If you or your child had private education, was it worth the money?

[edithfg]

Just that really. We can afford it with relative ease but would mean one less holiday a year and we’d always be in the home we are in now. It’s nice and lots of room but essentially means we could go further up the ladder. Small sacrifices really and I want to do best for dc. Was it worth the money?

We didn't find it at all worthwhile at the boarding school two of ours went to during the later years of their secondary education. My children were very independent and never taught to be rule followers, they didn't fit in with those who were or with the school.
Another went to a London selective day school and that was much more worthwhile, as well as much less expensive.

Both me and my sister were privately educated. However I came out of private education at start of GCSE age (14). I much preferred the state school, I wasn’t wrapped in cotton wool or living in a fantasy world anymore. The difference between me and my sister is stark. She’s oblivious to the real world. Experience wise I hated private, the competition, the lifestyle, the circle of friends that had £20 million houses while my parent couldn’t afford that. I guess it depends on the area and school. Exam/result wise I achieved all A*’s at the state school and went to a good uni.

I went to private school for a few years. I did very well academically but it was really hard socially. My parents were easily the least well off (properly hard up) and I really struggled with the social dynamics and was very lonely. I did make some friends in the end but had no local friends, and it took an hour to an hour 15 to get to and from school so my days felt very long.

I don't personally think that the academic advantages are as important as the all-round experience of learning in a socially and ethnically diverse environment in your local community. My kid is having a wonderful time and learning really well in her state primary. If the secondaries can do even half as well then private school would be a waste of money.

It totally depends on your area (what state schools are available to you vs the local private schools or if you are prepared for your child to board), and of course your child. I went to private school and got (slightly) worse A level results than my husband who went to very average state schools. Our eldest goes to a very selective small private day school now but was at a tiny state primary. Youngest is at the same state primary and will go to the same selective secondary assuming he gets in. The youngest of both may choose to go to a boarding school aged 13, if they can get scholarships, but I hope they don’t as I want them to stay at home!

I don't personally think that the academic advantages are as important as the all-round experience of learning in a socially and ethnically diverse environment in your local community.

The private school where I teach is far more socially and ethnically diverse than my local comp! All depends on the area.

Spend the money on a house within the catchment of an amazing state secondary school.

If there are any of those in your region...

We have experience of both sectors and can.say.that although our children haven't had terrible.experiences in state, we are happy with our private experience. As others have said, it isn't just about results but a holistic experience with more positive attitudes to learning and a much greater range of enriching experiences. In particular the sport is important for us as it feeds into healthy future habits. Our local state schools get excellent results. The biggest negative is rubbish sports opportunities at primary and an increasing lack of willingness to learn of be involved in extra curricular opportunities. It just isn't cool...
I would also say that as our local state gets such good results, house prices are incredibly high which acts as a more hidden economic filter. It doesn't always follow that you get a real spread of types of people in the comprehensive system. School.catchments/house prices have reduced that massively. In our child's private school there are lots of families who naive far.more modestly as they sacrifice lots to afford the fees. Of course I realise that this stills makes them privileged. Ultimately all schools are different and you need to decide what you are looking for. I would say though that private school doesn't necessarily equal top results, universities and jobs so don't don't for that reason. The most significant factor in academic attainment is level of maternal education and family support.

Hmm, it really depends on the child and the schools on offer. Absolutely pointless to compare the results of a child who went to a private school with one who went to a state one as all children start a different levels - it’s about attainment not achievement. No school, private or state can promise anything in terms of results.

I have 2 children and we have done a mix of both. Started at a prep. Great start, very secure in numeracy and literacy early on largely due to small class sizes and the ability of the teacher and TA to give lots of 1 to 1 support. Moved house, both went to the local village first school for a couple of years - utter joy, genuinely a golden period, but that was due to the leadership of the school who truly emphasised happiness over SATs. Best time of our lives. Back to independent from year 5 on when the school finished at the end of year 4.

Our decision to go back to independent was because our state offering at the more senior age group is an utter shambles. Think constant police intervention, every single year at least 1 GCSE class being taught the wrong syllabus etc etc etc. When we toured the atmosphere felt edgy and the teachers looked jaded (no doubt they’re exhausted with everything they’re expected to do in a day). The school they’re now at is a former grammar. Not at all fancy but small classes and high academic achievement. Decent pastoral and good support for my oldest who is on the ASD spectrum. It’s a good school and it was the best for our children at the time we chose.

My husband and I regularly debate the “is it worth it”. TBH I’ve no idea - it’s the road not travelled. I guess we just look at it and think that we don’t want to have any regrets when we have the option.

For what it’s worth, tour the school, look past fancy buildings (they’re a money pit and the money is best spent on staff ratios) try to see if the kids there have a work ethic and the staff seem engaged - that’s the thing that will boost attainment not a Hogwarts setting and an Olympic swimming pool. Above all, happy kids learn. Would your child be happy there? Go with your gut and good luck!

I agree with this. The families with children in these schools are very motivated and there's a good social mix which is important for many of us. But in most areas they're very competitive, as are the best private day schools. The private day schools with lower academic standards are obviously less so.

I agree, one of my sons has moved his family from London to Surrey, mainly because the state secondary schools were so poor in his old borough, despite it being a very middle class area with exceptionally high house prices.

School fees were just too much for them and they've moved from a terraced 3 bed to a detached house with two outstanding local schools.
It was a wrench for them but we all think that they did the right thing.

I would say yes for boys, not sure about daughter. Boys needed to be motivated and in strong company. (Ideally would have gone to grammar schools but none in area.) daughter made most of extra curricular and got top grades across GCSEs and a levels but she probs would have done anyhow. If I had my time again, I’d save the money and pay for tutors if/where necessary when they get to public exam age. We could afford it but also could have bought them an investment property for what we spent!

I am 50 years old now. My mum sent me to private junior school. I am so glad she did, it set me up both academically and with life skills. I have a first class honours degree and a Masters distinction. Just about to start my PhD. I really do believe the private school start to education helped me to achieve this. I can't thank my mum enough.

Have you taken a look at the higher echelons of the Tory Party? Not a great advert for private education and one particular well known school. Of course, as has been said elsewhere, it's the experience and connections that count. And still more likely to get into Oxbridge. Sadly. I bet the folk I'm thinking of are 'proud of achieving' too.

It really depends on which independent school, what the state provision is like and the individual child. We moved all three of our children to an independent primary school having realised that the state system doesn't suit all.

Our eldest is academic however does need some minor reasonable adjustments made to meet her needs. The state system isn't geared to children that meet expectation but would exceed with the correct adjustments in place, they need to fall below expectation before there is any intervention. My second child exceeded expectations in everything, the national curriculum only permits greater depth learning rather than moving into older year group curriculum - he wasn't pushed at all and was expected to help other children when he finished rather than being permitted to progress which didn't suit him.

Snaller classes and her needs being met made a huge difference to my eldest. Being pushed and able to progress at his own rate made a huge difference to my middle one. Both are now back in the state system at Grammar schools (all of which are better than any of the independent local secondary schools).

My youngest daughter is still at primary school, she is different again in that she is of an age where lockdown had a huge effect on her year group. The home schooling offering in the private sector far exceeded that in the state sector and we subsequently moved her across.

There really are so many variables but where we live there is a grammar system in place and the non selective secondary's schools are not good. I do not regret sending my children to an independent primary school. I am happy that we chose state grammar over an independent secondary however if my youngest isn't suitable for a grammar school we will keep her in the independent sector.

A relative is in a private school and it’s much better than state school. So many more opportunities for extracurricular activities. The school work seems to be of a higher standard. He had full days of work all through covid lockdown. Lots more social stuff. Mine go to an outstanding rated secondary and it’s no where near as good.

Depends what you want. Son went to local schools & did well. (Now a graduate teacher) Why would he not with two graduate parents & a house of books?

His primary school was "inadequate". We became governors & worked to make it a school good for all local children.

He has friends from all backgrounds & cultures. His confidence is not the super-confidence of a private education but that of someone who has the measure of mixing with everyone & knowing their value.

It depends on the quality of state school options around you as to whether its worth it!!

For me private school (parents didn't pay couldnt afford; it was job related and paid for by employers) did benefit me academically but not socially. Admittedly it was boarding school so a bit different to your circumstances.

Never begrudge anyone who puts their children into private education or the sacrifices but I have never seen the appeal or the benefit. All that matters in life is getting into a good uni with a good pass

All that matters in life is getting into a good uni with a good pass
😮

I went and had such a good experience. Good exam results and lots of extra curricular activities.

My two girls 7 and 3 have started too in the last year. Very happy with it so far, it is a push financially but well worth it. They are so happy and engaged. The excellent wrap around care has enabled us to work / earn more too.

They often do discount if you pay for a year’s fees up front, so bear that in mind - it can be worth saving up for (and nice to be a year up front in case circumstances change!)

make sure you budget for uniform, it is probably 50% more than state schools.

My youngest has just left home. They were at a local mixed-sex private in London. Lots of friends nearby. Their parents are now our friends ‘for life’. They have confidence and ambition but are kept grounded, kind and humble by having us as public sector parents to guide and advise. Both at great universities now.

It was truly an amazing experience overall. In all their time, we had one or two bad teachers. They rest were either good or amazing. We were very lucky and privileged.

You come across like you are from a different era. I was surprised to see you were only 44! I am in my fifties and the friends I have from ‘top’ private schools come across nothing like this. They definitely started off by merit rather than ‘connections’. They wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I went to state and private. I can say that my two years in private were my happiest and most memorable years. I was a quiet, hard working child and they helped me to be more confident and to understand how to learn. I had opportunities I’d never imagined.

I have also taught in private and although my children are at a lovely state school, I am disappointed by the slow teaching, lack of excitement, uninspiring curriculum…. But it really depends on the school. There are some incredible private schools and some rubbish ones.

That obviously isn’t all that matters. Having a good school experience is important too, whether that is state or private. Having a bad time at school can seriously affect you for a long time to come. You may not really notice or register that your time was good but you sure as hell know if it’s bad.