Mother priorities her dogs over everything.

[Angrymum198]

I feel really upset tonight and I don’t know if I am exaggerating. My mum has two rescue dogs that she absolutely dotes on. They rule her life. She can’t be out the house more than a couple of hours, she has to be at home at 3pm as that when they eat.
she doesn’t welcome anyone into her house as it upsets the dogs.
Tonight I went round her house with my three young children and husband and her dog was barking and growling at my one year old. I tried to calmly remove him from the living room and my mum went mad.
I then stormed out and left. I feel that she puts their welfare before any of her grandchildren. She has 6 other grandchildren that don’t feel welcome at her house because of these dogs.

We have a family member like this and it’s rather sad seeing the way she restricts her life to accommodate her dogs. I have a rescue and we love him to bits, but he’s not prioritized over people. He knows that he’s loved and he’s well looked after, that’s all he needs. 🤷

So because your dogs don't have the same needs a your family members you feel you have the right to decide her dogs don't either? Perhaps try and be a bit less judgemental!!!

@carerneedshelp What’s sad to see is her missing out on all sorts of things because she focuses on her dogs to such an extent, even though they’re not traumatized or reactive.
People’s needs are important as well, most dogs don’t need to be babied.

Oh fgs! It's screamingly obvious that your mother feels completely replaced and unnecessary because you have your own family and she can't handle not being needed like she was, so rescue dogs are filling the void. At some point it would be kind if you said what an amazing job she did making you feel loved and strong enough to have your own family and how you hope your children will be as confident as you are. Don't expect any miracles and definitely keep her dogs away from your children because they'll be very territorial. She misses you more than you know. Imagine your kids being too busy for you and knowing that you're being 'tolerated'. It will happen eventually I'm afraid.

This. I love mine but it's an animal.

So don't have children then To have gc you have to make the decision to have children in the first place.

@Angrymum198 how long has she had the rescue dogs?? has she owned dogs before?? why has she not trained them to be used to children and other adults? she will eventually realise that all of her family have stopped coming to visit her but by then it will be too late and everyone will have moved on with their lives. what is your father saying about those dogs ruling the roost in the house? I would certainly be locking them in another room when there are children around if they cannot be trusted. what kind of dogs are they do you know.

The unhinged 'dog people' are out in force on this thread I see..
I totally get why you are so upset. Its quite psychopathic to prefer not to upset a dog over your own grandchild being in danger.
And yes I do own a dog myself. I still think it's psychopathic to centre a dogs needs above seeing your own grandchildren.

And it's not even the dogs actual needs being centred.. just the mild idea it may be a bit sad if placed in another room temporarily
Ridiculous

I understand as well. If mine preferred dogs to their DGC, they would have no relationship with their DGC. My aunt has had dogs all her adult life but they are always put in a separate room when her DGC are there.

I don't know how old your dmum is but it seems she needs the commitment and companionship these dogs provide.
Eventually it will probably be to the detriment of you and her grandchildren as she will end up having no visitors and no help when she needs it.
I'm so sorry op. It's difficult and frustrating for you.

Your mum sounds heartless towards her own grandchildren, very messed up

I’ve said unreasonable because I don’t agree with how you handled it. Your mother is unreasonable but you can’t manhandle someone else’s dog you can only manage your own behaviour.

She is responsible for her dogs and it limits her availability. She should organise her home and life to be more accessible to her GC, but she hasn’t.

You are responsible for your toddler, and should keep him close rather than running around in your mum’s house with an unsociable untrained dog. You can ask her to put her dog away. You can keep your child on your lap. You can’t ’put her dog out’ - you don’t know the dog the way she does, she may be following behaviourists advice, you don’t get to interfere.

If you stop visiting she will see the restrictions more clearly and may make some changes.

Mines the same, if you ask her to stop it jumping up she’s terribly affronted and acts like you are attacking her as she’s done “everything she can to stop it , it just can’t be trained”. Bollocks. I’ve probably asked about three times for her to stop it jumping up and scratching my legs, last time I did she told me to not come round again if I didn’t like it and told me it’s only me it jumps up at. When my dad was dying she left him to go back home (he was in a care home) as she had to get back to the dog.

I'm afraid she has gone over to the dark side and you probably won't get her back.

@Starblind19 👏 100%

I despise dogs in every way so if my mother made it very clear that some animals were more important than her grandchildren our relationship would be very much reduced. Some people are wierdly obsessed with their pets, there's no talking to them that will resolve that.

My mother has a dog that stinks, is poorly behaved as it's spoiled, and has also nipped one of my children's face when she tried to sit down.
My mother panders to the dog and was very upset when she was told she would no longer be allowed to bring it to my house - it goes everywhere with her - even if that means sitting in the car outside a supermarket. She can't see how this isn't fair on the dog because she's obsessed with the dog.
As a result, I am low contact. None of my children want to see mother now because of the dog and she seems to think there is some other reason behind it as why on earth would being bitten by an unpredictable (medium size) dog be off putting..? 😑
Bonkers.

It's really not fine to prefer your pet dog to your grandchildren. That is bonkers.

OP your mums behaviour is awful. An adult who prioritises the needs of a pet over their grandchild has a very distorted view of the world. It's sad for you and your children but one day, it will be much sadder for her. Shes choosing not to prioritise a safe relationship with her family. You've tried, so let her live with that. You all deserve better

Dogs are NOT LIKE CHILDREN!! I hear this all the time and shudder. "Fur babies" 🤢 calling each other mummy an daddy, getting bloody Xmas cards off the dog...world has gone mad!!!!

Trouble is in this country, dogs are bloody well in charge. It's ridiculous.

Bring back the days when they were further down the social scale, where they bloody belong.

And to think cat people have the batshit reputation 😲😲😲

They are.

My mum and dad got an Xmas card from the neighbours two cats!!

Two adults, allegedly of sound mind, writing their neighbours cards from their cats, Bloody batshit!

You sound very irrationally angry towards dogs. Weird.

You sound very irrationally angry towards dogs. Weird.

Not angry at all. I just hate them.