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Original poster

M&S for everyone else... Primark for DIL

176 replies

IrisVonEverec · 26/12/2023 19:25

Can't help but feel there is a message in the pjs handed out by MIL this Christmas.

The primark ones weren't even character based/specially chosen/christmassy. They're just grey all over. And there's no excuses for "don't really know her" as we've been together 20 years.

OP posts:
Balloonhearts · 27/12/2023 19:10

Yeah it's the fact that they weren't even nice. I got one child a top from Choice and one from Asda but Choice didn't really have any nice boys stuff and I wanted something with cars or spaceships or something on it because that's what he likes. It wasn't a snub, just wanted to get something he'd actually wear. Your MIL has no such reason, she just did it to be a bitch.

HedgesK · 27/12/2023 19:16

I’d feel the same as you OP. Seems like you were an after thought? It’d just an odd choice to made on your MILs part. Rise above!

Rockhopper81 · 27/12/2023 19:28

It's not about the cost though, is it? It's about the perception of difference between the brands.

I'm assuming MiL is a similar age to my parents, and with that generation (and the one before them), there's a perception that M&S is quality (we all know that's not true, and quite a lot of it is shite now), so for the same reason I had M&S school uniform and Clarks school shoes courtesy of my grandmother (because these were quality brands back in the 80s), I'm guessing the MiL sees M&S as being a quality brand to gift.

Now Primark - which has some lovely, quality things now comparatively - was one of the original fast fashion, cheap brands, so it most likely has the perception to MiL of being a cheap, lesser quality brand (again, not necessarily true, especially with their increase in prices). Thus, it's a bit of a slight for DiL to be the only one to receive a different brand, especially one that has the perception of being cheaper and poorer quality (again, not saying that's true).

Or - to put it another way - would posters still be so quick to say there was nothing in it if it was the DiLs parents who had brought her designer pjs (don't know any designer brands!), but her husband Matalan or similar??

NoodleDoodle24 · 27/12/2023 19:47

OP you’re getting a lot of grief here for nothing.

You are absolutely right she doesn’t like you. She went to a bargain basement shop for you and went to a premium store for the rest of the family. I would be disappointed too, it’s a sly move as you’d get called ungrateful for pointing it out. I’d be mindful of this in the future and have had similar issues.

Went out of my way when pregnant and suffering from morning sickness to get my MIL presents for her 60th as husband was working away. She peeked at them put them away and never even said thanks. Needless to say I was thrilled I’d made such an effort.

auntyElle · 27/12/2023 19:49

festivepains · 26/12/2023 19:42

Maybe she felt uncomfortable buying a grown ass woman pjs and thought you probably already had it covered but didn't want you to feel left out so went with something cheap in case you hated the idea and never wore them.

Jesus, that's a reach!

tianabiscuit · 27/12/2023 20:01

Next year get her something beige from George at Asda. Sorted.

Becc91 · 27/12/2023 20:05

What's wrong with George at Asda?? Got my whole family, DH and DD clothes from there and they love them :(

tianabiscuit · 27/12/2023 20:18

Becc91 · 27/12/2023 20:05

What's wrong with George at Asda?? Got my whole family, DH and DD clothes from there and they love them :(

Nothing at all. I get clothes from there for myself and as gifts.

But if my MIL thought little enough of me to get a bland gift from Primark while the rest of the family got M&S's finest, I'd be tempted to sling something bland in my trolley for her while I was doing the weekly shop.

T1Dmama · 27/12/2023 20:20

So for Easter buy everyone a Thorntons egg and her a cheap one from Lidl 😂

WillimNot · 27/12/2023 20:53

I sympathise @IrisVonEverec
I've been with DH for 25+ years and we have two DCs.
One of my Sils can't stand me and makes it obvious that DH could've, in her opinion, done better.
I've never had so much as a card from her. She was the only one not to contribute to our wedding (a family tradition in his side). She isn't outwardly hostile in front of him but she says things to me that are obviously nasty on purpose.

I just ignore her at this point. She would no doubt love it if she drove a wedge between us so she could set him up with one of her dull mates. I win by rising above and staying put.

And there's no point calling them.out, they just offended and make you out to be the bad guy/ungrateful/grasping.

You win when you don't give them the ammo

Candycurrantbun · 27/12/2023 21:39

M & S finest? Have you seen some of their pyjamas?

ThinWomansBrain · 27/12/2023 21:44

if you really need/want M&S pyjamas with christmas cartoon characters on, they're probably hugely reduced now.

ThinWomansBrain · 27/12/2023 21:46

T1Dmama · 27/12/2023 20:20

So for Easter buy everyone a Thorntons egg and her a cheap one from Lidl 😂

Some of Lidl's chocolate is seriously good.
Thorntons is overpriced crap with an abysmally low cocoa content.

Maddy70 · 27/12/2023 21:52

I think you're being daft. I have bought gifts from several different shops never once thought if it was considered a less worthy gift if it was from a cheaper place! And certainly there was no ranking !

Maddy70 · 27/12/2023 21:53

Ps. I love grey pjs

Kt1947 · 27/12/2023 22:04

Goodness me, I’d be grateful just for my MIL not to be in a care home receiving 24 hr care for dementia and for my children to have their Nan around, not worrying about whether I got primark or M&S pjs from her.

Ktime · 27/12/2023 22:07

Kt1947 · 27/12/2023 22:04

Goodness me, I’d be grateful just for my MIL not to be in a care home receiving 24 hr care for dementia and for my children to have their Nan around, not worrying about whether I got primark or M&S pjs from her.

It’s not a race to the bottom.

DaNcInGtEqUiLaCaT · 27/12/2023 22:09

Give them to the charity shop and forget all about it. Sleep naked, it's better for your mental health.

Prettyinpink03 · 27/12/2023 23:08

I've had things like this for years with my MIL. It's always small subtle things that would come across as me reaching if I say anything.
I haven't read the replies but if this is unusual for her then I wouldn't read into it. Deep down you'll know from her past behaviour/actions if it's intentional.

wingsanddreams · 28/12/2023 00:07

In my family, everyone gets similar-priced items from similar brands - M&S, John Lewis, Joules, etc. Not Primark for one and everyone else M&S. I usually treat my MIL better presents that she doesn't usually buy for herself. And she always gives me similar presents as she gives my husband. What you give says how much you care and respect each other.

tianabiscuit · 28/12/2023 00:26

Christ of a bike Becc. Since you seem determined to entirely miss my point and get all butt hurt on behalf of Asda, I'll add a little disclaimer here just for you.

** other supermarkets are available

JayJayj · 28/12/2023 08:33

I wouldn’t buy gifts for her anymore (if you are the one that does it) let her son sort it out. If she makes no effort for you don’t put effort back.
orrrr get something cheap tacky that you know she will hate.

Jack80 · 28/12/2023 22:41

I would just happy I got a present and pjs are great

Stuckinarut23 · 29/12/2023 14:21

I think you have to look last the pjs and think about how she treats you normally? If you are just off because they are grey PJ's and from Primark then that's a bit silly and ungrateful. Grey is very popular right now and Primark also have a beige range in right now which people seem to love. Not for me personally its in trena apparently.