To be so angry at how FAT my back and boobs are

[FatBack2023]

I'm raging.
I absolutely HATE my body shape.
I HATE how FAT my back gets when I gain weight.
And my neck.
And my chin.
And my abdomen.
And my BOOBS!! OMG. I'm carrying around 2 great pendulous gargantuan breasts that get more huge with every extra pound of weight I gain.
And I absolutely HATE how easily I gain weight. I put weight on thunderously fast compared to other people.
Why is this?
I basically have to sub exist on 1,200 cals a day to maintain my weight. If I go over this, my weight rapidly increases but it increases in an accelerated way. I put so much weight on so fast, it's completely disproportionate to the extra calories I eat. If I eat 2,000 cals a day for a few weeks, I gain 1 stone in weight. And my back, neck, chin, breasts and tummy BALLOON.
At the end of November, after maintaining my weight with 1,200 cals all year, the Christmas festivities began and I thought, I'm going to let myself go over 1,200 cals for the next month, and eat & drink Christmas things. So I've indulged. But I've carried on tracking (I use nutracheck) and I have stayed below 2,000 cals most days for the past month, but there have been days when I've gone up to 2,400. But interestingly, looking back at my tracking over the past month, on those days where I've gone above 2,000 cals a day, I've naturally eaten a lot less the following day without consciously thinking about it, back down to 1,500 or 1,200 for a day.
Anyway, over the past month, yes I've had mince pies. Yes I've had cake. Yes I've had trifle. Yes I've had biscuits. Wine. Roast dinners. I confess, I have indulged. But not all the time. And not everyday. I've also had home made vegetable soups and salads. And some days I've barely eaten anything. Some days I've had 1 meal only and tracked 800 cals for the whole day. I haven't just eaten Christmas foods all day every day. But yes I have had those foods over the past month. And still tracked every single thing.
And I have gained 18 POUNDS in weight in 1 month!!!!
And it's all gone on my back and boobs and chin and tummy.
I can literally grab handfuls of fat on my UPPER BACK!!
And my bra is too tight!!
And my chin has 2 pound of lard wobbling about under it when I talk!
And my tummy looks like I'm pregnant!!
But the worst thing of all is my back, it is covered in fat! My upper back fat rolls onto my lower back fat.
OMG. I look horrendous.
I feel horrendous.
Meanwhile my legs, bum, hips and arms remain completely unchanged, no extra ounce of fat anywhere on these areas.
I look like I've put a fatsuit onto my central body, like a fatsuit bodywarmer jacket, leaving my arms and legs as normal.
It's aging too....I look years older with all this extra weight.
Oh help.
How have I gained soooo much weight in only 1 month? I'm sure this isn't normal??
Why does it all go onto my back, boobs and tummy?
Why can't I eat the things other people eat??
Why have I put on 18 pounds in 1 month rather than just a few pounds?
I hate my body right now!!!
I'm 45, 5ft 7, and right now I weigh 15 stone.
1 month ago I weighed 13 stone 10.

How much activity (daily steps) and exercise (cardio & weights) do you do?
Your body needs to be kept moving to be healthy.

I was just like you, OP, down to existing on 1,200 cals per day. I fucked up my metabolism. I stopped with the calorie counting for a few years, got podgier then I liked, then went back to a clean(ish) diet of 1600-1700 calories and am the slimmest I've ever been with the least effort. Years ago, I'd have scoffed at the notion of eating more/losing more. My weight gain over festive periods is far less too and normalises really quickly alongside my diet normalising.

For me, this is an age thing. Never ever even thought about it til mid-thirties, and until my 50s I could still lose weight relatively easily. Now it is nigh on impossible and merely glancing at food puts it on. I've bought some nice new clothes and made myself feel good about myself. Do that for starters, and then in your own time, when you are ready, make changes for a healthier diet and moderate exercise, or don't, but at least you will feel good and look nice. I wear a shapewear all in one and it's fab (no bra) and I think I look fine, nice hair, smile, don't start being disgusted by your perfectly normal body that functions well.

You have a lot going on there. You could ask your GP to refer you to a dietitian for support and advice.

Get your thyroid checked.

also your gut health has a lot to do with weight gain / metabolism. I’ve also cut out all processed foods, seed oils, emulsifiers, all that crap and no longer need to calorie count. Everything cooked from scratch, but big portions.

Everything from a packet contains processed foods, so it takes some commitment to cut them entirely, but the health benefits are unbelievable.

still have treats, cake etc just make it myself.

This seems to be a very disproportional amount of weight to be gained in a month, compared to what you've consumed. Coupled with this peculiar weight distribution pattern, where your torso, back, breasts, face increase in size, whereas your limbs are unchanged, I'd check with your doctor.

Have you noticed your skin to be more prone to bruising or getting stretch marks, or have had high blood pressure? Are you on any medication?

Someone writes that they hate their body and we immediately rush in with diet tips & anecdotes about how they're slim 🤷🏼‍♀️

It's so dysfunctional.

We have one body, til death do us part. And bottom line, we should care for that body like you care for someone you love.

If caring for it means deviating from 1200 calories to get the nutrients & energy we need to maintain muscle & bone mass and have the energy to exercise, so be it. Yep, you might be slightly fatter but you're less likely to get osteoporosis in old age.
In the same way, you probably wouldn't let your child eat junk food, chocolate & cheese and sit on the sofa for a month, so why would you do that to yourself?

There is no easy answer OP. Sorry.
But I just find these threads so unhealthy & it makes me sad to hear anyone be so unkind to themselves.
You dont need to hate your body because of some unwanted fat cells in the wrong place. Caring for yourself will probably get you into a much better place, physically & mentally.

I’m the same but at 5ft 1. I can and have lost a couple of stone. At my heaviest now and feel crap, so new year new diet and determined to get 1.5 stone off

It sounds like you need to increase your RMR ( the rate of calories you burn while resting). You can do this most easily through building up muscle.

Are you doing other moderate exercise, like walking? Do you eat enough protein? Do you combine carbs and protein to avoid insulin spikes? Do you sleep enough? How is your gut biome? Do you eat things like kimchi, kombucha etc.

All these things can help.

Same has happened to me. I'm 5'3 and gone from 48kg to 52kg.

Which has distributed 2 inches to my previous 18cm upper thigh.

One inch to each upper arm.

2 inches to my hips.

My stomach is about an extra inch.

I can feel it all rubbing and my legs clap. Eurgh.

It won't stop unless I stop, and I all i have done for a month is stay inside my nice warm house and eat shit!

@MahShinyShoes hit the nail on the head there!

My first thought is I wonder if you’re eating enough as our bodies can cling onto weight even more if we aren’t. Women are supposed to have 2000 cals a day and you’re only having 1200 - 1500.

I’m also wondering if you have a medical condition? My friend discovers she has issues that make her retain weight - think it’s her thyroid.

Sounds like pcos

Weight train. Raise you basal metabolic rate.

I lift weights 3-4 times a week and am very muscular for a woman. Call it genetics. I eat 3-4000 calories a day to maintain. I’m 5ft 2 and weigh 52kg- I’m very lean. I don’t try- my body just burns through calories due to amount of muscle I have.

The number of women I see day in and out pounding on the cardio machines- year after year with no change in body weight…. Is astounding.

Dont be afraid to lift weights and get your metabolism working.

OMG OP, that really doesn't sound right.

I'd suggest joining Slimming World and keeping a very detailed food diary for a month or two. As well as using the planner to track what you eat and drink, take a photo of absolutely everything before it goes in your mouth.

Why? For what?

For this: Then you have the copper bottomed evidence to go to the GP and say, "Something is not right here, test my thyroid, test everything".

How tall are you?

I've been overweight my entire life . Nothing would ever work. Then I got a coach and I now do calorie control. Everything I eat is weighed . Little to no fat or processed food. I've lost 4 stone in 7 months. I thought I was doing calorie control before but I wasn't really
You are not a medical miracle , somewhere you've eaten more calories than you've burned. Agree lots will be water etc.
It's really boring and for 48 years, I didn't want to hear it but it comes down to very simple equations and behaviours

You should see your GP. My first thought was water retention, because gaining that much weight in a month is not fat weight, it's water weight, or at very least sounds like water weight. Generally fat build up is not that quick as there are only so many calories that food contains.

Smaller portions & a little often rather than huge meals. Only eat when hungry.

Nah, easily done. I would guess about 7 pounds of it is water, the rest she can do my eating about 1200 cals a day over her maintenance amount. I mean there is over 200 cals in a glass of wine. 300 in a mince pie.

OverTheGrip · Today 11:31

Also, Christmas is 3 days!

Helenahandkart

Hence the famous Christmas song The Three Days Of Christmas

That made me laugh

Stop eating processed foods and go and see your doctor. You need to get your TSH levels checked. You may have hypothyroidism.

I’m the same. Mine was insulin resistant

you need to find out what foods spike your blood sugar. Than avoid those.

Peri has made a massive difference to me. I gain weight so easily.

This is largely a myth, though, and has been debunked multiple times. Muscle is indeed more metabolically active than fat, it is true. But unless you're a competitive bodybuilder, the difference in the daily TDEE will be under 100-200 kcal for most women of same weight, a piece of toast or two squares of chocolate basically. Not two thousand kcal.