that situation.

Reasonable if she’s paying but not really reasonable if she expected you to pay for your own. Assume there won’t be a next time but if there is my advice is look for a paneer curry, usually a more satisfying veggie curry option than a vegetable one.

YABU.

You could have declined the invite, eaten before you went round, or suggested the pub if you needed meat.

You said she 'lacked imagination' and that she should have ordered a different sort of vegetarian dish, when the point was that she shouldn't have had to because what she ordered was none of her friend's bloomin' business.

Im a vegetarian and I think your friend was unreasonable. You were paying for your food, you should he able to order what ever you want.

Also, I never order a vegetable curry. I like a lot of sauce to dip my naan into and I find the ratio of vegetables to sauce too much I tend to just order a portion of sauce and a couple of side dishes. Such a shame you didnt enjoy your meal, a takeaway is a treat.

One evening meal without chicken...... not a disaster. Veg curry is lovely. I think you are being ridiculous and childish.
She didnt tell you what to order, she said please dont eat meat in my house which is entirely reasonable. If you were a smoker and she wasnt would you expect to smoke in her house?

You are being ridiculous the veg in a meat curry tastes the same , it doesn't become inedible once there is no meat with it.

This is what I think.
If she doesn’t allow meat in the house, that’s fine. She could have cooked something lovely and vegetarian that the OP would have enjoyed.
Instead, she landed her with the take away idea late in the day and OP paid for it. I think the host was rude and I’d be hesitant to go back.
If you feel like getting your own back, I’d ‘heal burning coals in her head’ by inviting her round to yours for a gourmet 4 course vegetarian meal which you’ve put a huge amount of effort into and paid for yourself.

I would've texted back saying that I'm not a fan of veggie curries, I'll eat at home and then we can meet for drinks.

I wouldn't be keen either, if I'm ordering an Indian, I'd want my favourite curry which includes meat.

If I am having a takeaway it has to be worth the money spent and calories consumed. There is no planet where a vegetable curry could satisfy this fragile balance.

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