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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Men using Mumsnet

384 replies

Moonshine5 · 28/12/2023 10:12

Mumsnet was always a safe space to me, a community of women for women and recently I have noticed an influx of husbands on here.
Can't women have anything just for themselves?I t's getting on my nerves!
(I'm not talking about same sex marriage / partners and I believe in equality).

AINBU Men please seek alternative forms 😊
AIBU Men belong here 🙄

OP posts:
nutster · 28/12/2023 10:14

teeny teeny tiny minority

just ignore and move on

but the idea of campaigning against men from posting on the site simply on the grounds of fact they are a man is pretty abhorrent to me.

Spend 3 mins perusing some of the chats and you will see that someone’s unpleasantness is not linked to their sex

MabelMoo23 · 28/12/2023 10:14

WTF there are lots of different topics on Mumsnet that are applicable to either sex.

My husband might google something to do with our daughters - and it directs him here - should he not look because he has a penis?

nutster · 28/12/2023 10:15

d I believe in equality

well that’s good of you! 😂

nutster · 28/12/2023 10:15

“safe space”?

have you read some of the threads on this site?!

BarneyMcBugle · 28/12/2023 10:16

It's not the men who annoy me.

It's men (and women) who think they're on reddit.

Copy pasting OPs from reddit is the worst.

Tiffanysepiphany · 28/12/2023 10:16

Well they sometimes need educating too I guess

betterangels · 28/12/2023 10:16

Nowhere on the Internet is a safe space.

Iwishiwasasilentnight · 28/12/2023 10:16

I like the idea of me seeking out advice about parenting and general mental load. Women as whole want men to equally pull their weight and good for them for taking the initiative to do something about an area where they lack knowledge or want advice.

JamSandle · 28/12/2023 10:17

People can post where they like. Policing the Internet is silly.

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 28/12/2023 10:17

I don't think the site is in danger of becoming overrun by men. It's a predominantly female space.

PuttingDownRoots · 28/12/2023 10:18

Parenting advice is equally needed by men and women.

School admissions for example.

PinkFrogss · 28/12/2023 10:18

Mumsnet is a public and popular website, not a “safe space” at all. Threads and posts are often in the news and discussed elsewhere.

Although when it comes to the “man here” types who must announce they’re a man before stating their opinion you’re NBU. Followed closely by the posters who seem to always say “just asked my DH and he thinks….”

NewPapaGuinea · 28/12/2023 10:19

It literally states it’s a site for “parents”

PlantDoctor · 28/12/2023 10:19

I agree with above. I think a lot of this site is parenting discussions, which really should involve dads too. Dad forums get much less traffic.

It's already an anonymous platform with people of many differing viewpoints. I don't find it's more or less safe if men are also here.

Please don't squeeze men out if they want some parenting advice/discussions.

Singleandproud · 28/12/2023 10:20

Mumsnet is/was primarily a parenting forum, surely we do ourselves a disservice if we say that it's only for mums (Parentsnet just doesn't have the same ring to it), since Mumsnet was launched increasing numbers of men have taken a more active role in parebting. Dad's need to know how to take care of their children and have a space where they can ask for advice too. Besides that the forum has branches out into so many different areas there are very few that I can see that should be 'female only'

Awrite · 28/12/2023 10:20

The minute any ban is mentioned, cue hordes infiltrating and taking over.

JenniferJuniper80 · 28/12/2023 10:20

I do know some real life single dads. One young dad is solo parenting a girl abd gas no womenfolk really in hus life, I'm sure he'd appreciate mumsnet at some point.

Not sure how a man asking about dating or bras impacts your 'safety'

NotTerfNorCis · 28/12/2023 10:23

Mixed feelings. Men tend to take over a site and change the tone. It's nice having a site that is mainly for women. Mumsnet is pretty unique in that respect.

Snacx · 28/12/2023 10:26

I don't have a problem if it's a dad, but when it's single man with no children commenting incel and red pill type comments I wish they'd be banned sooner.
It irks me when a female posters asks specifically for men's opinion on here, I think it's insulting to come on a majority female platform and then ask for men. She doesn't even post it on the dad's section, which will show up on 'active' even if it's a bit sleepy there.
You should never assume an open online platform is a safe space, because threads on here get screenshottee, shared and sometimes go viral..years ago I was recognised by 2 peope IRL from my thread which led to very awkward conversations despite thinking i had anonymised the details enough. Just be very careful what you post and also just skip or report nonsense posts you don't have to read them. Posters have all sorts of agendas and backgrounds, if you saw how some live their lives versus how they judge and lecture on threads you'd roll about laughing.

VanityDiesHard · 28/12/2023 10:27

YABVU. For one thing, this place isn't a 'safe space'. For another, it is for parents, not just mothers. If it were formed today, it probably would have another name. You can't complain about men not taking on any of the load of parenting and then seek to exclude them from a forum like this one. Get a grip.

TheDandyLion · 28/12/2023 10:29

A public forum is not a safe space.

WandaWonder · 28/12/2023 10:30

I don't care who is women or men but I am sick of the double standard men are the enemy and women are saints who can't do anything wrong

So maybe more men might balance it out, and hopefully of we stop the robotic posts that sound like they have been created by someone swallowing a motherboard it would be even better

scoutingfor · 28/12/2023 10:32

Mumsnet was always a safe space to me

It's a public forum, not a safe space

IAmAnIdiot123 · 28/12/2023 10:32

In what world could an open Internet forum ever be considered a safe space?

Toomuch44 · 28/12/2023 10:33

Doesn't bother me, I find some of their posts interesting. Also, how far would you take it - you get some teenagers posting for advice or support, who clearly aren't parents.