Would you finish with this man?

[wensleycam]

He's early fifties. Divorced, bankrupt and dad to some children with whom he has a scant relationship.
No home, no assets.
A good job but flits from one to another when the stress gets too much.
Is a hard worker but regularly unwell with colds.
He is lovely. A nice person mostly but can be a
Sarcastic and a little immature at times.
His communication skills are awful. Has a tantrum after a disagreement, shuts down, ignores me and then expects me to come crawling back. Stubborn and a t time very self righteous .
He is handsome and good in bed.
Adores his family but a little too involved in my opinion.
He has no hobbies or past times, just sits on the settee watching sport. Doesn't like eating out, going for drinks, family gatherings or anything that involves letting himself go.
Never organises anything eg hotel break, holiday, dinners etc.
He is still nice though and can be funny.
Hates shopping,, hates leaving the general area he lives in and ultimately did the laziest person I've ever met . He can be generous. Also affectionate and kind mostly.
Anything worth saving here ?

Sounds perfectly sensible to me and very likely your gut instinct is tingling for a reason.

Dont hang around any longer in this relationship he sounds awful. Intimacy may dwindle so if you remained to stave of loneliness and that happened what would he have as a positive then….. nothing …….well actually he’s have you. Hed have you and your home/money/time and so on

You are worth so much more than he can offer or wants to offer. You’ve said he’s made no changes despite you asking …..he’s therefore told you loud and clear who he is (among all the other things you mention).

You are not too old to be alone you will find company ….you are old enough though not to be knowingly taken for a mug! Go be free and alone, than together with a man like him and unhappy xx

It does not sound arrogant or obnoxious! You should value yourself highly enough to believe you deserve a good relationship. Everyone should.

@wensleycam just finish it

Finish? How did you even START with him?

His communication skills are awful. Has a tantrum after a disagreement, shuts down, ignores me and then expects me to come crawling back. Stubborn and a t time very self righteous.

Dump him for this alone. He’s emotionally abusive.

lol this is MN. Just from looking at the title of your post I could have told you that the majority of posters will reply ‘yes’.

You don’t sound arrogant or obnoxious, OP. And you’ve rightly spotted what’s in his lazy mind: I think he has me earmarked for a house and relationship in retirement.

And my God, how your life will shrink then.

You’ll be full-time unpaid carer to a boring, apathetic cocklodger, tiptoeing around his tantrums and worn down by his sarcasm and negativity. Endlessly serving his needs and his health problems. Getting nothing in return.

You’ll look back on your single life as paradise.

I hope you take a step back now. FWB or fuckbuddy is fine. Don’t go any further than that.

Better to be alone than to be with someone who drags you down like this. Being with him is preventing you from finding someone much much better. You’re worth far more than this OP.

LOL you really are selling yourself short!

You will be lonlier with him than without him.

Dump the waste of space snd get yourself a circle of friends. Volunteer in domething and get caught up in a cause.

Or get some interests and shag him on the side. Thats all he's worth.

Just end it as he isn't bringing anything into your life. The sooner the better.

@wensleycam read this, then read it again and again, and again.

I think he has me earmarked for a house and relationship in retirement Think you could be right, but are you happy to provide him with a home and a relationship?

What is it about this man that really excites you, or makes you feel positive about the future?

Your post is pretty contradictory all the way through. What on earth do you see in him?

So where would the OP have made that post and not had a resounding ‘yes’?

Set your bar higher OP. You're worth it!

Sounds a boring auld twat

😂

I finished reading the post at bankrupt 🪦

And even those virtues are likely to diminish sharply over the next ten years.

Thank you for really making me laugh

It's a big 'nope' from me as well, OP. You are worth so much more.

Women are still afraid of being alone? That’s sad. Have you ever felt lonely in a relationship OP? I have and I can tell you being alone (as I am now) is a hundred times better than being lonely in a shit relationship. I’m alone but I’m not lonely and I wouldn’t trade it for what you’ve got on offer. Have friends, have hobbies, have a f*ck buddy if you must but don’t weigh yourself down with this leaden lump.

I got serious ick when I tried to discuss a point of argument recently.
I looked at him as he behaved like a petulant child nodding along like a bold puppy when I asked him if f we could talk things out saying over and over ..'you're right, you're right, you're always right...'
That was level of his engagement in the disagreement. Refused to talk, refused to engage and pouted for rest of day. Went to ( my) bed) turned his back and then woke up Pretending no thing happened the evening before.
I was totally turned off and told
Him so. He hasnt spokeTo me since to my great relief .

If you start doing the things you're interested in, you're far more likely to meet men who like that stuff too. They're unlikely to just walk up to you in Lidl.

Er fwb at absolute most. Those shortcomings would give me the ick though, especially not having a relationship with his own children