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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Men using Mumsnet

384 replies

Moonshine5 · 28/12/2023 10:12

Mumsnet was always a safe space to me, a community of women for women and recently I have noticed an influx of husbands on here.
Can't women have anything just for themselves?I t's getting on my nerves!
(I'm not talking about same sex marriage / partners and I believe in equality).

AINBU Men please seek alternative forms 😊
AIBU Men belong here 🙄

OP posts:
notacooldad · 28/12/2023 10:50

I don't care who is women or men but I am sick of the double standard men are the enemy and women are saints who can't do anything wrong
This is exactly right.
I have just been reading a thread and advice was given on how to sneakily get dh's device and how to view deleted files. The dh has done nothing wrong! If it was the other way round people would be telling the op to LTB and that he was controlling!

PhotoDad · 28/12/2023 10:50

Different boards on MN have very different feels. I feel really at home in support threads for DCs' cohorts and activities, and on the HE/FE discussions. Maybe the intrusive style of men's posts is more offensive on some other topics? But as this is AIBU, and I was met with a deletion message when I tried to see a tagged reply just now on this thread, I assume that it's already starting to turn nasty. 🙁

starynightskys · 28/12/2023 10:51

betterangels · 28/12/2023 10:36

Agree with all of this.

Show quote history

I agree with this woman do take it to far on here sometimes with man bashing.
Never wrong they have to be right no matter what.
And my safe place in my home not online.
Ive seen some post and think your the problem not your husband or partner.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 28/12/2023 10:51

In what world could an open Internet forum ever be considered a safe space?

It depends what you mean by safe. I think it's only relatively recently that 'safe' started meaning 'protected from encountering opinions or comments you might find hurtful or offensive', rather than 'dangerous to life and limb'. Nobody has the guaranteed right never to encounter offence, anywhere. You choose what you post on here, and how 'outing' your posts are, you choose which threads to click on.

Justanotherdobby · 28/12/2023 10:52

YANBU - I've noticed the same thing and as you say it perplexes me that they can't create/contribute to their own forums. Out of curiosity I went over to Dadsnet to see what it's like and it's abysmal: hardly any posts, terribly organised and very little interaction so I suppose it's easier for them to come here and benefit from the higher quality of site.

LeonieSN93 · 28/12/2023 10:55

This reply has been deleted

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WhateverMate · 28/12/2023 11:00

@LeonieSN93 childfree MNetters don't come with a big red warning label.

You've probably had just as much meaningful advice from them without knowing they're childfree.

The same as the OP has probably had many a meaningful chat with men on here without knowing, because it's irrelevant.

nutster · 28/12/2023 11:00

Justanotherdobby · 28/12/2023 10:52

YANBU - I've noticed the same thing and as you say it perplexes me that they can't create/contribute to their own forums. Out of curiosity I went over to Dadsnet to see what it's like and it's abysmal: hardly any posts, terribly organised and very little interaction so I suppose it's easier for them to come here and benefit from the higher quality of site.

you answer your own questions as to why they don’t.

So the teeny tiny minority that do wish to - join mumsnet as nothing specific for them due to lack of demand

notacooldad · 28/12/2023 11:01

Most topics are for anyone to contribute to regardless of sex. Does it matter who posts on the travel board or the ones about tv, gardening, pets, property etc.
If you have a respectful opinion and don't abuse anyone than as far as I can see it's ok whoever posts.

Prawncow · 28/12/2023 11:02

NotTerfNorCis · 28/12/2023 10:23

Mixed feelings. Men tend to take over a site and change the tone. It's nice having a site that is mainly for women. Mumsnet is pretty unique in that respect.

This

WithACatLikeTread · 28/12/2023 11:03

Internet is not a 'safe place'. Plus men are parents too so why shouldn't they be on here?

CurlewKate · 28/12/2023 11:03

@Coshei " I think it’s tiring to see these types of threads and I consider them nothing but bad attempts at trolling"

🤣🤣🤣Really?

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 28/12/2023 11:09

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Barney60 · 28/12/2023 11:10

I find it quite nice to get male opinions on things occasionally on here.

EBearhug · 28/12/2023 11:11

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Well, I dunno. I don't think me not being a parent means I'm incapable of talking about the Archers, gardening, books I've read, yoga, swimming, relationships or a million other things discussed here.

You'd have a point if I started going on about the best eco-friendly nappies or something, but there's loads of stuff here that you don't need to be a parent to talk about. I expect there are even child-free people who work for Pampers and the like, who might know relevant stuff about it. After all, there are non-parents who work in teaching, healthcare, clothes shops and all sorts of other things children need. They might have useful opinions to share sometimes, too.

DyslexicPoster · 28/12/2023 11:11

I voted YABU as people get very angry when asked why they post on here and have no kids and never wanted kids. So therefore I think MN isn't the site it used to be, or was initailly marketed too. Hell, people was advising to keep a dog that had bitten the ops child twice last night. this site doesn't advocate parenting any more.

It is still mainly very pro women. Unless it gets flooded with men it brings balance. It's still majority women. There are more sites like this less well known that are closer to what MN was.

MorningSunshineSparkles · 28/12/2023 11:13

Mumsnet has never been female only, I was here back in 2010 and there was men here then. It’s an internet forum, everyone is welcome or the forum owners lose money hand over fist trying to police a space that isn’t capable of being policed.

WhateverMate · 28/12/2023 11:13

Over an hour and not a single peep from the OP 🙄

Sparklesocks · 28/12/2023 11:14

This reply has been deleted

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If you look at AIBU threads the percentage about parenting most days is tiny compared to ‘my crap DH/my colleague is a shit/should I buy this house/what is your typical meal plan’ type threads. I don’t think you need to be a parent to partake in those. There are many boards on here that aren’t directly about parenting.

WandaWonder · 28/12/2023 11:14

Some of the best parenting advice I had when my child was a baby was from people who have never has much to do with children, it really helped

I think it was because they could see it from a different angle

nutster · 28/12/2023 11:14

WhateverMate · 28/12/2023 11:13

Over an hour and not a single peep from the OP 🙄

embarrassed? she should be

onlyfansgirl2004 · 28/12/2023 11:19

Moonshine5 · 28/12/2023 10:12

Mumsnet was always a safe space to me, a community of women for women and recently I have noticed an influx of husbands on here.
Can't women have anything just for themselves?I t's getting on my nerves!
(I'm not talking about same sex marriage / partners and I believe in equality).

AINBU Men please seek alternative forms 😊
AIBU Men belong here 🙄

What do you mean when you say you’re not talking about same sex marriage partners? Is it ok for men to post on here if they’re gay but not if they’re straight?

Why does that make a difference? You say you believe in equality but that’s exactly the opposite of equality isn’t it.

Lighrbulbmo · 28/12/2023 11:20

The name Mumsnet is a marketing ploy really that makes some people think and debate (as is the case on this thread) that this is a forum exclusively for Mums.
That is idea is actually
sexist though, dads also parent, as do many adults who carry out loco parentis.