Took the shine off my Christmas present

[notdoing]

We had and family round for Christmas and Boxing Day and after hosting, finally got round to showing off my gift from DP.

Obviously I was really pleased as it was something I've wanted for a while, not cheap so I hadn't just bought it myself already, and I made that clear. As I'm showing them what I got, my very close friend gets out her phone, searches for the gift and buys herself the exact same thing. It's something you'd wear so I did comment but she made out like it was fine, we won't wear them at the same time etc and I didn't want to ruin the mood.

I just feel like it's not the done thing though and it really took the shine off it for me. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not but just honestly felt a bit gutted 😞

Imitation is the highest form of flattery - don’t worry about it

How is getting the same item as someone else a one-up-manship? Wouldn’t that mean the item the friend bought would have had to be better than OP’s?

No. Just whipping out her phone and ordering one for herself without so much as thinking about it for an hour or two is enough.

It's really rude to make a thing of it then and there...sure she is an adult, can buy herself what she wants when she wants, but to watch you sit down all pleased to show something you are happy to have been gifted and make sure you see her buy it at that moment was very low rent of her! I'd wonder how much of a friend she is...ignorant at best, jealous quite likely.

Perhaps she had already seen it and was on the fence until she saw it in person?

How else was she able to find the item so quickly and order it herself right then and there?

Showing your mum your Christmas gifts is a perfectly normal thing to do.
Especially if you got something special.

Ordering yourself the same thing whilst looking at the gift is a weird crass thing to do.
YANBU you are being normal.

I would take it as a compliment - I think it's unlikely that your friend meant to upstage or offend you.

@phoenixrosehere How else was she able to find the item so quickly and order it herself right then and there?

It's not that difficult to find things quickly online.

I understand, OP. Your special, carefully chosen and treasured present was just an impulse buy for someone else. It would have been better for her to have waited until she got home.

I absolutely hate it if someone goes and buys the exact same thing as me - even if they do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I don't blame you for feeling fed up. A friend/neighbour I used to walk with most mornings (we both had dogs at the time) went and bought a hat in a very similar style to my own. It wasn't identical. It was a different brand and not quite the same colour - but it was similar enough for me not to want to wear mine at the same time as she wore hers. I'd had mine for about 7 years. It still makes me feel mildly annoyed when I think about it.

It’s just rude. I had a friend ask me where I bought a dress I wore when meeting her for lunch. I told her and she got out her phone and bought the same dress for herself there and then. I guess it’s a compliment, but it’s weird. I was annoyed and my dress was just an everyday one.

It's not odd or cringe if your mum asks to see it & you go and get it, then a few people have a look /pass it to each other

@notdoing I'm assuming it's a designer handbag. Something a bit special. Your 'friend' was really rude. Something you were chuffed to get as a gift from your DH, a bit special, she 'there & then' just orders for herself like it's nothing, taking away the special feeling your gift had, had. It was rude & mean.

Yes - rude, mean and crass.

At Xmas me.and a friend sent messages if " what did you get '( from husbands) and we sent each other pictures ( before we laughed / compliments at each others stuff. Notntoe curling if you're nosey bitches like us 🤣