To be so angry at how FAT my back and boobs are

[FatBack2023]

I'm raging.
I absolutely HATE my body shape.
I HATE how FAT my back gets when I gain weight.
And my neck.
And my chin.
And my abdomen.
And my BOOBS!! OMG. I'm carrying around 2 great pendulous gargantuan breasts that get more huge with every extra pound of weight I gain.
And I absolutely HATE how easily I gain weight. I put weight on thunderously fast compared to other people.
Why is this?
I basically have to sub exist on 1,200 cals a day to maintain my weight. If I go over this, my weight rapidly increases but it increases in an accelerated way. I put so much weight on so fast, it's completely disproportionate to the extra calories I eat. If I eat 2,000 cals a day for a few weeks, I gain 1 stone in weight. And my back, neck, chin, breasts and tummy BALLOON.
At the end of November, after maintaining my weight with 1,200 cals all year, the Christmas festivities began and I thought, I'm going to let myself go over 1,200 cals for the next month, and eat & drink Christmas things. So I've indulged. But I've carried on tracking (I use nutracheck) and I have stayed below 2,000 cals most days for the past month, but there have been days when I've gone up to 2,400. But interestingly, looking back at my tracking over the past month, on those days where I've gone above 2,000 cals a day, I've naturally eaten a lot less the following day without consciously thinking about it, back down to 1,500 or 1,200 for a day.
Anyway, over the past month, yes I've had mince pies. Yes I've had cake. Yes I've had trifle. Yes I've had biscuits. Wine. Roast dinners. I confess, I have indulged. But not all the time. And not everyday. I've also had home made vegetable soups and salads. And some days I've barely eaten anything. Some days I've had 1 meal only and tracked 800 cals for the whole day. I haven't just eaten Christmas foods all day every day. But yes I have had those foods over the past month. And still tracked every single thing.
And I have gained 18 POUNDS in weight in 1 month!!!!
And it's all gone on my back and boobs and chin and tummy.
I can literally grab handfuls of fat on my UPPER BACK!!
And my bra is too tight!!
And my chin has 2 pound of lard wobbling about under it when I talk!
And my tummy looks like I'm pregnant!!
But the worst thing of all is my back, it is covered in fat! My upper back fat rolls onto my lower back fat.
OMG. I look horrendous.
I feel horrendous.
Meanwhile my legs, bum, hips and arms remain completely unchanged, no extra ounce of fat anywhere on these areas.
I look like I've put a fatsuit onto my central body, like a fatsuit bodywarmer jacket, leaving my arms and legs as normal.
It's aging too....I look years older with all this extra weight.
Oh help.
How have I gained soooo much weight in only 1 month? I'm sure this isn't normal??
Why does it all go onto my back, boobs and tummy?
Why can't I eat the things other people eat??
Why have I put on 18 pounds in 1 month rather than just a few pounds?
I hate my body right now!!!
I'm 45, 5ft 7, and right now I weigh 15 stone.
1 month ago I weighed 13 stone 10.

Thank you to everyone who has replied sympathetically and constructively.
I will read up on menopause weight gain, PCOS and insulin resistance. And I'm interested to learn more about metabolic issues, which a PP mentioned.
And I'll book a GP appointment, and I think I'll ask for a second opinion on the hormone testing.
Thank you.xx

I don’t know why it was deleted. I wasnt crude or rude and it didn’t say anything I haven’t said in the other posts. It said I’m amazed people are still trying to help you when your responses are horrible.
and the point I have made is that I want being patronising. You are. I read your posts and asked a question because you literally said you’d drank alcohol and you did it mention drinks in your calculations. You are finding this difficult to believe but I and everyone else on this thread that you’ve been horrible to were trying to help you.
im amazed given your repeated nasty and patronising responses that you still have so many people trying to help you.

Thank you.X

This is really interesting, thank you. How did you treat your insulin resistance, and how did you find out you have insulin resistance?xx

I will do.
Thank you.
I thought HRT made women gain weight though...am I wrong? I fully admit I don't know much about it.
I'm really interested in you explaining that low oestrogen exacerbates insulin resistance! I'm off to read up about that!xx

I also thought that HRT made you gain weight and perhaps it does for some people, it's all so personal, but I only began to lose the weight after I went on HRT. But it's hard to know for certain as that was the same period where I had been upping my cal intake by about 50 every 3 or 4 days til I got to 1400.

I actually find that do-able as I'm not a big wine drinker. I'm only 156cm so I guess this is the efficiency of my body, it can tick along merrily on 1400 cals of real food and I'm not hungry but I'm still not the race horse I long to be

I think that Mindy Pelz and Becky Gilaspy (both doctors, or both claim to be, it's youtube!) have good videos explaining why it's harder but not impossible when your oestrogen levels fall.

Or maybe - keep complex carbohydrates and remove simple carbohydrates.
Resistant starch, for once, is an excellent thing to have in the diet from the gut health perspective. Cold boiled potatoes, although not very glamorous, are the unsung superfood here.

Yes and apparently letting them go cold then reheating is better for you

It is science OP. That's why people are saying you're underestimating what you're having or overestimating what you're burning. Because most likely you must be.

You could ask your GP for more tests as to why you might be gaining weight I guess.

@FatBack2023 Maybe try ozempic? I found it quite good but you have to try and avoid going back to old habits once you stop.

I haven’t gained any weight on HRT. I thought menopause made you more susceptible to weight gain rather than HRT. This has been a very interesting thread though. I hope you find some answers, and good luck.

6It may be to do with the type of calories rather than the amount of calories. If I were you I would cut out all sugar, including UPF as this often contains sugar. Allow yourself one or two glasses of wine each week and cut out almost completely complex carbohydrates. Stick to veg , fish, etc. I think you’ll find some of the foods you eat are affecting your metabolism and causing inflammation.
^

Calories is calories when it comes to weight loss- i.e where they come from doesn't matter for the equation.

But some things like making sure to include complex carbs, protein, and healthy fats can make it easier to stick to a food plan and not be overly hungry. Abbey Sharp comes up with some good Hunger Crushing Combos https://www.abbeyskitchen.com/category/recipes/hunger-crushing-combos/

I wish people will stop hanging on about upping protein. Many people, including those with insulin probs are at risk of gluconeogenesis. Fibre is key - hitting the recommended daily amount of 30g with the bulk being viscous fibre. And avoiding simple carbs.
Op, I believe you. Could you share a couple of days diary? Maybe there’s an easy fix.

...

Sorry ExpatAI
I'm just in the middle of trying to work out how to cut and paste my nutracheck daily diary onto here.....I'm not very good at it!

Metabolical by Dr Robert Lustig is your best bet for explaining all of the metabolic interactions likely at play. It is extremely complex.

It is a book but I go the audible version. It was excellent. A friend who is a researcher in this area in a medical school recommended the cold water swimming and intermittent fasting as the two best ways to look at resetting your metabolism now. Also no UPTs. I have had to look into this a lot because I gained so much weight during peri and covid.

That's very interesting, thank you for sharing this. I will order this book and read it! Thank you.x

Why "at risk"? Gluconeogenesis is a natural process, happening in absolutely all people and animals. Your body needs some glucose to function, there are some parts that just cannot use anything else for fuel. The critical difference is that gluconeogenesis is a demand-driven process, even for metabolically impaired people it is impossible to produce surplus glucose in this way. It is a good thing.

One of the things I would say about a protein heavy diet is the bad breath!! Phoooweee! I didn’t know if they were aware of it or not 😒

I'm trying but I'm not clever enough to post a screenshot of my nutracheck diary, I just can't figure out how to do it.

So for those who have asked, copying straight from my diary, here are 2 days from mid November, and this is how I eat daily:

Breakfast - nothing. Not starving myself, just have no appetite upon waking.
Lunch - 1 tin mackerel in tomato, 60g romaine lettuce, 100g ccumber, 6 cherry tomatoes, 2 balls of beetroot, 2 tablespoons balsamic dressing.
Dinner: 160g chicken breast, 2 balls beetroot, 5 olives, 110g full fat coleslaw, 50g emmantal cheese. Large apple.
2 litres water throughout day.
Total 1,215 cals.

Breakfast - nothing, as above.
Lunch - 2 hard boiled eggs, 60g red onion, 100g grated courgette, 75g fresh cut good quality lean ham from butchers, 50g cucumber, 80g tomato, 80g lettuce, 15mls french dressing, 25g emmantal cheese.
Snack: 90g satsuma, 30g cherries.
Dinner: 150g chicken breast, 195g avocado, 115g mushrooms, 80g lettuce, 50g cucumber, 85g tomatoes, 15ml French dressing.
Large apple.
2 litres water throughout day.
Total 1,243 cals.

Over the past month, days have been as above but with a mince pie with friends mid afternoon, or a sugary pudding at home in the evening, or a slice of Christmas cake at someone's house whom I'm visiting, or roses chocolates whilst at work that have been put out for Christmas, etc. Not all of these on the same day I hasten to add!! These are examples of different days. Plus some added starch at dinners such as roast potatoes with my roast chicken over this week for Christmas dinners, and selection of vegetables and gravy at dinners instead of salad. Please see my first post for examples of calorie intake on different days over the past month.

As I said, for those with issues such as insulin resistant, metabolic syndrome, overweight, it is not a good thing and dieters unwittingly sabotage themselves.

But isn't that what happens when people are on keto? (I'm not) so if it works well in those circumstances why is it sabotaging to the rest of us?

It's a while since I studied all this, but your body doesn't generate glucose from protein or fat unless it needs to. It's the body being extremely efficient.

Dr. Google says about PCOS "That extra insulin promotes fat storage and increases hunger"

the extra hunger part is irrelevant to the often told story on MN, where people insist that they chronically only consume (eg) 1200 kcal/day and maintain a body size of say, 70 kg on that energy intake. The story usually involves a fair amount of daily activity, too.

So what those those posters are saying is that they literally do not need many calories at all, that's what PCOS means. So I think they must hold the secret to solving world hunger, if that's true. And they save a lot of money, all the food they don't need to buy. This sounds really cool.

It is a good thing for everyone, and especially those with insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome.

Look, I think you’re confused. Protein and fats are considered key to weight loss but healthy fats are the highest calorie macronutrient. Couple that with metabolic syndrome or insulin resistance & gluconeogenesis resistance and it’s difficult to lose. As I said fibre is key. Not just for weight loss but for protection of organs, the brain.
if weight loss is required with keto the amount of protein must be low too. Calories must be restricted generally.