To be so angry at how FAT my back and boobs are

[FatBack2023]

I'm raging.
I absolutely HATE my body shape.
I HATE how FAT my back gets when I gain weight.
And my neck.
And my chin.
And my abdomen.
And my BOOBS!! OMG. I'm carrying around 2 great pendulous gargantuan breasts that get more huge with every extra pound of weight I gain.
And I absolutely HATE how easily I gain weight. I put weight on thunderously fast compared to other people.
Why is this?
I basically have to sub exist on 1,200 cals a day to maintain my weight. If I go over this, my weight rapidly increases but it increases in an accelerated way. I put so much weight on so fast, it's completely disproportionate to the extra calories I eat. If I eat 2,000 cals a day for a few weeks, I gain 1 stone in weight. And my back, neck, chin, breasts and tummy BALLOON.
At the end of November, after maintaining my weight with 1,200 cals all year, the Christmas festivities began and I thought, I'm going to let myself go over 1,200 cals for the next month, and eat & drink Christmas things. So I've indulged. But I've carried on tracking (I use nutracheck) and I have stayed below 2,000 cals most days for the past month, but there have been days when I've gone up to 2,400. But interestingly, looking back at my tracking over the past month, on those days where I've gone above 2,000 cals a day, I've naturally eaten a lot less the following day without consciously thinking about it, back down to 1,500 or 1,200 for a day.
Anyway, over the past month, yes I've had mince pies. Yes I've had cake. Yes I've had trifle. Yes I've had biscuits. Wine. Roast dinners. I confess, I have indulged. But not all the time. And not everyday. I've also had home made vegetable soups and salads. And some days I've barely eaten anything. Some days I've had 1 meal only and tracked 800 cals for the whole day. I haven't just eaten Christmas foods all day every day. But yes I have had those foods over the past month. And still tracked every single thing.
And I have gained 18 POUNDS in weight in 1 month!!!!
And it's all gone on my back and boobs and chin and tummy.
I can literally grab handfuls of fat on my UPPER BACK!!
And my bra is too tight!!
And my chin has 2 pound of lard wobbling about under it when I talk!
And my tummy looks like I'm pregnant!!
But the worst thing of all is my back, it is covered in fat! My upper back fat rolls onto my lower back fat.
OMG. I look horrendous.
I feel horrendous.
Meanwhile my legs, bum, hips and arms remain completely unchanged, no extra ounce of fat anywhere on these areas.
I look like I've put a fatsuit onto my central body, like a fatsuit bodywarmer jacket, leaving my arms and legs as normal.
It's aging too....I look years older with all this extra weight.
Oh help.
How have I gained soooo much weight in only 1 month? I'm sure this isn't normal??
Why does it all go onto my back, boobs and tummy?
Why can't I eat the things other people eat??
Why have I put on 18 pounds in 1 month rather than just a few pounds?
I hate my body right now!!!
I'm 45, 5ft 7, and right now I weigh 15 stone.
1 month ago I weighed 13 stone 10.

How can eating less make you put on more weight?

You don't see fat people in famines.

Depends what you mean by "less". If it's highly calorific then you don't need vast quantities to gain weight from it.

Because of the effects on hormones and whether it produces a starvation reaction where you store more food.

Some foods act on your body in different ways and are easier / harder to process (take calories from) but affect how full you feel.

The weight gain is when you get access to more food, not when you are restricting.

It's to do with efficient food processing rather than amount of food.

Eating less might make you put on MORE weight rather than lose it.

If I eat 1200 calories a day I will consistently lose 1-2lbs a week. I do not gain weight.

If I go up to 1800 calories I will slowly gain weight.

Starvation mode has been debunked. You eat less that you expend you lose weight.

Fair enough and thanks for sharing. Just proves it’s not a one size fits all and all about knowing your own body

Wow some of the diet advice here is a bit worrying.

@FatBack2023 your weight gain sounds quite rapid for someone who is generally calorie conscious. Have you considered if there might be an underlying problem? Your description sounds like cushings disease

I've just signed up for a two week trial with a diet app called "Noom" fingers crossed it'll give me a kick in the arse to drop a stone & a half before the end of Feb, think it's €109 for the time they estimate it should take me to reach my target, but I'll see how the trial goes before I commit

Have you tried fasting? I do 18/6 and can't physically manage the amount of calories in that time frame to put on weight. 6-8 of it is already done while you sleep.

Well after an 800 cal day yesterday, I lost .3 of a kilo! I'm pleased with that. I will have a normal day today (1400, my maintaing amount) and do another 800 cal day tomorrow so I don't metabolically adapt to 800 cals per day.

Muscles feel a bit tight after my 16 minute standing abs routine ystrdy, but I'll do it again.

Let us know if it's worth the money in yr opinion. I feel I can do it on my own if I decide to. But determination can vary from week to week.

I do fasting from time to time and I could easily consume the amount of calories I need to put on weight which is about 1700-1800. That's one pizza and a glass of wine!

So I have to still 'diet' when fasting.

We are not in famine. We are in a time of abundance primarily an abundance of high carb/high sugar foods.

To say famine adaptation has been debunked leaves out the second half of the story, the inevitable follow up period.

Nobody thinks that starving yourself makes you fat, but we have to be aware that before bodies starve, they ADAPT to survive on fewer calories. And then when the inevitable end of restriction ends what was once your maintaining weight number of calories is now a number that will lead to weight gain.

This second chapter hasn't been studied. How do people react to more food after a "famine"? To what degree has the body adapted? Does it affect our lizard brain? Are we getting signals to lay down fat in case there's another "famine"?

I'm definitely not saying don't bother or don't try, but it requires research as well as willpower. In jan/Feb of last year I was losing NOTHING on 1200 per day so I upped my cals gradually to 1400 per day, still avoiding high carb or sugar foods. I upped cals with nuts. I did not put on wright to my relief.

After a year of research I know that my body only needs 1400 worth of good food per day.

So my plan is to do 800 maybe every second day. Or every third day after initial burst of efforts.

Just a friendly word of warning to people who believe that their body won't adapt to fewer and fewer calories with every passing diet and every passing decade. Maybe it's partly age, but the body is smart.

I was looking in to reverse dieting and zig zag dieting last Jan/Feb after my 1200 per day diet did not work!! My body was like, well, you chose well, eggs, tuna, tomatoes, chickpeas, nuts so thanks, but as body not hungry, body won't be letting go of fat stores thanks and goodbye".

I've lost 7 kilos since I upped cals to 1400 last February. I am hoping to lose a few more still, fingers crossed, to get to my goal. Not there yet.

It ain't easy but I'm practicing maintaining. The middle path. Stop the pendulum always heading with great momentumvtowards impressive liss or shockingly quick gain.

I will! I've never signed for anything like this before so hopefully it'll help me make some change, I'll report back in two weeks.. good luck 💪

I've worked out from meticulous tracking that I need to eat 4,000 calories less than maintenance to lose 1lb of weight.

But I only need to eat 1,800 calories 'extra' to gain 1lb.

The 3,500 loss/gain is just an average and is not true for everyone!

My trick to maintain is low carb, high protein. It's the only way I can ensure I'm satisfied and don't gain weight.

It's so annoying!

Over 24hrs since OP posted asking for advice, yet hasn't been back.

High protein diets are not good for you long term though - in animal studies - increased protein leads to kidney hypertrophy.

Ugh, that's nothing. I'm so fat it looks like I've got boobs ON MY BACK

She has. She thanked me so she’s quietly absorbing. There are a lot of posts to absorb in fairness, and much of it isn’t really specific to her situation now.

Yes that’s true. I didn’t want to weigh in ( pun intended!) on the cut carb discussion because when things are working for people ( and from what I hear it does work for a short term window) it’s disheartening to head the downsides. But it really is intended as a short term fix with plenty of complex carbs being added back as part of the maintenance. I know that because a friend who lost lots on it initially has now been told she has done it too long and must reintroduce complex carb. ( no need for the processed kind). They have loads of nutrients (B vitamins I think but you’d have to check for yourself) and fibre that is hard to get from veg only over the longer term. The truth is weight loss is hard and complicated. Once people are in the predicament, it isn’t as simple as eat less move more for everyone. That’s how whole industries have grown up round the problem.

In the same op.

Starvation mode is a myth and has been disproven thousands of times over. Ignore all of that.

The quality of the calories does matter. Eating processed food will make you much worse off and mess with other functions like hormones and hunger regulation. Salt isn't as bad for you as they used to think years ago. Neither is fat.

Different diets work for different people and low carb, no carb, fasting, omad, calorie counting etc are all valid approaches. It is not one alsize fits all. I find it easy to fast, if I skip breakfast I don't get hungry for example. But as I dislike meat I struggle with low carb if I attempt it long term.

You won't maintain a diet that is unsustainable to you so don't judge yourself and believe yourself to be at fault if you attempt a diet and can't maintain it. I do keto occasionally and inevitably fall off with wagon, I don't beat myself up because it's just not a diet that suits me. I can fast daily and feel fine.

Fibre is really important and nobody mentions it enough when talking about diets. High fibre foods add roughage and make you feel full. It makes things move through your digestive system smoothly.

If you eat in the morning, especially carbs or high sugar foods and drinks it will make you hungry all day as when your blood sugar falls it causes the body to produce grehlin the hunger hormone.

I often have a bowl of home made vegetable soup (I use stir fry vegetabkes and make a miso broth) with my meal in the evening and a much smaller plate of 'normal' food. That way it doesn't make me feel like I'm missing out on tasty things but means that I'm filling up on nutrient dense food that is high in fibre.

Omelettes are great low carb meals.

Bread, beer and wine are all essentially sugar and will make you gain weight very quickly. White carbohydrates are generally something most people need to cut down on.

I agree with @Anotherparkingthread about fibre but to say starvation mode has been debunked is only half the story. How do we react to food after restriction, does our metabolism prepare for another "famine" , does our body tell us we are more hungry on the same amount of food so that we'll lay down fat stores for the next "famine" ? These are the questions.

But whether or not people want to believe it's a myth or not, I've had better results since I upped my calories. When my body has got used to 1400 cals and settled at a weight, I do a few alternative days at 800, lose a bit, wait, lose a bit, wait. It ain't quick but it's better than constantly swinging between two extremes, or a goal and a "fuck it"

Interesting that high protein is bad for you in the long term, I got down to lowest weight since I was about 14 doing keto, but I couldn't sustain it. I love vegetables. I felt like I had an eating disorder restricting vegetables, so not doing that anymore.

My body is a highly efficient machine - for putting on fat with minimal calories. So I sympathise, OP.
However, I do manage to stay in good shape by exercising, eating about 1800 cals a day of good food, no junk, no processed. I do have treat days at Xmas, birthdays etc, but these are days, not months!

It is really frustrating. I never had any issues with weight, but got it just seemed to accumulate post kids and became (seemingly) impossible to shift when I hit Perimenopause. I used to do high intensity cardio workouts, running and was quite sensible with my eating.

Then, instead of running, I started walking 4/5km every morning after dropping the kids off and before work - mainly for mental health. I walk really briskly and do the hilly 4km in about 45 mins. I delay breakfast until 11am, usually skip lunch and eat a normal tea. Ive stopped snacking in the evening but still drink wine 4 or 5 evenings a week.

Anyway, I lost 3 stone over a year and it's stayed off. I started my new routine for mental health more than anything - I can't do without my daily walk anymore. Even when I'm in the office, I park a couple of miles away and walk the rest.

It really is just moving more and eating less. I'm going to start resistance training this year, as I think strength will be the thing I need more as I get older.

Best of luck though, it's really shitty getting older.