If you or your child had private education, was it worth the money?

[edithfg]

Just that really. We can afford it with relative ease but would mean one less holiday a year and we’d always be in the home we are in now. It’s nice and lots of room but essentially means we could go further up the ladder. Small sacrifices really and I want to do best for dc. Was it worth the money?

I moved mine at 5&7 into private, they’re quiet academic kids and they’re thriving, they were bored in state.

but the biggest thing is actually the sense of confidence and responsibility which you can really see. I went to a private school myself and hated the boorish hooray Henrys but they seem to be able to handle it.

Nice and nephew attended a long established and very traditional public school. Academically, they've done no better than my kids at the local comp and in fact ending up at less prestigious universities - but they have gained something extra in confidence and useful connections.

So far, so good.

They're extremely good with ds and supporting his needs. I doubt he'd get the attention and 1-on-1 he needs in a state run school. He also wouldn't have access to nearly half of the facilities he does now if he didn't go to private school. Our town has no swimming pool for example, his school does.

We couldn't afford it but if we had been able to I worry that I would have put huge expectations on our DDs, even subconsciously. I would want a return on that money I spent.

Whereas my attitude at state school was just do your best, have fun, and hopefully end up doing something you enjoy that makes you happy. Which they did.

Put two through private. Like you, affordable but meant we didn't upgrade to a bigger house etc. very comfortable life though. Worth it? Yes - 100%. They are two very different kids but both very motivated, good level of self confidence (not public school twats, but confident of their place in the world.). Couldn't be happier with the people they are and I do believe having a good education has been key. As others have said, if you have genuinely excellent state schools accessible this may well be as good, but I don't regret a minute of my kids education.

The private school I work at does talk a good game, but here's how the list @OliviaFlaversham posted, pans out..

smaller classes, - yes, and most of the children are entitled and superior and don't listen as they know more. Just don't get the respect as one does in state automatically. I know some parents like that, but it makes it difficult for them to learn
greater freedom with curricula, - not a good thing in my area. State school ks2 curriculum for swimming is 25m and 30seconds tread. The state schools kids in my area can all do it, the private can't.
free from govt control - see above, gov control is a good thing here
teachers less burnt out - yup, they all muck around. At my school it's a very high percentage of really good looking staff in the pe dept, all young, all unqualified, all just mess around because no one is watching
better - not in my experience

We live a 20 minute bus ride from one of the top boys day schools in the country. They do great bursaries too. But having seen the boys laden down with huge bags on the bus, and the friends child who was chucked out in GCSE year because their results weren't going to be good enough, I'm quite glad we decided not to put ds in for a scholarship.

If you want your ds to have high level music, dance or sport (particularly cricket) i would definitely consider it - ds's school isn't terrible at music but nothing like what my privately educated relatives have got, and the sport was minimal. But not for academics.

Depends on the child and depends on the school. They are not all made equal.

from my time working in an outpatient setting where we saw a lot of the local private boarding school kids along with the state school kids. I would say that on the whole the state school kids seem happier, but the private school ones more resilient. These are boarders though, so wouldn’t be the same for day pupils.

My DC’s have both gone to private secondary and for us I think it was a good thing. Our local state schools are ok but not great.

it’s the overall package that works for us, longer days so easier for working parents and after school clubs so everything is in 1 place and we aren’t taking them here there and everywhere of an evening.

smaller class sizes so they are less likely to hide away which builds confidence and just more opportunities, sports they would never have tried, clubs we hadn’t even thought of. My dd has never been particularly sporty but she has actually found a sport she really enjoys.

like others have said though, it totally depends on the schools and there are some fantastic state schools, just unfortunately not near us

Yes. I went to private school. One local state was good but no guarantee I’d get in (catchment areas and all that).

We didn’t have holidays the entire time I was at school. We ate basic food. Old cars. Grandparents helped with fees (just to demonstrate what a huge stretch it was for my parents). Didn’t go on any of the big trips either. At sixteen I got a job to help my parents out financially (the jump in fees between YR11 - YR12 was £3K a year).

I ended up;

• Excellent results
• Good university + degree
• Good job
• Own home (before 30 paid for by me)
• Good contacts
• Happy

I had a few friends who did go to the local states, including the good one. Most ended up in none blue collar jobs (nothing wrong with that but they were exceptionally bright and could have done much more - which they admit themselves). The two I still speak to resent eg fact their parents prioritised nice cars and holidays over giving them the best chance to succeed.

It’s not just about the education but the opportunities it gives you, the contacts, the confidence etc.

I am in the USA and our kids went to Catholic schools through 18. Due to the legal separation of Church and State they are private. Catholic schools are usually half the price of secular private schools in our area as they are subsidized by the parish, diocese and voluntary hours by parents.
There are plenty of excellent state schools in our area but we are still very glad our kids went to Catholic schools. The school has a caring and supportive ethos and the smaller school especially at high school level (14-18) means no kid is ignored or falls through the cracks. Our youngest had a tough time around age 15-16 emotionally after COVID and my cancer journey. I think he was ripe for going off the rails but the school helped prevent that and assured us a good 30-40% of boys were unmotivated at his age until maturity kicked in. Sure enough he has turned it all around, has straight As and applied to study engineering at uni. I don't think our experience is unique to Catholic schools but I do think the support and close knit community is rare. I also like the amount of strong, supportive families from diverse backgrounds. For us it has been the right choice. All three kids are very self motivated, the first 2 were very well prepared for college and have done really well there. They also gained an emotional maturity and expectation that they need to put the work in that I feel the school emphasized. So I appreciate the work ethic they have built and the level of critical thinking they were taught. I do think the school prepared them for adulthood.

Education is more important than one additional holiday and a bigger house (assuming the current house is sufficient and you're not overcrowded, which it sounds like you're not).

Assuming your local private schools are better than the local state schools, it would be a no-brainer for me.

Depends on the school and the child.
Private schools are good at getting decent grades from mediocre or lazy kids.
If your kids are bright and motivated, and there is a decent state school nearby, don’t waste your money.

In my experience, worth every penny. My children have loved school, and have always been happy to go in every day. The schools have been very good at spotting where their strengths lie, and challenging them so they don’t become bored. Smaller classes mean they get more attention. Quieter, well behaved children don’t become lost and left to coast. Not everyone will agree with this, but the private schools I have had experience of don’t have the same level of disruptive pupils as they are often not offered a place.

I am so pleased that my children were in the private sector during the covid years. The difference between what they had and what the local state school pupils had was stark. From day 1 of lockdown, they had a full day of lessons.

I would caveat it by saying that there are definitely some private schools which I don’t think are worth the money. You need to choose carefully and do a lot of research.

I went for the other approach and moved to a bigger house near a good secondary school. We had three or four foreign holidays per year, days and meals out every weekend, the DC did every club/sport they wanted to do and had/have lots of lovely local friends. They went to good universities and my DH and I were able to retire at 52 and 55.

I went to a private school from reception until end of GCSEs and definitely feel that it was worth it. I did well in my exams but more than that I feel that it gave me a really solid foundation for higher education in terms of knowing what my learning style is, how to revise, not to be put off at the first hurdle etc. I had so many extra curricular options - I did singing lessons, was in the choir, took part in school musicals. It was seen as cool to be intelligent and hard working, and to be involved in either sports or the arts, so no one was embarrassed to do well.

My son is now at a private school as he has SEN and the support available to him is far above and beyond what we could expect at any of our local state schools.

Yes - worth every penny.

You’re right to not just focus on the academics OP. The academics were the last thing we were thinking of when sending DCs private. It’s the whole package of sport, care, convenience and the ability to have more control as a paying customer over matters such as bullying etc…

The behaviour in independent school was SO much better than our brush with an ‘excellent’ state junior school, where our very calm and friendly daughter was consistently placed beside disruptive pupils who couldn’t concentrate in order to help them, yet no thought given to how it affected her.
I wanted then to have a traditional, happy education and positive school experience - we got that in spades despite occasionally (financially) being on the bones of our arse 😄

My daughter is at a private prep school and it's definitely worth it. They have the staff numbers required to deliver a fully differentiated curriculum and deploy staff as required e.g. in my daughter's class there's a massive range of abilities so sometimes they can have 5 or 6 teachers in there, in other classes, they only need one or two as the abilities are more even. They have specialist teaching from a young age, brilliant extra-curricular offering, zero tolerance for bad behaviour and a real ethos that instils a love of learning and taking personal accountability from an early age. The teachers and the head take a lot of care to get to know all the children as individuals, in our case this has been invaluable as we navigate some ASD assessments for our daughter and whilst the school look at providing some alternative arrangements for her academically as she appears to be "gifted" in some way (basically they're teaching her a lot of the core subjects with the year group above her, a state school would have their hands tied and be unable to do this apparently) They're also very open door policy, you can rock up or email at any time and a member of staff will make the time to talk to you.

I went through state then grammar but have supported children through private school. I would say the private schools give children a lot of confidence and significantly help with Oxbridge admission. They will possibly network with future useful connections .

They also tend to push really hard for academic achievement (which is not always a good thing, can create very stressed children). However , it depends on the individual schools and you would have to compare the schools in your area. Look at lists of alumni from those schools and what they have achieved.

I want to add that the kids continued with full-time school all through COVID either online or were the first ones back on campus months before the state schools. The standards remained very high and tests showed the students didn't fall behind. I was very impressed with how creative the teachers were to keep high schoolers engaged while they were at home.

I think it depends a fair bit on the state schools you have available

I came from a very working class family where no woman had ever been to uni. Got an assisted place to a private school in the early 90’s, then went to uni and ultimately became a lawyer. I believe that my school broadened my horizons and made me believe that any career path was open to me, if I wanted it.
My two DC now attend private schools. My first DC attended state for the first few years of infants but we made the decision to move to private and are really happy we did. They both love the extra curricular opportunities and the teachers just have so much more time with them with only 12-15 in a class

I had a private education. Not worth it unless state schools are dire.

I have DC in private and state schools. The level of independence, academic expectations, extra curricular activity, freedom, politeness etc is leagues ahead in the private school.

My only caveat is that the state school is not a particularly good one. There might be a less stark contrast if the state school was a good one.