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Original poster

M&S for everyone else... Primark for DIL

176 replies

IrisVonEverec · 26/12/2023 19:25

Can't help but feel there is a message in the pjs handed out by MIL this Christmas.

The primark ones weren't even character based/specially chosen/christmassy. They're just grey all over. And there's no excuses for "don't really know her" as we've been together 20 years.

OP posts:
WhereIsBebèsChambre · 26/12/2023 21:15

Poppyseed14 · 26/12/2023 19:38

Bit cunty of her OP 😔

Totally cunty, but done in a way she can blink sadly and cry 'I was just trying to beeee nice'...

Missingmyusername · 26/12/2023 21:15

It’s a bit passive aggressive?
I got M&S pyjamas for MIL and Primark for other relatives, because they specifically requested them and I popped the receipts in the pockets. Then Liz Earle and Estée Lauder skincare sets as ‘surprises’ which I presume they can’t return.

watchingsmurfs · 26/12/2023 21:16

I would definitely see the message in that. No issue with Primark pjs in their own right but it’s all about the context, isn’t it.
Just like when I realised my MIL didn’t like me via the £10 boots voucher I was gifted for my birthday.

thebabessavedme · 26/12/2023 21:19

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mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 26/12/2023 21:26

M&S do regularly sell out of the popular sizes OP. I left it late this year to get Christmas pyjamas - I normally get matching ones with DD but there were no nice ones left in my size (12), although plenty in DD's more unusual 6.

Ktime · 26/12/2023 21:28

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Why take out your crappy Christmas on OP?

Ramalangadingdong · 26/12/2023 21:33

Primark PJs are really nice. If what you say is true she would have had to go out of her way to find horrible ones for you.

rainbowunicorn · 26/12/2023 21:39

TomatoSandwiches · 26/12/2023 19:44

It's othering op to single her item out and purchase it from somewhere else, it's saying, " I don't consider you family like the rest. "
It's not nice op.

For goodness sake. It really isn't othering the OP. 🙄I bought several pairs of Pyjamas for family members from 2 different shops. Nobody was being othered. Some primark ones are better quality and more expensive than M and S ones.

dontgobaconmyheart · 26/12/2023 21:39

I don't see the benefit of over analysing things like this. Ultimately perhaps she doesn't like you that much, what can you do? Maybe she ran out of time and it's nothing. It's her money to do with as she wishes and if what she wishes to do is make a pathetic and very, very vague point then that's up to her. Pass on to charity if you don't like them and forget it.

I got a pair of grey primark PJ's/loungewear type things under the tree and I absolutely love them, so comfortable and something I can actually answer the door in, I wouldn't wear novelty xmas ones.

Pretying · 26/12/2023 21:42

Nothing wrong with Primark however ......

You know your MIL and her shopping habits presumably so I gather you know she knows the difference.

I tread carefully with daughter and son in laws.

FishPie2 · 26/12/2023 21:43

I prefer my Primark PJ's to M and S - they are so much warmer. I would say thank you to her and thank goodness they were not covered in characters or christmas crap. I am wearing some comfy cloud pj's from Primark now and don't need the heating on.

category12 · 26/12/2023 21:47

I'd try to look on the funny side of the fact that she'd go into the hell that is Primark in the Christmas shopping period just to be a dick to you. Hopefully it was hectic in there.

threecupsofteaminimum · 26/12/2023 21:51

Give them to charity and get yourself some posh ones. Fuck her shes sounds like a cunty cunt. As for pp saying there's nothing untoward here, have a word with yourself and see if you'd getting low grade version of EVERYINE else's gifts. It's blatant. Make sure you get her primark vouchers for her bday OP.

Gymnopedie · 26/12/2023 21:52

OP as a lot of people think that Primark pjs are better than M&S (no snobbery on my part, a lot of my clothes are from Primark but I don't wear pjs) then the thing to do is to gush to her how great they are and how much you love them. If there was no malice in it she'll be pleased you like them, if it was intended as a snub she'll be hopping mad. 😁

Aubriella · 26/12/2023 21:55

The Primark ones sell really well on bidding sites.

I often buy a few extra and sell them for double what I paid.

girlfriend44 · 26/12/2023 21:57

Another reason to scale down presents and knock adult buying on the head. Is it worth it?

Original poster
IrisVonEverec · 26/12/2023 22:08

Wow ok a lot of replies. I was mostly posting to vent a bit, because this isn't the first time. A few years ago I received a plain black shapeless jumper 3 sizes too big. So at least she got my size right this time!

It has touched a nerve for me because I could go out right now and find something that MIL would like - something that fits her style, or interests. I don't ever buy a present for someone with so little thought. But apparently, I'm not worth thinking about more than "plain grey or plain black - yes that will do".

OP posts:
Ohnoooooooo · 26/12/2023 22:13

I think you are over thinking this. My teen daughter would prefer Primark over M&S. Some people consider grey a more sophisticated colour. It’s likely she liked the Primark pjs better than the M&S option for you. I mean you have to go into Primark to buy pjs rather than it behind online for M&S - she actually might have made more effort for you.
I suspect you feel she doesn’t treat you well and this is feeding into your feelings.

Vhrukn · 26/12/2023 22:16

Everyone in our house got Fancy chocolates and a £30 gift card from MIL.

I got a pack of biscuits.

threecupsofteaminimum · 26/12/2023 22:17

Don't worry about it, just reciprocate when the time comes.

I'd honestly very gently ask her if shes kept the gift receipt as although you're very grateful for her generosity you'd get much more wear out of them if they were closer to your size.

If she does, get a refund then get yourself some lovely ones.

If she hasn't kept any receipts you know where you stand and you've said something about the sizing issue. Flowers

Ktime · 26/12/2023 22:18

IrisVonEverec · 26/12/2023 22:08

Wow ok a lot of replies. I was mostly posting to vent a bit, because this isn't the first time. A few years ago I received a plain black shapeless jumper 3 sizes too big. So at least she got my size right this time!

It has touched a nerve for me because I could go out right now and find something that MIL would like - something that fits her style, or interests. I don't ever buy a present for someone with so little thought. But apparently, I'm not worth thinking about more than "plain grey or plain black - yes that will do".

Seriously stop buying for her. Let DH sort it. She doesn’t deserve you knowing her style and interests.

goodgriefsean · 26/12/2023 22:27

Meh my mum thought the Primark PJ's she bought DH and I were unisex so he's now sporting a large ladies with a fetching scooped neckline. Not reading too much into it!

Wimpeyspread · 26/12/2023 22:34

Totally not the point, but I prefer Primark PJs, I find they fit better

Nineteendays · 26/12/2023 22:48

our local primark is horrendous at Christmas time with how busy it gets. It takes maximum effort to go there, shop and then queue. Surely it would have been easier for her to just get something for you from m and s but maybe she genuinely couldn’t see anything there you might like?

Alohapotato · 26/12/2023 22:49

is not that primark are bad is that MIL spend less money on you because she does not feel you are part of the family. I would ignore it and gift her primark grey pijama next christmas.

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