If you or your child had private education, was it worth the money?

[edithfg]

Just that really. We can afford it with relative ease but would mean one less holiday a year and we’d always be in the home we are in now. It’s nice and lots of room but essentially means we could go further up the ladder. Small sacrifices really and I want to do best for dc. Was it worth the money?

I think this depends on the school, and possibly the child’s ability and personality. At my Russel Group University I was surrounded by people with paid for educations who’d gotten the same grades as me and others from Comps and I must admit I thought their parents had wasted allot of money.

It’s not just about the results though, is it? A big part of what motivates parents who privately educate ime, is providing their kid/s with the opportunities and experiences that private schools offer. The results aren’t the whole of it.

As some pp have said, it depends on your other options plus the private school itself.

My DCs are thriving at an independent school, the class sizes are small and the facilities mean they get to do a lot more than most schools. One of my DC has additional needs which are met (and more) at their current school, and which were not being met at their state school. We saw a huge improvement after we switched for our DC in terms of their wellbeing and inclusion in all activities.

i wouldn’t change it, but then another independent school might not be nearly as good. We chose this one because it’s sporty and encourages critical thinking. It doesn’t excel academically, which for some parents is really important.

My advice is to think about what you want from a school, and then think about what would be best to deliver that- it may be that your local state school actually does a great job.

Is it? My parents definitely sent me to private school for the results.

Most of the other things can be done out of school

I had the enormous benefit of private elementary school education in a single sex setting, and my DCs also benefited enormously from their private elementary school. (In Ireland and the US respectively).
State for secondary - both great schools.

I'd choose a single sex private primary school experience for girls every time.

I think that it's just as hard to generalise about private school parents' motivations as it is to generalise about private schools! As a teacher, I see plenty of parents and students who are entirely motivated by grades and/or university and job prospects. And plenty who aren't.

As a parent I think I fall into that second category, but I'm aware that it takes a lot of financial security to support DC while they 'follow their dreams' and make the most of opportunities.

@spriots "
Is it? My parents definitely sent me to private school for the results.

Most of the other things can be done out of school"

If they sent you just for the results they probably wasted their money. As I said earlier, the only thing that might have tempted me to use private schools is not having to do everything else out of school!

The extra curricular stuff can only be done outside of school if parents have the time though. DH and I both work FT. In order to match the sports, drama, music and other extras DD gets at private school we would have to spend every evening and all weekends ferrying her around to various clubs. It just isn't feasible or desirable. With private school she does all the extras as part of the school day so we can spend quality time as a family on an evening/weekend.

My two girls were both very bright and both did well in state primary schools. We sent the eldest to the local comp, this was in the days before ofsted inspections etc. It was a disaster. She left with no GCSE's and in with a bad crowd.
After this, we paid for our second daughter to go to a highly selective independent grammar school. Acadamically, that worked very well. She has ended up as a senior partner in an international law firm and earns zillions.
However, she says she would never send a child of hers to a school like that, as she calls it an exam factory. Her children all go to indpendent/public schools but far more rounded than hers.
I don't know what the answer is. If she had gone to the local comp I don't think she would have done so well but, maybe, she would have been happier.

@Framilode You are talking about schools 31 years ago.....

I did get excellent results to be fair.

I think one of the reasons that I am reluctant to send mine to private school is that I think I would struggle not to then be disappointed if they weren't academic and got top grades. Which isn't the parent I want to be - I want to encourage them to follow their dreams academic or otherwise.

I can totally understand this. My oldest DC wasn't particularly academic and didn't get great grades, but, like me all those years ago, discovered some subjects that were real passions (and which weren't taught at any other local school), and is now thoroughly enjoying uni.

I think it depends on whether all extracurriculars interest you or not.

Also some are covered at state school too - mine do musical instruments, drama and sport after school as part of the after school clubs offerings so it's mainly swimming we do outside school

I can guarantee that your state school won't do double lessons of sport 5 days a week, each day doing a different sport taught by specialist teachers though. Or wood and brass and keyboard music lessons every week plus 2 lessons of singing every week, again taught by specialist teachers. It is this level that just can't be matched in most state schools and would require a heavy time and money investment to do outside of school. Extra curricular are important to us because they are all part of a well rounded curriculum, that's what we are paying for.
If you have no experience of private schools it is easy to say "state + extras" but in reality it is hard to match the offer.

I went to a private school and we didn't get anything like that much sport or music..

Which I am grateful for as someone who didn't enjoy either!

Nope

Again, this varies hugely according to what a particular school provides/child is interested in, and also depends on perceptions.
One of the main reasons that we didn't send our children to our local private school is that school mandated extra curricular activities would have interfered with the sports and activities that they actually wanted to do and were talented at, plus to me, going to those things is quality family time. (Well, maybe not always - there's a few death o'clock trips to freezing sports pitches I could have lived without 😂 - but mostly.) Plus of course state schools do have extracurricular activities too. Ours has loads, but there's a lot more freedom about whether to do them or not than the nearby independent allows.
Neither way of doing things is intrinsically right or wrong of course, it's a matter of what works best in any given set of circumstances. Everyone gets the same number of hours in the day of course and to some spending more of them doing stuff at school is an advantage, to others, it's an imposition.

@spriots that's a great shame.
DD has discovered a love for singing that she never knew she had and has now joined the school choir, that wouldn't have happened in the local state options. She participated in the Festival of 9 at Christmas and will be at the nearest city's musical theatre in March.
There is such a breadth of sport that she has been able to find her niche sport at school and is happily representing the school. Again this wouldn't have happened at state because they don't offer that sport or have the facilities to train etc. This is a child who always thought she was no good at sport at primary.

I was very happy at school and enjoyed many things about it, but sports and music weren't one of them.

In all honesty, my kids state school offers a much much wider variety of sports than I was offered at private school.

@spriots again it all comes down to the local offer. Our local state secondaries can't offer anywhere near the private school's GCSE results/sports/music/drama or extra subjects.

I went private my nieces and nephews are going private and if I could I’d send mine private in an instant. Not necessarily anything too pretentious but something solid.

How so? Please. Also, considering private

I considered private school for mine. But the Grammar get better results at both GCSE and A level every year, so they go there. Also my worry was the classes were too small and less friends to be made in the private school.

If you're in a selective area then I would try to go for the state selectives first.

@Celticliving " I hate to say it but the kids in private schools have ALL been miles ahead."

That doesn't match my experience. In what ways "miles ahead"?

@Midwinter91 I was exactly the same. I went to a good RG uni from a very ordinary comp and there were loads of people on my course who had been to private school. Quite a few had even been to some very expensive boarding schools - one person went to Eton with Prince William (same age) and he was doing the same course as me and my A level results were better! I remember being really surprised they we were all at the same uni as me.