Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother priorities her dogs over everything.

186 replies

Angrymum198 · 27/12/2023 20:34

I feel really upset tonight and I don’t know if I am exaggerating. My mum has two rescue dogs that she absolutely dotes on. They rule her life. She can’t be out the house more than a couple of hours, she has to be at home at 3pm as that when they eat.
she doesn’t welcome anyone into her house as it upsets the dogs.
Tonight I went round her house with my three young children and husband and her dog was barking and growling at my one year old. I tried to calmly remove him from the living room and my mum went mad.
I then stormed out and left. I feel that she puts their welfare before any of her grandchildren. She has 6 other grandchildren that don’t feel welcome at her house because of these dogs.

OP posts:
Whattheheckcarer · 29/12/2023 09:46

Don't go there again - simple.

Tryingmybestadhd · 29/12/2023 10:57

I’m have a dog and a cat and barely any hairs and most certainly no smells . You are so weird !

HamBone · 29/12/2023 13:48

Hoglet70 · 29/12/2023 09:38

@BogRollBOGOF My dogs have all been very well trained, I just happen to prefer them to kids, people in general etc etc

@Hoglet70 Well it’s understandable in many ways, as most dogs are loyal and affectionate, and they can’t talk back! If you’re kind to them, they’ll love you.

Humans are far more complex and interesting.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 29/12/2023 14:03

Not read the full thread but my mum has a friend like this. Her dog was unwell and she put off her family who were coming from overseas for Christmas! So they landed in the UK with nowhere to go. Completely ridiculous in my view. It's one thing asking local family not to come over (although even then I'd think it was ludicrous for an animal) but not when people are coming a distance.

The dog wasn't throwing up everywhere or anything like that.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 29/12/2023 14:05

A well reared, adjusted, healthy dog can be left for more than an hour fgs! But if you want to live your life as a martyr that's up to you

Martyr syndrome is something many women suffer from enjoy

VeryHappyBunny · 03/05/2024 07:29

Greenpolkadot · 28/12/2023 14:05

Iv always thought the same.
Why do people think everyone should love and accept their dogs just because they do ..barmy

Show quote history

Why do you assume that everyone should love and accept other peoples kids, equally barmy. Animals give unconditional love, not love based on what pressies they get when visiting.

VeryHappyBunny · 03/05/2024 07:47

2jacqi · 28/12/2023 07:09

@Angrymum198 how long has she had the rescue dogs?? has she owned dogs before?? why has she not trained them to be used to children and other adults? she will eventually realise that all of her family have stopped coming to visit her but by then it will be too late and everyone will have moved on with their lives. what is your father saying about those dogs ruling the roost in the house? I would certainly be locking them in another room when there are children around if they cannot be trusted. what kind of dogs are they do you know.

Dogs growl to let you know they are unhappy about a situation, kids get bitten because they torment the dog, the adults do nothing when dog growls i.e. remove child.

They are rescue dogs and you don't know what happened to them before they were taken into care, so don't judge them. Why should a member of the family be put in another room, garden or shed to accommodate visitors. It is their home. We don't know how old the dogs are, if quite elderly they may be difficult to train to accept young children. If you are only going round every 6-8 weeks and the dogs are being put outside they are likely to feel a bit put out.

Are the children trained to behave in other people's houses and around the animals in those houses? Anyone who is used to a quiet home (human or animal) and that home is invaded by noisy strangers, is going to be aggrieved.

A dog baring its teeth and growling is a warning to leave them alone. Dogs and small children are never a good mix. Why can't the kids go and play in the garden and leave the dogs alone. Maybe grandma isn't as enamoured by the grandchildren as their mother thinks she should be.

Obviously the "children are our future and most important thing in the world" brigade will be horrified, but the sooner we get back to the idea that children should be seen and not heard, and in some cases not seen either, the better.

ExcitedButNervous0424 · 03/05/2024 07:50

YANBU

Some people are absolutely batshit when it comes to their dogs.

PhuckyNell · 03/05/2024 07:50

🧟‍♀️

VeryHappyBunny · 03/05/2024 11:31

All of the threads on this site, whichever you read, are from the point of view of the originator. They are unlikely to be unbiased and they believe themselves to be "not unreasonable" before they post. All they are really looking for is confirmation.

This whole thing has just become a competition between the pro and anti dog groups.

Some people will just demonise the dogs without knowing their backgrounds. At the end of the day the dogs are members of that household, albeit furry ones, and the children are the visitors. Why not train the kids to behave in other people's homes? I suspect that if they sat still the dogs wouldn't be interested in them after the initial sniff. If you get hysterical and snatch the child away it is no wonder the dogs behave as they do.

The caveat is, never leave dogs and children together, however well behaved you believe either to be. Things can go wrong very quickly, but properly supervised encounters should be encouraged as healthy.

Harrysarseinthedogbowl · 04/05/2024 12:35

VeryHappyBunny · 03/05/2024 07:47

Dogs growl to let you know they are unhappy about a situation, kids get bitten because they torment the dog, the adults do nothing when dog growls i.e. remove child.

They are rescue dogs and you don't know what happened to them before they were taken into care, so don't judge them. Why should a member of the family be put in another room, garden or shed to accommodate visitors. It is their home. We don't know how old the dogs are, if quite elderly they may be difficult to train to accept young children. If you are only going round every 6-8 weeks and the dogs are being put outside they are likely to feel a bit put out.

Are the children trained to behave in other people's houses and around the animals in those houses? Anyone who is used to a quiet home (human or animal) and that home is invaded by noisy strangers, is going to be aggrieved.

A dog baring its teeth and growling is a warning to leave them alone. Dogs and small children are never a good mix. Why can't the kids go and play in the garden and leave the dogs alone. Maybe grandma isn't as enamoured by the grandchildren as their mother thinks she should be.

Obviously the "children are our future and most important thing in the world" brigade will be horrified, but the sooner we get back to the idea that children should be seen and not heard, and in some cases not seen either, the better.

Show quote history

I have a lot of sympathy with your last point, but the 'seen and not heard' principle could usefully be applied to dogs too.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page