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Original poster

M&S for everyone else... Primark for DIL

176 replies

IrisVonEverec · 26/12/2023 19:25

Can't help but feel there is a message in the pjs handed out by MIL this Christmas.

The primark ones weren't even character based/specially chosen/christmassy. They're just grey all over. And there's no excuses for "don't really know her" as we've been together 20 years.

OP posts:
Birdcar · 26/12/2023 22:51

I think you might be over thinking this one

RosesAndHellebores · 26/12/2023 22:55

I think she's been a meanie. In your shoes @IrisVonEverec I'd cut them up nicely into dishcloth squares and ask her to help ilwith the washing up. In RL I wouldn't actually dare, they'd just go to the charity shop.

You have to be the bigger person and pity her pettiness.

JayJayEl · 26/12/2023 23:40

OR - hear me out - she saw the Primark pjs and thought you'd like that particular set?? Thought we'd stopped all the absolute bullshit of something being 'better' because it was more expensive/came from a certain shop!!

If they're not to your taste then oh well. Even with the most specific taste in the world someone could choose something that you're not keen on!!

JayJayEl · 26/12/2023 23:50

RosesAndHellebores · 26/12/2023 22:55

I think she's been a meanie. In your shoes @IrisVonEverec I'd cut them up nicely into dishcloth squares and ask her to help ilwith the washing up. In RL I wouldn't actually dare, they'd just go to the charity shop.

You have to be the bigger person and pity her pettiness.

Cut up a perfectly good pair of pyjamas because you don't like the style/they're from Primarni...??!!

MzHz · 26/12/2023 23:55

IrisVonEverec · 26/12/2023 22:08

Wow ok a lot of replies. I was mostly posting to vent a bit, because this isn't the first time. A few years ago I received a plain black shapeless jumper 3 sizes too big. So at least she got my size right this time!

It has touched a nerve for me because I could go out right now and find something that MIL would like - something that fits her style, or interests. I don't ever buy a present for someone with so little thought. But apparently, I'm not worth thinking about more than "plain grey or plain black - yes that will do".

You’re mistaken, a LOT of thought went into what she bought for you.

not nice thoughts clearly.

now you know where you are

burn the fucking pyjamas or gift them back to her for her next occasion

doesn’t matter if the size is wrong, just make the point and tell her no gifts from now on, TYVM.

MzHz · 26/12/2023 23:56

RosesAndHellebores · 26/12/2023 22:55

I think she's been a meanie. In your shoes @IrisVonEverec I'd cut them up nicely into dishcloth squares and ask her to help ilwith the washing up. In RL I wouldn't actually dare, they'd just go to the charity shop.

You have to be the bigger person and pity her pettiness.

Meanie? Are you 9 years old?

Stuckinarut23 · 27/12/2023 00:05

Do you normally shop in Primark op? To be honest my family and DH family spend more on their children and grandchildren, then their in-laws. I don't see a problem with that if I'm honest. DH brought me m and s PJ's as he thought I'd like them more because they are m and . I'm taking them back and will probably get Primark or supermarket ones as alot nicer styles.

RobertaFirmino · 27/12/2023 00:05

I understand why you feel slighted but do you wear a particularly small size? Primark go down to 4 or XXX so much smaller than M&S (who I've always found to be generous anyway).

MrBojnokopffsPurpleHat · 27/12/2023 03:13

It's possible that it a pointed gift which could equate to MIL thinking you're not quite worth "the extra", whether that's time, money or consideration. It's very subtle in itself, as you all received the same thing on the surface.

If it's one or two raised eyebrow of a gift over many years I'd just say it was just poorly chosen for your taste. It happens to even the most thoughtful gift-givers. Maybe she thinks black/grey are "safe". If this is an ongoing pattern you're just now picking up on then she probably doesn't care too much about whether you like them or not.

WandaWonder · 27/12/2023 03:13

Apart from the label what is the difference

DarkForces · 27/12/2023 03:22

I'd have to really like someone to queue in Primark for them. I get M&S stuff delivered free to a local store with a free car park outside. Much less effort!
Sorry you're disappointed though 😞

listsandbudgets · 27/12/2023 06:49

Othering or slighting you would have been a pack of dishcloths and a toilet brush.

she bought you pyjamas and they just happened to be from a different shop and a simple classic colour.

i really like primark pyjamas in fact i'm wearing some right now

LouisCatorze · 27/12/2023 10:30

If you're looking for signs that you're being treated differently, undoubtedly you'll find them. Whether the intent was there in the first place is another matter.

I bought DS Christmas PJs in the sale from M&S last January. Was considering getting DD some from Primark recently because they used to have a really good choice of the type of thing she'd like. Didn't in the end as I thought the quality was poor for the increased in recent years price point.

Does that mean I favour DS over DD? Certainly not! Just thinking outside the box a bit, and choosing to match PJs to the individual's taste.

And yes, if you're an XS, M&S wouldn't have much choice as their smallest size for women is generally an 8 rather than a 6 (or even a 4).

Fluffmum · 27/12/2023 17:46

At least she got you a present . I like the plain ones in primark are they the soft lounge type ones

Tonight1 · 27/12/2023 17:52

It's only PJs, let it go

MrsClatterbuck · 27/12/2023 17:58

Sorry but all grey to me smacks of prison vibes

Zerosleep · 27/12/2023 18:02

Don’t blame you OP, I would repay the gesture with a Primark gift voucher or equally shitty pjs on their birthday. Some people need a demonstration to get it.

CasperGutman · 27/12/2023 18:05

The issue here is that plain grey PJs are a crap present, wherever they're bought from. I wouldn't care about Primark vs. M&S. They're both bog standard high street shops as far as I'm concerned.

Conkersinautumn · 27/12/2023 18:13

Plain grey does sound awful, dingy looking pj's are hardly going to bring any good mood vibes. I'd be pretty upset by something totally drab.

LlynTegid · 27/12/2023 18:15

Primark for anyone is unreasonable.

Candycurrantbun · 27/12/2023 18:19

What's wrong with plain grey pyjamas? I much prefer plain ones.

RallySooney · 27/12/2023 18:25

It's a pointed message. She doesn't really like you.

Topsyturvy78 · 27/12/2023 19:02

Maybe she couldn't get your size in M&S. There's not much difference in price now anyway.

DojaPhat · 27/12/2023 19:04

Scrantonicity2 · 26/12/2023 19:39

Do you usually judge your relationship with someone based on what shop they bought a gift in, rather than the actual relationship?

DM used to buy my DH PJs from Primark. Never occurred to me it was a Secret Message About Her True Feelings.

Deliberately obtuse posts like this really annoy me!!!

CantFindMyMarbles · 27/12/2023 19:07

Plenty of things are more expensive in Primark than M&S. I bought my DH chinos from M&S that are better quality and £10 cheaper than Primark.