To be so angry at how FAT my back and boobs are

[FatBack2023]

I'm raging.
I absolutely HATE my body shape.
I HATE how FAT my back gets when I gain weight.
And my neck.
And my chin.
And my abdomen.
And my BOOBS!! OMG. I'm carrying around 2 great pendulous gargantuan breasts that get more huge with every extra pound of weight I gain.
And I absolutely HATE how easily I gain weight. I put weight on thunderously fast compared to other people.
Why is this?
I basically have to sub exist on 1,200 cals a day to maintain my weight. If I go over this, my weight rapidly increases but it increases in an accelerated way. I put so much weight on so fast, it's completely disproportionate to the extra calories I eat. If I eat 2,000 cals a day for a few weeks, I gain 1 stone in weight. And my back, neck, chin, breasts and tummy BALLOON.
At the end of November, after maintaining my weight with 1,200 cals all year, the Christmas festivities began and I thought, I'm going to let myself go over 1,200 cals for the next month, and eat & drink Christmas things. So I've indulged. But I've carried on tracking (I use nutracheck) and I have stayed below 2,000 cals most days for the past month, but there have been days when I've gone up to 2,400. But interestingly, looking back at my tracking over the past month, on those days where I've gone above 2,000 cals a day, I've naturally eaten a lot less the following day without consciously thinking about it, back down to 1,500 or 1,200 for a day.
Anyway, over the past month, yes I've had mince pies. Yes I've had cake. Yes I've had trifle. Yes I've had biscuits. Wine. Roast dinners. I confess, I have indulged. But not all the time. And not everyday. I've also had home made vegetable soups and salads. And some days I've barely eaten anything. Some days I've had 1 meal only and tracked 800 cals for the whole day. I haven't just eaten Christmas foods all day every day. But yes I have had those foods over the past month. And still tracked every single thing.
And I have gained 18 POUNDS in weight in 1 month!!!!
And it's all gone on my back and boobs and chin and tummy.
I can literally grab handfuls of fat on my UPPER BACK!!
And my bra is too tight!!
And my chin has 2 pound of lard wobbling about under it when I talk!
And my tummy looks like I'm pregnant!!
But the worst thing of all is my back, it is covered in fat! My upper back fat rolls onto my lower back fat.
OMG. I look horrendous.
I feel horrendous.
Meanwhile my legs, bum, hips and arms remain completely unchanged, no extra ounce of fat anywhere on these areas.
I look like I've put a fatsuit onto my central body, like a fatsuit bodywarmer jacket, leaving my arms and legs as normal.
It's aging too....I look years older with all this extra weight.
Oh help.
How have I gained soooo much weight in only 1 month? I'm sure this isn't normal??
Why does it all go onto my back, boobs and tummy?
Why can't I eat the things other people eat??
Why have I put on 18 pounds in 1 month rather than just a few pounds?
I hate my body right now!!!
I'm 45, 5ft 7, and right now I weigh 15 stone.
1 month ago I weighed 13 stone 10.

I'd also agree with this. I do think the OPs calculations are likely to be out somewhere.

I'm the same age, and about the same hight and weight. I don't track calories but have got down from 15 stone over the last 18 months. I could put that weight on in a week I recon, perimenopause is ridiculous. I remember my usually stick thin dm having a bit of chub at this age, so it must be very hard to control as she controlled her food intake very closely.

I am with you! I've been eating between 1800-2100kcal this month (tracked on myfitnesspal) and I am exceptionally detailed and honest, I go to the gym regularly and do a 10k run twice per week and still gained 7kg this December. The only way I cam maintain my weight is zero carbs, zero sugar and 1200kcal per day. I struggle to lose weight, I even tried slimming world and lost 4lb in the 14 months I was there. I've spoken to my doctor and they don't believe me, blame overeating and menstrual cycle. The only time I lost any significant weight was the 2st I lost from hyperemesis

Could you try the body builder diet? Rice, broccoli and chicken for lunch and dinner. Porrige or eggs for breakfast. Raw fruit and vegetables for snacks.

Another tip is to row back as soon as you see yourself putting on weight. Don’t let it get to 18 lbs of weight gain which is daunting to have to lose hence you’re angry and upset.

I weigh myself regularly and will take action for anything more than a 1kg weight gain (by eating clean and exercising more).

I think this is underestimated. I've slipped lately and it's much much harder.

Yes! I think this is why diets don't really work.

If you're used to eating whatever you want in moderation all year round, you're unlikely to go 'wild' at Christmas or other occasions. Just a little over indulgence but nothing that's going to require a weight loss programme.

I'm back on the wagon today @FatBack2023 Can I suggest zigzagging? It worked well for me in the first half of 2023. It is better for people whose metabolisms merrily adjust to survive on 1200 per day! Some will DENY absolutely that this happens. They argue that studies have been done that prove that the metabolism doesn't adjust to lower and lower rations but I beg to differ, where are the studies on people after they left the deprivation.

zigzagging sounds like it'd suit you down to the ground. Select an amount, like 800 one day and then 1400 the next day and 800 the next. Or give yourself two days off, 800, 1350, 1350. Log everything. Weigh it. Calculate it. Train your body to expect an 800 day to be followed by half as much again the next day. This might be a bit slower but it stops your body getting used to more and more meagre rations. In the second half of 2023 I feel like I trained my body to maintain at 1400 per day. It's crept up again so I'm starting again but from the position of 7 kilos less than I was this time last year.

Today will be an 800 day for me, aiming for same again tomorrow followed by 1400 on 29th.

Age and hormones play a part as well. Cut out as much sugar as possible for a couple of months. Cut non sugar carb intake as well. Things should stabilise. You may not get back to your usual size but you're most definitely not alone.

I despair that the guidelines still advise women that they can eat as many as 1800 calories per day. Well, if you're very young and on the taller side, perhaps you can. But that is given as a blanket requirement for ''women''.

It might seem a bit (or a lot) depressing but the truth is that if you're 51 and 155 cm as I was when I got myself in order, you do not need 1800, I found I could maintain a weight loss with 1400 cals per day so for me that's the number I need to go below to lose.

I admire the optimism of folks thinking they'd lose weight on a diet of 1800 plus. Even going to the gym and running. I walk everywhere and do pilates but no running or weights.

Also I recommend the series Chris Hemsworth did covering this because he's a beautiful beautiful man. I mean erm he tries it all.

Omg I’m exactly the same except mine all goes on my arse, legs and belly lol

I gain weight so quickly but also seem to drop it quite quickly as well - I think the majority of it is bloat, paired with higher than usual salt, sugar, carb and fat consumption.

im ready for a detox and hopefully drop a stone in the next month or 2

Do you exercise, OP?

Yes unfortunately it is a bit away but yes in the sea. Rivers and lakes are ok too but obviously the sea is colder.

It’s too many carbs and lack of exercise that’s the problem. You were in the Obese category before Christmas when you were 13.10 stone. Now you’re even more obese.

I think if you were slim to begin with you wouldn’t notice the extra weight so much. But the fact you were already obese means the extra fat is really visible.

Also it’s not normal to indulge for a whole month. Maybe 2-3 big meals at parties, but not biscuits and mince pies as well. Christmas is only three days plus leftovers - not a whole month!

Hi OP! Firstly, a massive hug as I know how horrible it can be to feel so frustrated and sick of your body!

Secondly, you haven't mentioned if you exercise at all, and how old you are?

The reason I ask is because I had the same issue, and it turned out I have PCOS. This makes it much easier for me to put on weight, and harder to lose it! PCOS can have a big effect on your insulin and cortisol (stress hormone) - which makes it harder to lose weight.

I had to do a complete lifestyle overhaul after going up to 13 stone (at 5 ft 5). I looked awful, and like you, all the weight went onto my boobs, my belly, back, and arms! I'm very top heavy so I just looked disgusting.

What really helped was doing a diet for 12 weeks, reversing out of this diet slowly (i.e. increasing calories by 50ish per week - staying at same weight/losing weight) and then doing the diet again, and reversing again. This way your body is not getting used to a very low calorie diet - this can cause excessive weight and water gain when you do 'overindulge'.

I also added in walking and HIIT sessions (Joe wicks on youtube). I didn't enjoy it much but it did the trick, and I dabbled around in lots of different types of exercise until I found ones that I actually enjoy and look forward to!

I'm now 9 stone and I walk my dog twice a day, run twice a week, and weightlift three times a week. I can pretty much eat what I like as long as it's in moderation and not excessive amounts!

Absoluely this. Have you ever had your thyroid function checked?

I hope the fat shamers who say things like “just burn more than you eat it’s easy” read this as this struggle is real- I could’ve written this. I have PCOS & pile weight on if I glance at food. I’m active too- my job is & I am outside of work too. It’s really really really fucking hard & I wish people understood this & stop thinking they know everything & stop judging!!
Do you have PCOS OP or something else that may make it disproportionally hard to lose weight? Sounds like you carry a lot of water too as when the weight gain is that rapid it is often water weight.
I hope you can be kind to yourself as it’s not like you aren’t trying. It’s very hard especially after 40. It’s upsetting to read such disdain towards your body- its an amazing thing. And it’s just been Christmas too don’t be so hard on yourself xxx

It's not necessarily the amount of calories but the type and combination. Xmas is the nightmare combo of fats and sugars. What your body can't use it stores. Metabolism is slowing, insulin is spiking energy dips. Look at low carb, but more specifically the nutritional value of your meals and amount of processed foods you eat. What I've found is I had to change my life style and what suited my body now. My digestion and metabolism makes it difficult for me to cope with high carb (I've found sugar very difficult to stop once i start i.e 5 jam doughnuts in one sitting), a colleague struggles with fats so high carb works for her. It's really a case of trial and error. I found calorie counting stressful, so found changing content and nutritional value the better option.

It’s horrible op, but honestly unless you’ve a medical problem, and you need to see your doc , then you’ve been eating and drinking way more than you thought. Assuming half a stone of that it water retention, then likely you’ve been eating and drinking about 1200 calories or so a day (averaged over a week ) for the last month more than you need to maintain.

i think thr issue is doing it for the month of December. I get why you wish to, but to be honest, you knew and accepted the price.

also unless you’re very short indeed, you’re eating and drinking more than 1200 a day normally to maintain at close to 14 stone.

so I think the issue here is how you track your calories.

18lb in less than a month?!? I'd be worried something else was going on - even if you took 4lb off for REALLY going for it the last week, that's nearly +lb every two days.
Either you might be miscalculating your calories or you need a trip to the doctors.

Will add to the voices saying start weightlifting! Much more enjoyable if you hate cardio, brilliant for building your mind-body connection and encouraging you to fuel yourself properly, plus if you are like me and hate high-intensity cardio it's brilliant.

5'6, just over nine stone and 63 years old, and I feel you, OP. I swear I could double my bodyweight in a couple of weeks if I ate what I wanted and stopped running. I could give pigs lessons in weight conversion ratios. I also have back fat, however I'm pretty sure that it's not fat-fat but generalised sag. My shoulders are somewhere near my waist now.

I took up running a few years ago. I'm not fast and it's not pretty to see, but running a 4 or 5 miler every day (well, five days a week, I'm not a masochist) has helped to shape my body up, plus I'm not hungry for quite a while after a run either.

Had to limit my eating over Christmas too, three days and now I'm back to my usual diet, but might have to slip a couple of extra days of eating in as the house is still full of cheese.

Do you have a sendentary job and drive everywhere? I stay slim as I live an exceptionally busy life. My default is to be very very busy. Definitely the way forward.

Hi OP I’m your age and height and can happily eat 2000 calories a day and stay exactly the same weight. I’ve over eaten and mostly over - wined the last month and probably been ingesting about 3500 or so. I’ve put on 6 lb.

however, this is just me, i have a lot of muscle and i walk everyday for an hour plus. Lift weights twice a week and Pilates twice a week. Swim every week. I don’t burn many calories but I have a lot of muscle mass for my age which I think gives me a bit of leeway with the eating!

im not really into weighing myself but I try and keep at a shape that I can easily fit a size 12.

it sounds like you’re really not eating very much at all. 1200 cal for me would be an incredibly strict diet and I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so little

Oh OP I hear you. I am 51 and have been diagnosed with high cholesterol. I was 86kg in October this year, at my heaviest in lockdown I was 91kg. Luckily the "doctor putting the fear of god into you" diet is working for me so far and I am now 78kg. Still in the overweight category, no longer obese. (yay!)

I don't believe that cutting out ALL carbs or whatever is sustainable. I know what I need to be eating more of to lower my cholesterol, and what I need to be eating less of (dairy, red meat, cheese, cakes/pastries). I am finding that intermittent fasting is working for me although I don't call it that, I just call it not having breakfast. And have also cut out booze completely.

I think as we get older it does get harder to shift weight, and it accumulates in different places. I don't do formal exercise but get out for a walk when I can.