To be so angry at how FAT my back and boobs are

[FatBack2023]

I'm raging.
I absolutely HATE my body shape.
I HATE how FAT my back gets when I gain weight.
And my neck.
And my chin.
And my abdomen.
And my BOOBS!! OMG. I'm carrying around 2 great pendulous gargantuan breasts that get more huge with every extra pound of weight I gain.
And I absolutely HATE how easily I gain weight. I put weight on thunderously fast compared to other people.
Why is this?
I basically have to sub exist on 1,200 cals a day to maintain my weight. If I go over this, my weight rapidly increases but it increases in an accelerated way. I put so much weight on so fast, it's completely disproportionate to the extra calories I eat. If I eat 2,000 cals a day for a few weeks, I gain 1 stone in weight. And my back, neck, chin, breasts and tummy BALLOON.
At the end of November, after maintaining my weight with 1,200 cals all year, the Christmas festivities began and I thought, I'm going to let myself go over 1,200 cals for the next month, and eat & drink Christmas things. So I've indulged. But I've carried on tracking (I use nutracheck) and I have stayed below 2,000 cals most days for the past month, but there have been days when I've gone up to 2,400. But interestingly, looking back at my tracking over the past month, on those days where I've gone above 2,000 cals a day, I've naturally eaten a lot less the following day without consciously thinking about it, back down to 1,500 or 1,200 for a day.
Anyway, over the past month, yes I've had mince pies. Yes I've had cake. Yes I've had trifle. Yes I've had biscuits. Wine. Roast dinners. I confess, I have indulged. But not all the time. And not everyday. I've also had home made vegetable soups and salads. And some days I've barely eaten anything. Some days I've had 1 meal only and tracked 800 cals for the whole day. I haven't just eaten Christmas foods all day every day. But yes I have had those foods over the past month. And still tracked every single thing.
And I have gained 18 POUNDS in weight in 1 month!!!!
And it's all gone on my back and boobs and chin and tummy.
I can literally grab handfuls of fat on my UPPER BACK!!
And my bra is too tight!!
And my chin has 2 pound of lard wobbling about under it when I talk!
And my tummy looks like I'm pregnant!!
But the worst thing of all is my back, it is covered in fat! My upper back fat rolls onto my lower back fat.
OMG. I look horrendous.
I feel horrendous.
Meanwhile my legs, bum, hips and arms remain completely unchanged, no extra ounce of fat anywhere on these areas.
I look like I've put a fatsuit onto my central body, like a fatsuit bodywarmer jacket, leaving my arms and legs as normal.
It's aging too....I look years older with all this extra weight.
Oh help.
How have I gained soooo much weight in only 1 month? I'm sure this isn't normal??
Why does it all go onto my back, boobs and tummy?
Why can't I eat the things other people eat??
Why have I put on 18 pounds in 1 month rather than just a few pounds?
I hate my body right now!!!
I'm 45, 5ft 7, and right now I weigh 15 stone.
1 month ago I weighed 13 stone 10.

This was really interesting - esp the fact that walking actually seems to have more impact for you than the running and cardio workouts. Or have you kept them? Anyway, I’m glad you have found what works for you (and sounds a more desirable regime to me!)

I am no PT or nutritionist OP but I expect that with running your body on 1200 calories for so long, your body has reacted by slowing your metabolism right down, making it very easy for you to gain weight, if you go over the 1200 and very difficult for you to lose the extra weight.
Check out this video on youtube. s Coach Viva
Sorry to hear that you feel so awful OP. I have also gained quite a bit of weight over the Christmas period.
I plan to lose it by eating so much sugar over NY that I can not look at a chocolate biscuit on the 2nd of Jan without feeling ill. I'll then eat a high protein diet - 30g of protein per meal if possible (protein is satiating - I am much less likely to snack or eat junk food) and go to a fitness class (body pump works best for me as I am lifting weights as well as doing cardio) three times a week for the next month. Usually does the trick!

No, I've stopped running. I found it really started hurting my knees, and I could only manage one 5km a week. Walking I can do daily....it's been transformational for me - appreciate different things work for different people though xx

1200 is far too low and unsustainable.
Are you actually eating 1200? Or are you eating 1200 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday then not logging and just fuckit until Monday rolls around again?
If you really were consistent at 1200 something is wrong.
I'm assuming you're doing some exercise too.
It's shit having to track calories but it's the only way to know. It's something you have to be precise about.
We all over estimate exercise/calories burned and underestimate calories consumed.
Up your walking? Up your protein and don't do anything drastic like cutting carbs. Eat all the things but count them. Be honest with yourself.
Strength train for long term health.

We are designed for walking!

It may be to do with the type of calories rather than the amount of calories. If I were you I would cut out all sugar, including UPF as this often contains sugar. Allow yourself one or two glasses of wine each week and cut out almost completely complex carbohydrates. Stick to veg , fish, etc. I think you’ll find some of the foods you eat are affecting your metabolism and causing inflammation.

Look at ways to increase your metabolism, increase your exercise, every little helps. Even small changes like just taking stairs instead of lifts or parking further from the shoo or work entrance.
Have you had blood tests done to check your thyroxine levels?
Are you on the pill? Certain ones can affect the way the body gains weight.

It's not the end of the world. Go see your GP. You're obsessed. Focussing on restricting calories really isn't helping you. Maybe become obsessive instead by focussing on steps? 15 stone is not unfixable. You are not unfixable. Instead of working out how to restrict yourself by limiting calories, maybe focus on how many steps you want to walk each day? The more you exercise each day, the more your overall metabollic rate increases. Spend 15 minutes of your lunchbreak walking each day. That's 27,375 extra calories a year. That's losing 8 pounds of fat per year. Just by small changes. Seriously, I haven't done it, but have seen changes in people who are doing it. They're nutters. They're walking up and down corridors or just "going out for 15 min". But it seems to be working for them. V, aged 68, has lost nearly 2 stone over the past year. I'm just watching and curious.

Based on your current weight, height and age the amount of kcal your body burns per day would be 1622, even with little exercise you’re looking at 2000 kcals a day without putting on a lot of weight. If you’re certain you’re eating 1200 a day, I would speak to the doctor as it sounds as though something else is going on.

Another thing to bear in mind is are you accurately calorie counting? A lot of people don’t could drinks and oils etc or don’t count the odd snack if it’s a ‘one off’ but it all adds up. I’m not saying this is the case for you, but a lot of people don’t reliably count calories. I’ve used the app my fitness pal in the past and it’s very easy to use as most things you can scan the barcode and it’ll add it to your calorie log for the day.

Did those calculations factor in peri/ age? ( not being combative, just genuinely questioning).

@Calliopespa I’m not aware that there’s any way to take into account being peri when calculating BMR just as there isn’t a way to take into account times of the month, post pregnancy etc, but the age has been taken into account

You need to exercise. Start with 10K steps a day and go from there.

I also struggle with my weight. I’m 5ft 7 and weigh 13st. When I put weight on it always goes on my arms!! Why? They are enormous!

I would make an appointment with the Doctor and ask for your thyroid levels to be checked. You may have an underactive thyroid gland.

That’s not niggling, just that I suspect that has quite a role in OPs situation given her age. Hormones are quite a complicated but massively impactful aspect in weight.

A mix of walking plus strength / resistance/ weight training and cutting out refined sugar and white carbs will make a massive difference.

Your body is clinging on to fat because you’ve been running a super low deficit. It needs to get its calories from the right place and use them in the right way.

@Calliopespa no of course hormones will have an impact on the amount of calories that can be consumed, but to only be eating 3/4 of the calories that her body burns just by being alive, and still gaining weight does sound like there’s a bigger issue in my opinion.

Hormones will have an impact but I wouldn’t imagine they would have so much of an impact that she would have to consume 25% less of her BMR, but I could be wrong

I don’t know either. But I definitely know people who feel their hormones play that kind of role. I think she needs to see a gp though- even if just for a hormone check.

Ahhh I feel for you. I put weight on in the same areas although also my arms. I too have put on a stone, but I haven’t exercised properly since November due to a bit of depression and sinking in a hole.
However, I started following a programme 2 years ago which is about core strength and movement blended with yoga. It tablets you core, back and tones everything building mobility and strength. Complete game changer for half an hour a day. She is called Karin Dimitriovia and her programme is called The Core Play. She has an accompanying FB group with 60,000+ on it, supportive, encouraging and all ages and body types. I have all her programmes actually and after the first month run through the changes were phenomenal. It’s not about weight, it’s about tone and a flexible, able body!
I’m 44 and will start again in January and know I’ll be feeling fabulous by February. All you need is a mat and the course is easy to follow in your own time. Good luck!! X

Perimenopause. Get yourself some HRT.

Hi

Sorry to deliver this news but you’re peri-menopausal.

its horrific, I know! 2 stone added in 6 monthswhen previously I could shift weight easily.

The only thing that worked for me was;

• cutting alcohol completely
• fasting, only eating between 11am and 7pm
• all carbs are whole grains: brown rice, brown pasta etc
• no biscuits, sweets etc. Fruit instead.
• if hungry, drink miso soup or bovril
• taking iodine to help metabolism
• combination HRT plus testosterone

I am menopausal and started this in Jan. I am 2.5 stone down.

I was very early to menopause (41) and everyone I spoke to said I was too young. I struggled for ages until I realised it was hormonal.

Speak to your GP but go in there armed with research. It was the only way I was listened to.

good luck xxx

Unfortunately your genes largely determine where you put your weight on. I have the same issue (arms and belly for me). However, as muscles take up less volume than fat, you can improve the situation massively by doing toning exercises. I do pilates, weights and aquafit. They all help. Obviously you have to lose weight as well but it does generally make your arms look better if they're toned.

I'm 5'8 and 12 and a half stone and I found the extra half a stone loss made a massive difference to the size of my arms, so if you can motivate yourself you can really make an improvement.

That's interesting about the iodine. Do you have any info about how that works and how it made a difference to you?

Hi

just a combination of what worked together and what didn’t. I was at the end of my tether for months before I hit NYE 22. Iodine in sea kelp made me feel less hungry or craving sweet food. I also feel it gave me a little more energy as in menopause you feel fatigued constantly.

But it was the combination that actually worked. Nothing is a cure all. You have to work out what suits your body, your metabolism and your lifestyle.

I am the same I maintain at 1300 calories. I am still trying to have 2 meals a day only. I only started the Christmas eating on the 23rd, as I didn't finish work til the 22nd , so on the
23rd I had: tuna salad for lunch, 2 hot dogs and 1 small slice of pizza for dinner.
24th was 2 eggs in the morning, then Mac and cheese with 2 slices of garlic bread for dinner- small bowl.

Christmas day was 2 eggs and bacon in the morning, some nibbles for lunch (1 slice of pizza, handful.of.crisps and guacamole) a very conservative plate for dinner, as in, plate was not even full, nevermind piled up (meat, broccoli, 3 baby potatoes roasted, small portion of mash,and leek gratin) tiniest slice of cake with whipped cream for supper,

Boxing day was leftovers for lunch (on a side plate to make sure I wasn't eating too much) - just meat, and 2 roast baby potatoes, broccoli and 2 small spoonfuls of mash, for dinner-half a quiche, salad and 2 handfuls of crisps,
27th eggs for breakfast then pasta Bolognese and salad for dinner,

28th- 2 eggs and half a bagel, and for dinner a wrap with 5% mince, guacamole, salad and cheese.
Alcohol wise 1 bottle of prosecco and 4 g&t over the last 6 days which is much more than usual but probably a lot less than most people would have at Christmas.
I don't think that is a lot of food , but I still feel gross and huge, I can't even get myself to step on the scales 😬