Would you finish with this man?

wensleycam · 2023-12-27T15:10:50+00:00

He's early fifties. Divorced, bankrupt and dad to some children with whom he has a scant relationship. No home, no assets. A good job but flits from one to another when the stress gets too much. Is a hard worker but regularly unwell with colds. He is lovely. A nice person mostly but can be a Sarcastic and a little immature at times. His communication skills are awful. Has a tantrum after a disagreement, shuts down, ignores me and then expects me to come crawling back. Stubborn and a t time very self righteous . He is handsome and good in bed. Adores his family but a little too involved in my opinion. He has no hobbies or past times, just sits on the settee watching sport. Doesn't like eating out, going for drinks, family gatherings or anything that involves letting himself go. Never organises anything eg hotel break, holiday, dinners etc. He is still nice though and can be funny. Hates shopping,, hates leaving the general area he lives in and ultimately did the laziest person I've ever met . He can be generous. Also affectionate and kind mostly. Anything worth saving here ?

WhateverMate · 27/12/2023 15:12

Absolutely fuck all worth saving there.

Why would you even consider it?

EmptyYoghurtPot · 27/12/2023 15:13

What do you get out of being with him?

Sparklesocks · 27/12/2023 15:13

Adores his family but doesn’t have much of a relationship with his kids?

depends what you’re looking for. If it’s something casual/relaxed then he’s probably a fine person to have fun with, but not really suitable for a long term partner. Adults who throw tantrums are completely embarrassing in my eyes.

Teenagersscarethelivinshitoutofme · 27/12/2023 15:13

What's 'lovely' about that? You are very shallow if handsome and a good shag trumps all the horrors on that list.

ohdamnitjanet · 27/12/2023 15:14

Oh for fucks sake - there’s nothing lovely about this absolute waste of space apart from an occasional shag.

AllAroundMyCat · 27/12/2023 15:14

Sorry, not my cup of tea.

whoisjoe · 27/12/2023 15:15

What a catch! Not 😂
run!
his few good points are ones that will probably wear off once he has his claws into you

BrightGreenMoonBuggy · 27/12/2023 15:16

Good god. What an absolute catch (!)

Merryoldgoat · 27/12/2023 15:16

How the fuck is he ‘lovely’?

NO HE FUCKING ISN’T

Clarich007 · 27/12/2023 15:16

Doesn't sound worth saving to me
Too many negatives I'm afraid

BrendaMcPherson · 27/12/2023 15:16

So many contradictory statements in that description. And he doesn't sound anywhere near 'lovely' to me. Bin him off.

DaughterNo2 · 27/12/2023 15:18

Absolutely grim

Original poster

wensleycam · 27/12/2023 15:18

I am fifty. I crave a social life as I work hard and enjoy walking, eating out, theatre, cinema and holidays.
He will go along with it but clearly wants to be on said settee.
I worry I will end up as his carer and what if I want to go travelling with friends when retired ( next few years) .. will he be having tantrums as he won't be invited because I know he won't actually actively want to come along but will be miffed if not asked and left to tend to himself?
Are there men out there like me, at this age, who want similar?
Life can be lonely.

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 27/12/2023 15:19

bankrupt
dad to some children with whom he has a scant relationship.
No home
no assets.
Flits from one (job) to another when the stress gets too much.
Regularly unwell with colds.
Can be a Sarcastic
Can be a little immature
Communication skills are awful.
Has a tantrum after a disagreement, shuts down, ignores me and then expects me to come crawling back. Stubborn
Very self righteous .
A little too involved in (his family).
no hobbies or past times, just sits on the settee
Doesn't like eating out, going for drinks, family gatherings / letting himself go.
Never organises anything fun.
Hates shopping, hates leaving the general area he lives in
The laziest person I've ever met .

If you're dumping him, can I have his number pls? He sounds like a DREAM! I love a petulant man child with no imagination or drive or enthusiasm for life.

Buy a good vibrator, I'm sure it'll be better company

Mumoftwo1312 · 27/12/2023 15:20

The only positives, in that long list of negatives, are: handsome, funny and good in bed. Ime that describes the majority of men. It's not hard to be those things.

The positives most definitely do not outweigh the huge list of negatives.

Lazy, sarcastic, self righteous? No, no, no.

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 27/12/2023 15:20

Fwb but nothing else op. He has nothing else to offer really has he?

ChateauDuMont · 27/12/2023 15:20

I wouldn't cross the road to pee on him if he was on fire.

He's a MASSIVE loser.

Ponoka7 · 27/12/2023 15:21

How old are you? He'd be in the hook up/fuck buddy category for me. I'm 55, my DP's main hobby is watching sport, because he has health issues. But we do go on the odd weekend away, concerts, lunch out and have booked an abroad holiday for next year. It's important to laugh at any age. We do a lot of that, we enjoy the same films etc. The sarcasm will kill the sex side as well as dent your self esteem. The shutting down etc is emotional abuse. You'd be insane to carry this on without wanting a lot of change.

buntymcfun · 27/12/2023 15:22

N o spells NO, nothing worth saving. Yes finish with him

Coconutter24 · 27/12/2023 15:23

wensleycam · 27/12/2023 15:18

I am fifty. I crave a social life as I work hard and enjoy walking, eating out, theatre, cinema and holidays.
He will go along with it but clearly wants to be on said settee.
I worry I will end up as his carer and what if I want to go travelling with friends when retired ( next few years) .. will he be having tantrums as he won't be invited because I know he won't actually actively want to come along but will be miffed if not asked and left to tend to himself?
Are there men out there like me, at this age, who want similar?
Life can be lonely.

Don’t settle, your only 50 and I can guarantee there are plenty of men out there with similar interests to you.

Verv · 27/12/2023 15:25

wensleycam · 27/12/2023 15:18

I am fifty. I crave a social life as I work hard and enjoy walking, eating out, theatre, cinema and holidays.
He will go along with it but clearly wants to be on said settee.
I worry I will end up as his carer and what if I want to go travelling with friends when retired ( next few years) .. will he be having tantrums as he won't be invited because I know he won't actually actively want to come along but will be miffed if not asked and left to tend to himself?
Are there men out there like me, at this age, who want similar?
Life can be lonely.

My father is that man 30 years from now OP.
Run like the fucking wind. Honestly.
You'll end up in a carer role and your life will be him on the sofa moaning about shit and expecting a woman to run around after him while he does nothing.

Dont lose your life to a man like that.

Ponoka7 · 27/12/2023 15:25

wensleycam · 27/12/2023 15:18

I am fifty. I crave a social life as I work hard and enjoy walking, eating out, theatre, cinema and holidays.
He will go along with it but clearly wants to be on said settee.
I worry I will end up as his carer and what if I want to go travelling with friends when retired ( next few years) .. will he be having tantrums as he won't be invited because I know he won't actually actively want to come along but will be miffed if not asked and left to tend to himself?
Are there men out there like me, at this age, who want similar?
Life can be lonely.

There are lots of men who want similar. I met mine at 52. Don't settle for him. Approaching sixty health issues can start, you've got no years to waste on men like this. Me and my DP aren't fully compatible, but there's no issue with me going away or doing things without him.

ChateauDuMont · 27/12/2023 15:25

Divorced, bankrupt and dad to some children with whom he has a scant relationship. - BLOODY AWFUL.

No home, no assets. - LOSER.

A good job but flits from one to another when the stress gets too much. -PATHETIC.

Is a hard worker but regularly unwell with colds. - WEAKLING.

He is lovely. A nice person mostly but can be Sarcastic and a little immature at times. - A DICK.

His communication skills are awful. Has a tantrum after a disagreement, shuts down, ignores me and then expects me to come crawling back. Stubborn and a t time very self righteous . - A CUNT.

He has no hobbies or past times, just sits on the settee watching sport. Doesn't like eating out, going for drinks, family gatherings or anything that involves letting himself go.- BORING TWAT

Never organises anything eg hotel break, holiday, dinners etc. INADEQUATE

He is still nice though and can be funny.
Hates shopping,, hates leaving the general area he lives in and ultimately did the laziest person I've ever met . LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING

Anything worth saving here ? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 27/12/2023 15:26

I'd finish with him now and I don't even know him!

You know that the 'sitting on the sofa watching sport and not wanting to go anywhere, ever' gets worse with age, don't you? How he is now is BRILLIANT when you think about how he will be in four or five years...

PonyPatter44 · 27/12/2023 15:29

@ChateauDuMont that is brilliant!! Literally everything the OP is trying to interpret as a good point, debunked perfectly.

Bankrupt and 'gets colds frequently ' would have done it for me.