To ignore my managers rude text?

[Anon1359]

I work in Retail and have done for the same company for 12 years. The past year and a half the shop has had a new manager and her moods and attitude really affects the staff in the shop. She is very passive aggressive, if she is in a mood then my god everyone will know about it.

Anyway me and my DD who’s 4 have been ill this Christmas, I’ve worked all the run up to Christmas while I’ve been on my death bed because I didn’t want to leave them short staffed and you are made to feel awful if you call in sick. Don't know how I’ve done it but it’s killed me! I haven’t been able to move off the couch since Christmas Day and I need to rest, I’ve got laryngitis, a cough and flu symptoms and my little girl decided to add a stomach bug to the mix last night.

So I text my manager yesterday a nice polite text like I hope you’ve had a lovely Christmas sorry to text on Boxing Day etc but I’m really not well and my little girl is poorly so I won’t be able to come in tomorrow, to which the respond was:
‘I am with my family. Cover yourself!! You are leaving us short, can no one watch daughter’s name while you work?’

I am livid with her response, not even listen I know you’ve been so ill and still came in don’t worry about it I’ll get it covered. And regardless of my daughter I’m not well either!! So I put in the work group chat if anyone could cover me, the message was read and blanked by everyone but I did try.

My colleagues go into the shop at 5 to open for 6 so I’ve text the morning team leader as early as possible to see if they could try and get cover saying ‘I’m sorry I am really not well, I did try to get my shift covered but won’t be in’

To now I’ve just got another text from my manager saying ‘why are you off?? I’ve had messages this early saying you won’t be doing your morning shift and you haven’t got anyone to cover you? You were told last night to get cover. You will need to come and see me when you come back in tomorrow.’

I am honestly gob smacked, what do I even say in this situation? Should I just ignore her? Or will this make it worse? It’s barely even 7 o’clock and I’m on the couch crying because I feel so anxious, I’ve done nothing but work hard for them and I’m being treated like this! I won’t be able to rest now, I’ll just be panicking all day because I feel guilty and what’s going to happen when I go back to work.

Terrible leadership management, this is why so many people leave under this sort of situation which is totally unprofessional! I'm sure there will be many complaints against her, meanwhile try to ignore her horrible undertone, easier said I know. This type of person who can't control their own moods should not be in charge of others and you don't need to defend yourself, you're ill amd also have rights not to be bullied. Xx

She's a nasty bully and just plain wrong in what's she's saying.
I agree with the others though. Leave your daughter out of it. YOU can't work because YOU'RE ill. And if you hadn't tried to work through when you were ill, (for the best reasons) you may have been better by now.

It’s her job to arrange cover. Being a retail manager is a bitch at Christmas (I’ve done it). She needs to deal with it.

She sounds unprofessional and lazy, but I wouldn’t have texted her either, especially when it’s not following your sickness reporting policy. Having said that, I wouldn’t worry too much about it, you are entitled to take sick leave when unwell.

If the manager did her job properly, the OP might have recovered from her illness quicker! A manager is there to manage. She didn’t offer a deputy to cover her leave so the OP had no option.

The woman was very ill before Christmas but her (misplaced) loyalty forced her to work rather than rest.

The manager’s alarms should have been ringing loud and clear! She had a staff member who was working while ill - potentially passing on her illness to colleagues. She also had a duty of care to ensure a sick member of staff was allowed to take time off to rest and use the company’s sickness policy.

This one’s on the manager.

bet Op works in a tesco express going on experience!

What happened last time union got involved over the serious breach around your sick leave? If she tries to push anything I would put a formal grievance in against her through hr. Has there been any.more messages from her?

I think it’s okay to text as a heads up (you didn’t want to call her on Boxing Day) but always follow-up by saying you’ll call in the morning.

Retail is awful but she sounds like a new level of awful.

Keep communications with her brief, clear, firm and professional.

I know how you feel. This is why I'm desperate to change jobs. I've worked in retail and hospitality for years and every November/December I'm overworked and end up really ill and exhausted in January. I'm a waitress and we close a few weeks in January as it's so quiet so that normally helps. (Unfortunately this year its during my qualifying weeks for maternity so I won't get any SMP 😭)

It's hard when you don't have a HR department and on a zero hour contract. It feels like you're easily replaced and have very little rights. If you're ill you don't get paid and normally get a load of abuse and negativity when you return to work, as it meant the other staff had even more work to do.

I would have responded with:

"Thank you for your unprofessional response. Whilst I appreciate you have a business to run and need to ensure you have the staff - Please refer yourself to staff policy and guidance regarding sickness (reference it to her if you can). I find your management and lack of empathy of my situation to be wholly uncalled for. I have printed off this conversation as evidence of your bullying. Please can you provide me with the complaints procedure so I can discuss this with my Union Rep. Regards (your name)."

If she tries to fire you advise she has no grounds to do so and you will sue her for unfair dismissal, bullying, and harassment.

Unless your contract states you are to organise cover then it is normally the managers job and they should not expect you to do this.

She’s a manager. That’s part of her job. My manager tells us to contact him if we need to when he’s off.

I wouldn’t go back to be honest!! She sounds horrendous.

Start keeping a journal of this harassment.

Talk to your union, asap.

Find out what the company policy is on sick leave.

She is well out of order. I’ve been a manager for 20 years, I’d love an employee like you.

Is this a large company you work for? If so id report her further above her. If I was you i would go to the dr asap get a sick line she can can not question it x

Urgh! I’m a shop manager and I would NEVER treat any member of staff the way you have been treated.
please make the area manager aware of her behaviour and attach a screenshot of the messages.
This behaviour needs nipped now because it’s just vile.
Don’t worry about the chat and ask to take someone in with you. You’ve done nothing wrong at all.
Take care and I hope you’re better soon x

Shes in retail, boxing day isnt usually a holiday in retail.

I think you need to make screenshots of your conversation with that person, maybe print them out too. Show them to your union representative. And if you can still get your hands on the roster where it says this woman was scheduled to work on boxing-day, print that out too. Also : if she were a good person she could've offered to stand in for you herself.

What’s the normal protocol for calling in sick? Do you usually have to arrange cover yourself? OP, regardless of "the protocol" you certainly don not have to cover yourself, not your responsibility. I would deal with the rest of this by being extremely polite from now on, and dealing with it by email not text, copying into the first email the text exchange in a very factual way, and copying in HR.

Okay you did slightly muddy the waters by mentioning your daughter although emergency leave for parental and caring responsibilities is also a thing and I think you can just not dwell on that and be clear that you worked sick under pressure from the manager in the run-up to Christmas, doubtless giving whatever you had to customers and other staff, and are now even sicker and not fit to work. Less is more in terms of what you say, write it in a very neutral way, don't write anything that will make your manager 'look bad' more than she will anyway or she and HR will pick up on it. It's hard but take the high ground.

Hate to say it, because I like to support women as much as possible, but I've seen so much of this nonsense from women in supervisory and management positions in retail (specifically) over the years.

Crikey.
all of the above, just be blunt, you’re not well and not coming in. End of.

retail is a very hard job, they should be looking after staff not demotivating them.

I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest having a bit of sympathy. Retail is a punishing environment when it comes to sickness, and it's full on - which you have experienced also.

I suspect she's just trying to have that one day off a year where she can relax, and then in comes a text to say "going to be off sick".

I get that you've been committed right up to the last and expected that to be acknowledged, but in reality no-one ever gets credit for what they didn't do.

Now I presume she's thought "Bloody great, now I have to send my one day off spoiling everyone else's Christmas to try and get cover", hence wanting you to do it.

I agree it's tactless and aggressive, but try to put yourself in her shoes also.

She is fucking awful. Definitely her issue and not yours OP, you've done nothing wrong. She is unprofessional and seriously lacking in empathy and people skills. Look for a new job asap!

Hope you feel better soon

I have never worked in retail, so please excuse my ignorance and feel free to correct me.

If I did, I would make sure I had backup cover for at least one sick member of staff from 24th Dec - 2nd Jan. People wouldn't be given a choice, it would rotate annually. You are the Xmas backup for Xmas this year, sorry, that's what you get when you work retail!

What sort of manager doesn't have pre arranged backup for the busiest retail time of year?

Get well soon. You really need rest. Take the advice of the HR bods on here and keep it firm and professional. The union have your back. Just focus on getting well and everything else can wait.

I wish this wasn't familiar. Get smart. Learn the rules. Know your rights. You led with a sympathy plea about your daughter. Your daughter has no rights with the company, only you do. If you're sick, you can self-certify up to 7 days. If you vomit or diarrhoea, you must stay off work for 48 hours. Just keep it simple - without inviting people to sympathise over your home predicaments. Companies use things such as a "Bradford Score" number of sick days, by days scheduled to work. It's to hone down on the people who regularly are unreliable. But rule no.1. When contacting your employer, state you have a winter bug and have vommited and had diarrohea. Unless you are in a good relationship with your company and boss, so they appreciate and value you for the work that you do, so that they want to make sure you're supported, just stick to the parameters of your job contract. If you're in a situation where you're regularly unavailable for work, your employer will manage you out the company, usually over a couple of months, but they can't write a bad reference about you. They'll just state the start and finish dates of your contract. So if you're unhappy at work, start looking for a new position, claim winter bug for time for interviews. Your current employer/manager will never discuss sick dates - because you have every right to sue them and they will be fired for gross misconduct if they disclose.