If you or your child had private education, was it worth the money?

[edithfg]

Just that really. We can afford it with relative ease but would mean one less holiday a year and we’d always be in the home we are in now. It’s nice and lots of room but essentially means we could go further up the ladder. Small sacrifices really and I want to do best for dc. Was it worth the money?

Seriously? What a sad comment

I'm going to be really honest with you here. I went to a state secondary school and was an overachiever. My 3 children attend private school and are academically mediocre. I'd never say it to them, but it hasn't been worth it at all.

I'm currently weighing up whether we move house (when I return to the UK) for my son to go to a top 10 UK boys day and boarding school or stay in the area where we are and for him to go to one of the grammar schools.

Franky neither are terrible options but my choice is basically being driven by the opportunity for him to have access to a range of extra curricular opportunities that he won't get at the grammar school and hopefully making him a more rounded individual.

I don't give a monkeys about the exam results as long as he works hard, I care far more about whether he leaves either school with sufficient determination to achieve his dreams and not give up.

Also worth pointing out that state schools might not always equal huge class sizes. My dd did 6th form at an inner city comp. So few pupils stayed on for 6th form that her A Level class sizes were between 4 and 10 pupils, and she did excellently.

Sometimes having the broad choice that being able to pay facilitates is magic. You can match the perfect school to your child. Then it’s worth every penny. It really depends upon your specific child and the schools available.

Just interested how you actually ‘suffered’ in a single sex school?

I went to a sex segregated private school and wish I hadn’t. Socially really hard, I went to school in a town a long way from home so I was set apart from the kids in my street who didn’t want to know me after switching schools. Then we moved closer to school but all the other kids near us were toddlers.

And it was single sex which was shit. I didn’t make many friends at the private school. I did well academically though, spending all my lunchtimes in the library or design & technology rooms doing my homework and extra reading. I was on an asisted place and then won a commercial sponsorship for 6th form. Won everything in terms of prizes in my last year of sixth form, then inexplicably wasn’t accepted on any of the uni courses I applied for despite great grades. At the time we just shrugged and I joined an IT course at a local uni despite not having studied that at A-level or even GCSE. Nowadays I’d be trying to find out why. Such a weird experience in hindsight.

Anyway, the private school had more of everything than state schools. We had two teachers convicted of paedophilia which I believe is higher than average for state schools.

Just back to the financial aspect - you also need to consider the many extras you would have to pay for, eg. expensive uniform, expensive trips, the friends they will be making and how much you might feel pressured to spend on parties and gifts as to not have your child feeling lesser than their peers. If none of that is going to be an issue, I would say it is worth it.

I had a private education, only possible with 2 scholarships, and I hated it.
Massive bullying problem based around wealth, I just did not fit in. The teaching staff were fairly openly scathing too…
Hard to try to fit in with families who had an Au Pair and “Daily Lady”, one long-haul, one short-haul and one skiing holiday a year.
Not being able to afford the music tuition, latest sports kits, high-end fashion for parties was really stigmatising.
We are fairly comfortably off now (due to DHs salary - he left school at 15 1/2 to start an apprenticeship) and I’d not consider it for my kids. If they needed extra help I’d maybe consider extra few hours of tutoring at home for them instead.

Also, as an aside - first time I saw class A drugs was at a Private School party. My other mates could barely afford 10 ciggies to share out ….

Definitely worth it for me but it really is a personal choice to weigh up. I (plus 3 siblings) went to boarding school and it gave us so much in terms of stability and all round education, not just academics. My DD now goes to a private (day) school despite us being in the catchment for 2 o/s primary schools. Academically it’s not anything special but it is known for turning out well rounded, well mannered, kind, self aware, confident adults which will likely give a higher chance of happiness and success than a suite of A*’s at A levels!

My Dad was in the navy and they used to pay for children to attend private schools (maybe still do) so I went to boarding school from 11. I wanted to go (too much Malory Towers 😃) and loved it. I was very academically able anyway - it was a selective entry school - and came out with pretty good O Levels. But I wanted to leave and experience the world a bit so did A Levels at the local tech - so maybe didn't get all the benefits of private school that I might have if I had stayed longer. I didn't go to uni as I had met a local boy and wanted to work. Had I stayed I would have gone on to uni and who knows......

But I did do pretty well in the end - got my degree-equivalent qualification through work and had a fulfilling and successful career.

DSis was three years younger and went to the local comp, as we had stopped moving around so much by then. It didn't have a great reputation and presumably had distractions etc, but she did really well, and has done fantastically career-wise ever since. She did go to uni, and then got a masters.

So I think it's really hard to know. You might do better at private if you aren't that engaged at school, or need motivation. But if you are keen you should do well wherever you go to school. Even the lowest achieving schools still have some great kids and some great teachers!

I think the other differences are things like - making useful contacts, having great sports facilities, maybe not picking up bad attitudes or mixing with the wrong crowd if you're easily led, etc? (Although people always say that our local private school has just as many dodgy kids as the comprehensive - but theirs buy cocaine whereas ours smoke fags behind the bike shed.....😂.)

Sorry - no helpful advice. I would never pay for it at primary as I think the benefits are more at secondary. But every situation is different.......

I went private, came out with excellent grades and no social skills and flirted with an eating disorder (looking back I could easily have tipped over into anorexia). DD is in state school, but we’re lucky that our local schools are very good. She isn’t even faintly interested in sport, and music is catered for by Saturday morning music school. At the moment,she’s on track for 8s and 9s at GCSE, is happy, has friends and doesn’t appear to be developing any issues, but she’s only year 9 so I could end up regretting our choice.

My two went to the local private Cathedral school & would absolutely do it again. The personalisation of education to their own needs was second to none, great range of extracurricular activities (both became good rowers), facilities and extra tuition when my son wanted to try out for the Cathedral choir all amazing. The after school care in a boarding house (fed & homework done) before we could collect them was great. Son toured Europe, broadcast with the BBC and recorded with a very famous group in the course of his chorister years, and daughter got a place in medicine at University. Both have made great friends for life and I would do it all again with no hesitation. Local state schools are not so good, which does influence this.

My DC attended a state primary for the early years. Appears regularly in the Sunday Times lists as one of the top state schools in the country. Full of offspring of educationally engaged parents. And yet there is no comparison between said school and the independent prep we have moved them to. The opportunities for a much broader curriculum, the sport plus other the co-curricular, be it art, music, drama. Plus the confidence and even, unexpectedly, the manners.
So yes, from my perspective, private education while not cheap (in my area it’s £25k per year per child) is worth every penny.

i worked double shift as a waitress to send my boys to a private school. It’s not just about education, it’s about smaller classes, parental backing etc. they are in their 20’s now and both doing well. If they had gone to state school they would have been the ones at the back of the class being naughty.

DH and I both privately educated but he had the most horrendous experiences and I, along with sister and cousin, were fish out of water.
We decided to send our 3 kids to state schools. One had learning difficulties which were identified early by the school.
They have all done well, both academically and as kind and sociable human beings. The one with special needs is now studying for a PhD.

Obviously there are fantastic state schools and terrible private schools but by and large, I would say that if you can afford private, its worth it. It isn't just the education but its all the extras, kids will likely sing in a proper choir, learn to swim, have great sports facilities and coaching staff, lots of interesting trips to go on, music lessons for everyone that wants them etc.

It depends on your DC. All three of mine were extremely bright, sporty and motivated from a young age and we didn't see the need for private. They have all ended up at Oxbridge and all keen sportsmen too. If they had been more mediocre, we would probably have gone private. Money was not an issue.

As many have stated it depends on your state options, but also private schooling options in your area and your child's ability (academic / sporting / artistic).

We only went private from Yr 8, but from our experience our DS has experienced a wealth of opportunities and co-curricular activities that don't really exist at a lot of schools in the state system - trips / cultural activities / national and international competitions.

He has been challenged academically and thrived, classes are smaller and so there is more focused 1 on 1 time with teachers. Also class disruption by unruly students is unheard of. He's just completed GCSE's and come out with 8*9's, 8 and couple of 7's and now onto A levels - would he have achieved this in the state system - we'll never know.

DS has developed a lot of self confidence and a can do attitude (nothing is impossible) and is very self sufficient. He also has a good group of close friends. - The one downside here being that the majority of friends are international students and live overseas.

Is it worth it? - Well money is tight, and we haven't had as many holidays or new cars as often as we could of had or but based on experience to date then yes its worth it.

@ZsaZsaTheCat by not developing friendships with the opposite sex. I lived in the middle of nowhere, and had very limited opportunities for social activities outside of school. DH was at boarding school and his parents lived abroad so that was even more limiting.

I really don't think it's healthy to have single sex environments. I know others disagree but for us it was a huge drawback.

Yes. In my opinion, it's worth it. I went to a private school from 11-18 and my one DC has been at an excellent private school since Reception. He's now in Year 7 and absolutely flourishing. He's so happy at school and it's the perfect school for him, as it's very academic and is challenging him and pushing him to succeed. It also offers so many other opportunities for enrichment. We are by no means rich, but the sacrifices we have made have absolutely been worth it to see our son so content and doing so well.

Depends on school but if you put them in private don't take out before education finished, not fair.

My husband went to private school - hated every minute. He does however say it made him who he is today because it taught him who he didn’t want to be. I suppose it depends on your child. I’ve always said all kids will get where they’re going eventually, don’t push too hard and encourage them to do their best & make the right decisions.