To be so angry at how FAT my back and boobs are

[FatBack2023]

I'm raging.
I absolutely HATE my body shape.
I HATE how FAT my back gets when I gain weight.
And my neck.
And my chin.
And my abdomen.
And my BOOBS!! OMG. I'm carrying around 2 great pendulous gargantuan breasts that get more huge with every extra pound of weight I gain.
And I absolutely HATE how easily I gain weight. I put weight on thunderously fast compared to other people.
Why is this?
I basically have to sub exist on 1,200 cals a day to maintain my weight. If I go over this, my weight rapidly increases but it increases in an accelerated way. I put so much weight on so fast, it's completely disproportionate to the extra calories I eat. If I eat 2,000 cals a day for a few weeks, I gain 1 stone in weight. And my back, neck, chin, breasts and tummy BALLOON.
At the end of November, after maintaining my weight with 1,200 cals all year, the Christmas festivities began and I thought, I'm going to let myself go over 1,200 cals for the next month, and eat & drink Christmas things. So I've indulged. But I've carried on tracking (I use nutracheck) and I have stayed below 2,000 cals most days for the past month, but there have been days when I've gone up to 2,400. But interestingly, looking back at my tracking over the past month, on those days where I've gone above 2,000 cals a day, I've naturally eaten a lot less the following day without consciously thinking about it, back down to 1,500 or 1,200 for a day.
Anyway, over the past month, yes I've had mince pies. Yes I've had cake. Yes I've had trifle. Yes I've had biscuits. Wine. Roast dinners. I confess, I have indulged. But not all the time. And not everyday. I've also had home made vegetable soups and salads. And some days I've barely eaten anything. Some days I've had 1 meal only and tracked 800 cals for the whole day. I haven't just eaten Christmas foods all day every day. But yes I have had those foods over the past month. And still tracked every single thing.
And I have gained 18 POUNDS in weight in 1 month!!!!
And it's all gone on my back and boobs and chin and tummy.
I can literally grab handfuls of fat on my UPPER BACK!!
And my bra is too tight!!
And my chin has 2 pound of lard wobbling about under it when I talk!
And my tummy looks like I'm pregnant!!
But the worst thing of all is my back, it is covered in fat! My upper back fat rolls onto my lower back fat.
OMG. I look horrendous.
I feel horrendous.
Meanwhile my legs, bum, hips and arms remain completely unchanged, no extra ounce of fat anywhere on these areas.
I look like I've put a fatsuit onto my central body, like a fatsuit bodywarmer jacket, leaving my arms and legs as normal.
It's aging too....I look years older with all this extra weight.
Oh help.
How have I gained soooo much weight in only 1 month? I'm sure this isn't normal??
Why does it all go onto my back, boobs and tummy?
Why can't I eat the things other people eat??
Why have I put on 18 pounds in 1 month rather than just a few pounds?
I hate my body right now!!!
I'm 45, 5ft 7, and right now I weigh 15 stone.
1 month ago I weighed 13 stone 10.

😄 but the twelve days of Christmas starts on Christmas Day, not at the end of November!

😂 Well yes.

Ok, 12 days.
Although I suspect when this originated the idea wasn’t to sit around watching TV when you weren’t feasting

Yep it's the only thing tbh. When you've built your muscle, you will have to eat more than 1200 cals.

You can fuck around with fasting and low carb bollocks as the holy grail but if you like grub, weights is the only thing that can accommodate it.

Go to a gym and use the lats machine, leg press, chest press and rowing machine. This has made a difference to me.

Are you this angry with your body all the time or has something happened that's upset you?

I'm exactly the same as you OP, my weight piles on in all the same areas as you, unless I stick to about 1300 calories a day. It's so depressing. And yes, that's with lots of exercise and the gym.

I am 5ft 6” and weigh 10.7 stone currently, still have a lot of weight to lose, I was really struggling to lose weight after a holiday abroad. The only thing that worked for me was to reduce carbs. I don’t do keto but I reduce carbs significantly and drink lots of water, no alcohol or only the odd glass of a cocktail or wine on the weekend. I also have the same problem of back fat and fat on my face when I gain weight. I have found for me when I am within BMI the range is 18-25, then my body allows me to eat quite a bit without gaining weight. But as soon as I am above BMI, I develop insulin resistance and gain weight easily even if I eat only marginally more. So first aim to get in healthy BMI range and then you should actually be able to eat a reasonable quantity of food, but for some time you will have to really cut food intake to see the scale move. Also don’t go too low cal as it is not sustainable and your body will think you are going into starvation mode and hang on to all the fat. Also try to do 10K steps minimum a day and at least 30 mins of exercise. I find using weights and doing combination exercises the most efficient. Like jumping jacks while holding small weights( dumbbells)in your hands. So for diet as an example, I do two egg whites in an omelette with onions and mushrooms for breakfast and a big glass of water with ice and lemon. For lunch chicken breast or fish with salad. Another huge beer mug of water with lemon. Drink the water before you eat. Then for dinner I eat carbs with my meal but that would be a small portion like half a cup of cooked rice, vegetable and chicken curry. You can tweak diet as per food you like but avoid red meat, too much fat and stick to lean white meat like chicken, turkey, fish. And most important sleep 8 hrs at night! All the best, you’ve got this!

You say you maintain in 1200.

Some days you've had 2400, so double that.

You then seem put out that you drop to 1200 for a day, or even 800 for a day, and that hasn't counteracted the days you've eaten 2x maintenance calories. The maths doesn't add up.

You need to burn 3500 more calories than you eat to lose just 1lb.

There's also water retention from extra salt etc if this food isn't your "normal" type of diet.

Your TDEE is way higher than 1200 according to the online calculators, so double check everything you input into apps. A friend of mine bought some lucozade and without looking closely just input 1x lucozade. But the 500ml bottle was actually 2 portions (!) so he was actually drinking 2x the calories he thought.

Do you track your macros or just calories?

I got a PT in September, and she's pushed me to eat way more protein. I'm not as hungry on the same amount of calories and I'm building muscle through 2x week weight training. My body weight is the same but I'm not as soft. I can feel the muscle in my thighs and upper back.

Start small to build habits - I pushed myself to walk 5000 steps every day, now I'm at 7000 steps daily plus 30 minutes running once a week and my two gym sessions. I bought a walking pad so I don't have to go out in the rain/dark.

If I'd started at 10k steps a day, I'd have failed. Look at your start point, change one thing at a time.

To be honest with you, I don't think your situation is unique it is hard to maintain weight when everything on TV, in movies etc. is orientated towards eating.

I would only be angry with the people that seem to take it as their mission to shovel high calorie food down your throat throughout the Christmas period. That could be work colleagues, friends family and the media.

I am your height and in my fifties. I am 10.5 stone. If I ate like that over a month, I would put on weight too. I have indulged over Xmas, but only for 3 days.

You say "why can't I eat things other people eat". But the fact is most people can't eat like that past 40. Perhaps you see them eating like that sometimes, but not all the time. You can't outrun a bad diet, or at least I can't.

I know the above sounds smug, but I don't know any other way of putting it.

I'm 5' 2 and 8stone 10 and I struggle to stick at 1500 calories. That's maintain weight for me. Under 1800 cals is hard for anyone simply because of portion size and sheer lack of quantity it is.

1200 cals a day is extreme and probably bordering on dangerous and will be part of the problem. At 13stone 10 you shouldn't really be going less than about 1400 cal a day.

Not only that but going that hard will mess up your metabolism as your body will go into starvation mood and will automatically store as much as it can when it has extra as a result. So you will put on weight quicker. It's totally counter productive to do.

Losing weight slower, and changing what you eat avoiding sugar, too many white carbs - but not going carb free and ultra processed food will help.

It's about changing your diet and making better choices more than extreme dietary restriction.

I second this 100%. I have a feeling that those telling the OP to eat more calories are not menopausal (I am and have noticed such a difference in the amount that I can eat).

Btw the above min of 1400 calories is based on doing no exercise. Even if you walk three times a week that quickly rises. Which makes that 1200 sound even more extreme.

I thought that the whole 'starvation mode' was thoroughly debunked now?

I was thinking this. I bet her hips, bum and legs are absolutely to die for, and yours too.

Agree with this.

Most skinny people in their 40s are not eating 2,400 calories a day and indulging in unhealthy food all the time. It’s about moderation, and I think a whole month of a Christmassy diet is quite a lot.

OP, it is near physically impossible to put on 18 pounds in 30 days if you stayed at under 2K average daily calorie intake. That's 2K surplus OVER your 2K maintenance level, every day. Either there's a blind spot somewhere in your tracking (e.g. calories in soft drinks or alcohol, Baileys are my personal festive downfall), or there's something else going on such as massive water retention due to health issues.
It is good you're angry. Anger can be very constructive when channeled properly.

Your title mentioned your boobs and back fat . Please get measured for a supportive, well fitting bra . It will flatter your body . Your back fat may be displaced breast tissue

OP, I would see how much drops off once you return to a less feast-based diet: water retention due to due to high salt can make a big difference .

It might also be worth checking with your GP to see if you have any thyroid or other issues.

Otherwise up your excercise, up your strength building (weights) and eat healthy fresh food.

@Lalalanding will probably sound like a thickie but where do you go cold water swimming? The sea?

Having re read you post it does sound like it was your decision to "let go" in November. I think you should have tried as much as possible to stick to 1200kcal over Christmas, despite people trying to have tempt you. If you do end of November start of Jan as cheat time, that is nearly 10% of the year.

Though maybe if you did a couple of fast days, quite a bit of the added weight would come off.

I don't know if this sounds extreme, but the fact is we don't need as many calories in meno or peri as we think we do. I looked at portion sizes, and realised I was eating at least thrice what I needed to be eating, especially rice ( because I am Asian).

It's not just about calories those. It's about where those calories come from and other hormones that regulate metabolism.

If you restrict your diet too heavily it messes with your metabolism - and the effect is stronger if you are menopausal.

Thus it's not just about calories, it's about spending those calories wisely.

The same amount of calories in white ultra processed carbs act differently to those in more unrefined wholegrain carbs.

You need to look at your omega 3 and omega 6 intake.

You need to look at your fibre intake.

It gets more complex basically.

But extreme starvation type diets cause their own problems the second you drop off them because your body is programmed to put on weight immediately.

The problem is that people who consistently calorie check have a bad relationship with food and then go all out at Christmas, Birthdays, Holidays and any other time they feeL like they deserve a treat for whatever reason or excuse they can find.