Men using Mumsnet

[Moonshine5]

Mumsnet was always a safe space to me, a community of women for women and recently I have noticed an influx of husbands on here.
Can't women have anything just for themselves?I t's getting on my nerves!
(I'm not talking about same sex marriage / partners and I believe in equality).

AINBU Men please seek alternative forms 😊
AIBU Men belong here 🙄

Very telling that a thread about men on MN turned so quickly into a 'bash the childfree' thread. Are there really CF folk turning up to post on threads about weaning etc.? I wouldn't know because, being CF, I don't go on them.

No it tends to be the control your kids in restaurants and supermarkets in AIBU that a childless person would comment on.
I doubt very much they are going on a nappy changing or weaning thread

You know I was thinking about that the other day with Iceland, I'm baffled why do non Icelandic people shop at Iceland or people who don't wear boots shop at boots.

maybe I should go to these strange places then if non mums use mumsnet 😂

I'm not at all baffled by non mums on mumsnet

We have loads of sections and topics that are nothing to do with being a mother

And even on those threads some of the parents tend to be far ruder about the kids than childfree posters are

Indeed. A very common comment here is how the poster hates all kids other than their own. But those parents are never deemed ‘haters’…

You have probably spoken to a lot of men on here without knowing (although lots do like to say ‘man here’).

I don’t care if you are male or female or whether you have children or not. I’m

I use this name when it's relevant that I'm male, or for the few topics where people vaguely know me. I name-change to something neutral for general chit-chat/advice threads. When I said that the last time this thread topic arose, I was accused of being sneaky or secretive. 👀

I must admit, it's a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine to see the MRA cohort pop up with their invented scenarios and inane contributions, and watch them completely obliterated by the intelligent and witty women who challenge them. Its a bit like watching a gang of tigers tear up a wet lettuce.

And yet some of those MRAs may be female.

Men are welcome as long as they don't patronise others.

What about the women on here who frequently patronise others?!

As a formerly child free woman, I read all the threads on conception, birth and babies in my early twenties in fascination as I wanted to be prepared. They were amazing. I genuinely believe that the knowledge I got from Mumsnet saved both me and my son from what would have been an unnecessarily medicalised and potentially fatal induction. Thanks to Mumsnet, I knew the NICE guidance. Thanks to Mumsnet, I was able to refuse induction, stand my ground and ask for a C-section, after I was way overdue. My grandmother lost her first baby during birth as she never went into labour either, but she didn’t have the underlying support I had. Every post of strength on here gives another woman confidence, whether or not it gets acknowledged. My son is happy and healthy and just the best thing ever. So, yeah, I think child free women should be very very welcome.

As for men, I enjoy hearing a different perspective. I prefer the men who say “man here . . . “ though, as at least they are being open.

As for not being a safe space for women, I think this is one of the very, very few global sites where women are allowed to say humans can’t change sex? So it seems very safe to me.

If we're going to be 'technical' about it, there are probably a whole load of people who are mothers but who shouldn't be on here either.

Thinking specifically of mothers from the USA or West Midlands, as well as large parts of the East Midlands, NI, RoI and Scotland; not to mention posh people.

It's MUMSnet; not MOMsnet, MAMsnet, MUMMYSnet, MASnet, MAWSnet or MATERSnet - why do they find that so difficult to understand?!?!

Baffling that this has become a thread about childless/childfree posters! Can we please get back to men? 🤣

I don't know why you want to 'go back to men'. You're getting a bit of a pasting as most people on here aren't rabid 2nd wavers.

Now there's a comment I never thought I'd see!😂

A few years ago my friend came to visit us with her dh and children. She had just been promoted, he’d been made redundant so they decided he was going to be a sahp. Once I asked him how he was finding it (I was a sahp at the time), he started talking about how he felt he was failing, the house wasn’t as clean as when they’d been working, he wasn’t playing with the kids or baking with them as much as he’d planned as he always had something to catch up on. His mum was asking him to drive her places all the time and he felt guilty putting the kids in and out of the car etc etc. We chatted, I told him we’re all there and how hard it is etc etc. At the end of the visit dh said ‘you definitely really helped him, he sounds snowed under’ Fast forward to dh wfh and me going back to work and dh saying ‘I didn’t get the washing I wanted to done,’ I put the kids in front of the tv etc etc. In some respects there are absolutely no differences between men and women and I definitely think men should be able to look through the wealth of stuff we can on mn

@VanityDiesHard "
I don't know why you want to 'go back to men'. You're getting a bit of a pasting as most people on here aren't rabid 2nd wavers."

Because I think that childless/childfree women should be welcome.

Haven't noticed the pasting-and not sure what you mean by 2nd wavers.

I think it started as mothers but has mushroomed and incorporates a lot of different people now.

Men are fine as long as they aren't pervy. I lost a baby and decided not to try again, don't have a child. Other people just want to chat.

So it's a much broader base than how it started out. I just stick to forums which are appropriate for me and avoid anything like baby loss.

what is that supposed to mean?

It means that the idea of separatism does not appeal to most contemporary feminists. The poster I was responding to is very old fashioned in her views, as I know from certain other threads we have locked horns on.

It will be a small minority and so not a problem. I think it does help prevent the forum being an echo chamber on certain topics.

I certainly agree that people without children should be welcome! However, I don't like the idea of this place being women only, even if that were possible to enforce (which it isn't) My reference to 2nd wave was perhaps a touch intellectually lazy and for that I apologise; I was using '2nd wave' as a shorthand for separatist, which is not wholly accurate.

I can’t stand the ones who say “as a man…” why does it matter? Like the fact they are a man somehow means their opinion is more valid. I just gloss over those posts. On the whole I don’t mind a few blokes here if they are posting in good faith, also how do we know just from an anonymous username? There are plenty of appallingly cruel posters here who happily tell you they are a woman whilst they give another woman (identified from an obvious post) a good pasting.

But if we assume that (contrary to what the site owners and their team frequently confirm) MUMSnet is only for mothers and nobody else, then women without children of their own are no more 'qualified' to participate than men are.

Why should we limit a thread to complaining about just one non-specifically-mentioned group that certain people decide they don't like/want but then ignore another one that (apparently) is equally excluded? That makes as much sense as randomly saying that women under 5'6" who are not mums are allowed, but those who are taller have no business being here at all!

Either it's for everybody (as long as they are respectful and abide by the rules) or it's strictly for women who are mums only; you can't have it both ways and allow flexibility in one case but refuse it in another.