If you or your child had private education, was it worth the money?

[edithfg]

Just that really. We can afford it with relative ease but would mean one less holiday a year and we’d always be in the home we are in now. It’s nice and lots of room but essentially means we could go further up the ladder. Small sacrifices really and I want to do best for dc. Was it worth the money?

Worth every penny. I teach in a state school and there is no comparison.

I'm state educated and DS is moving to private school next year (upper primary). I'm fairly successful despite going to a mediocre secondary school in the 90s. But that's because I'm intelligent. I was bullied relentlessly for being smart, for not wearing the latest chav sports gear and hated the disruptive classes. And this was when discipline was actually pretty good in school.
I absolutely think I would have done better in private. I wasn't pushed in the slightest, teachers barely knew who I was and I just scraped the grades for uni by studying the night before.

We're moving DS from his 'very good' state primary because the bullying has started and his class has numerous disruptive kids which has been a sad post Covid impact. I don't really care about the grades he comes out with, I just want him to be with kids who want to learn and not have his days disrupted by kids trying to throw chrome books out the window.

And it'll be a stretch to afford (have a DD too) but it feels like it'll be worth it.

Russell

Would you please explain why?

Go state:
If you live in a million pound house catchment area, you live in a fancy part of the south of England or you have selective grammars
If you can’t afford private
If your child is bright, extroverted and resilient as they’ll be okay anywhere

Otherwise definitely private if you can. I’d rather invest in education and wellbeing than a fancy car or whatever

I am finding it hard to grasp because if you can "give up" one holiday to be able to afford the fees, even with a surplus, what will happen if one parent has to give up work, you are then as a family not able to afford the fees.

Maybe give you a second holiday. Or any holiday? 🤷‍♀️

like you I have 4 privately educated DC, two of whom have completed their schooling and two more to go. For most of the older two’s school careers we were a one income family and there have been times where if the working parent had had to give up work continuing to pay fees over the long term
would have been been impossible. I would imagine that is similar for the vast majority of parents with DC in private school. To pretend they “can’t afford school fees” is silly.

to date we have spent in excess of a (somewhat horrifying!) 1.5m on education. I absolutely did not have that in the bank when DC started aged 3 and that doesn’t equate to “not being able to afford fees”.

@DanceMumTaxi yes a few boarding school ones at mine and I had a horrible
housemate who had been to Harrow. Perhaps those kids were thick as bricks though and wouldn’t have gotten A levels if they had been to a state school, and we’re the better for private? Just seemed a bit embarrassing to me

*were

Mumsnet threads on private education are wild, I swear.

it’s generally widely acknowledged that the state education sector is in a particularly dire condition, yet it becomes unparalleled in quality when a poster is weighing up the pros and cons of private education.

Meanwhile, private education should be banned because it offers more in the way of opportunity, privilege and unfair advantage, whilst simultaneously offering none at all, or indeed the opposite, in comparison to state schools.

Oh, and supporting children to the achieve their potential and providing the best environment in which to do so is something that should be available to all, but the kids that receive just that in private school are spoon fed, coddled, and done a disservice.

🫠🫠🫠

@notlucreziaborgia

@notlucreziaborgia Spot on.

@notlucreziaborgia brilliant

100 % worth it. The smaller class sizes really benefitted my son, as he needed to pay attention and not daydream. My daughter just loved school and would have done well wherever she went. However it is all the extras that a private education gives that makes such a difference. We were in the same position as you. We haven’t moved up the property ladder but we love our home and it was a sacrifice worth making. The only thing I would say is that not all private schools are equal. Check it out thoroughly.

Exactly. If someone sent their kids to private school and they've done well, then they'll attribute that success to the private school and don't actually know whether they could have done just as well at a state school.

There again, you’ve got someone like my dd, who changed in year 9 and thus a direct comparison. Her belief of who she is and who she wants to be has completely changed.

The most important thing is that the correct school is chosen and exam results (dd will be sitting GCSES in 5 months) are only part of the equation.

Truthful or bot, you wint get many people saying they spent £100k+ on a child's educationnbut ut wasnt really worth it.

For some that's pocket money though so not an issue.

I considered private for mine and probably won't bother. We can afford it but it's still a lot of money to us and I think he would be better off with us putting the money aside to buy him a property. That way whatever he does for a living he will always have a roof over his head, minimal financial strain and no pressure to live up to an expensive education.

If he turns out to be gifted in some way then we may look at a scholarship for the exceptional opportunity the private school can offer.

Depends what you want. I have a talented cousin excelling on the sporting programme. Her brother is ticking over but not setting the world on fire but both have the same schooling opportunity.

An ex was moved from state to private as he was in with the wrong crowd using drugs. He said the private school had better and greater availability of drugs and it went further under the radar (coke at private vs weed at state).

Another friend was moved to private away from rough state school friends. So you can expect a few wild cards but this may be significantly tempered by a private school having more authority to expel those kids if they cause hassle for the school.

I out earn 6 of 9 private school friends. But some of those dont need to work.
1 was sent because of the boarding opportunities for the parents.

Another was well supported and now has a very niche job.

So it depends what you want from it. It doesnt guarantee a good life but it can certainly offer opportunities for the Arts that state schools can't come close to and ensure better classroom behaviour and therefore better access to an education, especially as many parents consider themselves to be paying for top grades. It's what your kid does with them that's important.

Unless it will tip your kid into top marks or Oxbridge, you need to ask yourself whether the money is better spent in supporting them in other ways. If your kid is not naturally academic, being around highly academic kids that find the work easy may be harder for them.

Yes

Yes 100% worth it.
great resources, varied curriculum, enhanced confidence, high expectations, good connections.
best chance you give your child, esp if you live in London or comparable big city.

I attended a private school before moving to Grammar at 13. Put it this way- I had zero intention of sending my own son to one regardless of finances. Although my family were relatively well off, I was looked down on by other super wealthy kids and the teaching staff.

Wellhellooooodear · Yesterday 23:25

DanceMumTaxi · Yesterday 09:32

Mumsnet is very pro private school. I don’t think you’ll get many people saying they wasted tens of thousands of pounds and regretted it.
Exactly. If someone sent their kids to private school and they've done well, then they'll attribute that success to the private school and don't actually know whether they could have done just as well at a state school.

You are missing the point here, it’s so so much more than exam results, it’s attitude, experiences, expectations and social connections.

I think it depends on what the schools in your area are like. Where I live the state schools are generally very good, there aren’t any grammars and the private schools are above the national average in fees. In a different part of the country my cousins went to private school one is in the building trade and the other a teacher, I’m not sure their private education impacted their career choices.

Depends on the school
I went , my son did two private schools
bulling was totally awful in the second one
ed was better than the local state
but not the best plan ever tbh
could if brought him a bloody house with what it cost ,
and I wouldn’t be broke without a penny for a
holiday for years or much else tbh

Yes, definitely worth it.