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AIBU?

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Original poster

Men using Mumsnet

384 replies

Moonshine5 · 28/12/2023 10:12

Mumsnet was always a safe space to me, a community of women for women and recently I have noticed an influx of husbands on here.
Can't women have anything just for themselves?I t's getting on my nerves!
(I'm not talking about same sex marriage / partners and I believe in equality).

AINBU Men please seek alternative forms 😊
AIBU Men belong here 🙄

OP posts:
PhotoDad · 28/12/2023 10:33

I joined MN at my DW's suggestion, in order to answer a particular technical query. I've stayed because of the great advice and community spirit. I do think that there should be online safe spaces, but a public forum isn't suitable for that.

LinnieM · 28/12/2023 10:34

nutster · 28/12/2023 10:15

“safe space”?

have you read some of the threads on this site?!

That’s the first thing I thought too

VanityDiesHard · 28/12/2023 10:35

WandaWonder · 28/12/2023 10:30

I don't care who is women or men but I am sick of the double standard men are the enemy and women are saints who can't do anything wrong

So maybe more men might balance it out, and hopefully of we stop the robotic posts that sound like they have been created by someone swallowing a motherboard it would be even better

I don't care who is women or men but I am sick of the double standard men are the enemy and women are saints who can't do anything wrong

This, so very very much. It drives me nuts how posters will tie themselves in knots to make everything the man's fault in any situation, while excusing a woman who does the same or even worse. It reminds me of an old old advert (like 25 years old) I heard on the radio about two men who were criticising a woman parking her car, bitching about women drivers and how they were useless. The 'woman' then bashes her car and the men sneer, then the person driving the car gets out and it transpires they are a man. The two men immediately backpedal and think up all kinds of excuses for why this bloke bashed his car, visibility was poor, road was slippery, yadda yadda. This site reminds me of that advert only in reverse.

Brefugee · 28/12/2023 10:36

genuine posters? no problem.

"Man here - let me mansplain"? into the sea with you

betterangels · 28/12/2023 10:36

WandaWonder · 28/12/2023 10:30

I don't care who is women or men but I am sick of the double standard men are the enemy and women are saints who can't do anything wrong

So maybe more men might balance it out, and hopefully of we stop the robotic posts that sound like they have been created by someone swallowing a motherboard it would be even better

Agree with all of this.

ShippingNews · 28/12/2023 10:37

It literally states it’s a site for “parents” - not even female parents - and yet many posts are from people who are not parents. There is even a special section for childless posters. Maybe you could complain about that too.

Gardeningtime · 28/12/2023 10:37

Why would you think it’s a safe space, how do you not know there are both 10 million people on here, and there is no verification or vetting on sign up?

ChristmasFairyGodmother · 28/12/2023 10:38

Oh I was just about to post the same 😡

Men have the whole world, why can't they stay out of our wee corner?

Gardeningtime · 28/12/2023 10:39

WandaWonder · 28/12/2023 10:30

I don't care who is women or men but I am sick of the double standard men are the enemy and women are saints who can't do anything wrong

So maybe more men might balance it out, and hopefully of we stop the robotic posts that sound like they have been created by someone swallowing a motherboard it would be even better

I noticed that too, I find it difficult to comprehend. Women are always innocent and justified, no matter how shitty the behaviour and it’s always a man’s fault, or of a man does it, it’s ltb territory. If a woman does it, it’s fine.

ChristmasFairyGodmother · 28/12/2023 10:39

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LinnieM · 28/12/2023 10:39

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That was really uncalled for

IncompleteSenten · 28/12/2023 10:39

You think a large public anonymous forum on the internet is a safe space? It is not and never has been a safe space. It is impossible for it to be a safe space unless it goes private and you can only access it after extensive verification and even then it's maybe a 50/50 chance.

Anyone can sign up and then post as a woman. For all you know, half of the people here saying they're women are men.

People need to get rid of this idea that Mumsnet is somehow safe or private. It's neither and it's best to accept that and post accordingly.

Not only do men post here but people who aren't even parents post here despite the tagline saying by parents for parents 😲

Also, people who don't have children and don't ever want children post here. They've got an actual section. On Mumsnet. 😲😲😲

Mrstwiddle · 28/12/2023 10:40

Completely agree OP

ChristmasFairyGodmother · 28/12/2023 10:40

ShippingNews · 28/12/2023 10:37

It literally states it’s a site for “parents” - not even female parents - and yet many posts are from people who are not parents. There is even a special section for childless posters. Maybe you could complain about that too.

Nope, it's literally called Mumsnet and was literally populated almost exclusively by women until relatively recently. The wording eg parents is called marketing speak.

Gardeningtime · 28/12/2023 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Then find a female only site. It is for you to leave. Not try to force others out.

Gardeningtime · 28/12/2023 10:41

ChristmasFairyGodmother · 28/12/2023 10:40

Nope, it's literally called Mumsnet and was literally populated almost exclusively by women until relatively recently. The wording eg parents is called marketing speak.

Show quote history

The forum is open to all people, across the world. If you do not like this, then it’s on you to find a forum that provides what you want.

CurlewKate · 28/12/2023 10:41

I have to admit that, if I had the choice, Mumsnet would be a woman only space. But I don't have the choice so....

I am amazed when people talk about men getting a hard time on here though. Maybe I'm reading different threads? The level of justifying/excusing/minimising men's bad behaviour is, IMHO, simply staggering.

minicheddars87 · 28/12/2023 10:41

Regardless of how anyone feels about males using the site, how would that realistically be tackled? It's a site where everyone's completely anonymous and I don't think there would be any way to reasonably ban males that wouldn't get into some weird territory. I could be male for all anyone reading this knows.

Firecarrier · 28/12/2023 10:43

YABU

I think there might be happier marriages if a few more men wandered in here 😁

Coshei · 28/12/2023 10:44

Threads like this put me off registering for a long time, so I only read threads that were relevant to me. I eventually signed up because I had a question and people were helpful and nice despite me being a man. I think it’s tiring to see these types of threads and I consider them nothing but bad attempts at trolling.

WandaWonder · 28/12/2023 10:45

VanityDiesHard · 28/12/2023 10:35

I don't care who is women or men but I am sick of the double standard men are the enemy and women are saints who can't do anything wrong

This, so very very much. It drives me nuts how posters will tie themselves in knots to make everything the man's fault in any situation, while excusing a woman who does the same or even worse. It reminds me of an old old advert (like 25 years old) I heard on the radio about two men who were criticising a woman parking her car, bitching about women drivers and how they were useless. The 'woman' then bashes her car and the men sneer, then the person driving the car gets out and it transpires they are a man. The two men immediately backpedal and think up all kinds of excuses for why this bloke bashed his car, visibility was poor, road was slippery, yadda yadda. This site reminds me of that advert only in reverse.

Show quote history

I also wonder if there was situation the same and we had all women talk of it then men

'I lent my neighbour a spanner and still waiting on its return'

Men - 'go get it', ok job done

Women 'oh I cant they will judge me','

'you are being so inconsiderate maybe they have some issues and the man is having an affair with the Librarian and he is going to run off to Ibiza and marry his cousin and her fancy toolbox '

'But won't you think of the spanner it has feelings and doesn't need to be put down'

'won't you think of the spanner children'

Mrsjayy · 28/12/2023 10:46

do you really think a internet chat forum is a safe space ? you never know who you are talking to on anon forums.and why shouldnt dads/men post ?

Workway · 28/12/2023 10:48

i started a light-hearted thread about parenting just a few days ago. The people who responded did so in the spirit it was intended (a bit of a giggle).

Then one person came along saying 'this is why I don't have children, I have wonderful weekends, did you not meet parents before deciding upon kids'. Basically being very sarcastic and disparaging.

Absolutely ridiculous to write something like that on a forum called 'mums-net'. Like what are you doing here then? The mind boggles!

A well intentioned man seeking relationship/parenting advice is far less annoying than someone who has actively decided not to have children but decides to join a parenting forum to spread their superiority!

WhateverMate · 28/12/2023 10:48

It's been ages since someone was dim enough to state they thought a public internet forum was a 'safe space'.

<< Feels nostalgic >>

fromhellsheartistabatthee · 28/12/2023 10:49

You could start your own women-only forum, but how would you actually stop men posting?