To be disappointed with SILs decision re new baby.

[ankara]

Respecting that all parents are quite within their rights to determine interaction between others and their babies, I am very disappointed and a bit 🙄 at SILs decision to put up a big sign at baby's cradle saying no touching , no lifting, no kissing.
There are no medical reasons for this. Baby is three weeks old.
None of the family have been allowed to do the above unless baby has been handed to family to give a bottle or r change baby.
I understand; that this is their first and is of course most precious but we are all a bit and also disappointed as we love babies and we're so looking forward to cuddles .
Brother just goes along with her.
Is this a new thing? My kids are nearly teens now and I've not seen this before .

Very well said, thank you. I am regretting my former comment as I probably had not properly digested the info in the post.

The sign is a bit much but I’m with her 💯 infact I wish I stood up for myself and children more when younger.

A woman I worked with has her baby nearly die from family kissing him as a newborn amd he contracted RSV. Before 3/4 month kissing, holding and cuddling can be dangerous for passing things to babies.

But in the grand scheme of things she’s trying to keep the baby safe so I applaud her.

I believe one of the reasons that medics have proposed for the increased number of respiratory infections in infants is the lockdown - because infants were exposed to far fewer germs and therefore did not develop immunity.

Of course, if a family member or friend had flu, cold or any other symptoms it would be unwise for them to have contact with a baby but I think it is being over-cautious to prohibit any close contact from anybody but the parents.

My mother was a heavy smoker (it killed her in the end). I told her NEVER to smoke in the same room as my children. One day I entered the room to find her holding my son, with a cigarette in her hand. I lost the plot with her saying NEVER EVER pick up my child with a cigarette in your hand. "I don't do that", she said - whilst actually holding my child and the burning cigarette! I hate to say it, but I didn't like my mother very much.

I think it is being over-cautious to prohibit any close contact from anybody but the parents.

The mother in this thread didn't do that.

It's not that individual infants weren't exposed to germs, it's that noone wasand so viruses were lying dormant and once we started socialising noone had built up the usual annual immunity and so all viruses ran rampant. Babies have always needed to be shielded front he worst of germs especially before their vaccines but now it's worse as more.is circulating so more important to protect babies. Why would you put a child's health at risk to cuddle someone else's newborn

Its the latest thing fad among new first time parents! I think its silly and completely neurotic but just smile sweetly and go along with it!

The level of entitlement to somebody else's newborn baby is astounding, in these comments.

I imagine the women in these people's lives have a good measure of said commenter and likely would never have asked for babysitting.

It just made me remember that baby a few years ago, who was kissed by someone with a cold sore, contracted the virus, and died as a result. I’d had no idea things like that could be fatal for babies, was a real shock. People forget that in the ‘olden days’ the U5MR was shockingly high

Seriously! You think you know better than the doctors...wow

😂

Well I wanted to share my babies with my loved ones, who were the only other people in the world who loved them nearly as much as I did.

If your relatives were flakey, that's on them. Mine weren't.

This lack of respect for the wishes of the babies parents is almost certainly why there's a sign. Not your baby, not your rules, however much you may think its madness.

You perhaps don't know the full background, perhaps it was a difficult pregnancy, or an underlyingvheqlth condition you arent privy to, or, for good reason or not, there's some sort of health anxiety. Maybe the parents just don't want the baby to be passed around like a toy for others amusement or are getting their boundaries in place early out of fear they will be ignored otherwise.

Good for her.

You sound entitled.

Sounds crazy to me unless the child Is immuno suppressed or something, or I suppose off for some reason there are an unusual number of people picking the child out of their cot…

this fear about babies and germs and protecting them from germs sounds paranoid and anxiety related rather than based rationally

The hyperbole goes on!
Who are these people who are grabbing, swooping and slobbering over babies?
I stand by my original conclusion that it's all about control. I am also irritated by the assumption that no-one knows how to act around babies apart from the parents. It's almost as if they are the first ones to have a baby.
I think secretly the last thing these parents want is for no-one to want to hold the baby. What they really want is people to beg them then they can make their point.
I also wonder if the reason so many babies on here apparently have landed in hospital is because they have been kept cocooned away from germs? Just a thought.

Now THAT'S entitled as well as rude. Why do people think being a new mum entitles you to be a complete arse?

Babies have ended up in hospital and nearly dying because RSV (which in most cases is just the common cold) is dangerous for them.

reducing the risk of babies getting RSV or any other illnesses when still too young to properly fight it off isn’t being paranoid, it isn’t being over protective. It’s being sensible.

its sad that so many people put their need for a cuddle above a babies need to be safe.

when my son got rsv even I couldn’t cuddle him for nearly 2 weeks so I apologise if I don’t have much sympathy for an aunt who only sees the baby every few months feeling put out!

Well said!

Did u think lockdowb was also wrong? Would you have been okay for everyone to just carry on as normal, after all we all have a fully developed immune system and well as you say why ve so anxious over covid its just another germ

My baby has had visitors a couple of times a week for ten weeks, been on public transport and out and about. We've only bathed him four times and we use vinegar to clean, not antibac.

He still ended up in A&E with blue lips ten days ago.

Sorry this happened to you- hope your baby is ok.

@Katypp is absolutely insistent that mums are all on power trips. Seems a bizarre way of thinking to me.

There is irrefutable evidence that newborns/very young infants have underdeveloped immune systems so are more vulnerable to bugs eg those that would manifest as a common cold or cold sore in an adult. This has been pointed out on numerous occasions on this thread but this poster is not wanting to take this on board for some reason.

No-one is disputing that babies benefit from interaction with others but it is a fact that very young babies can become more unwell than older babies. Newborn babies need to bond with their mothers predominantly anyway and they can’t even see further than a few inches in front of their face so ‘bonding’ with aunties etc isn’t really going to happen at this stage. So surely it’s safer and more beneficial for them to have the majority of interactions with extended family when they are a bit older and more robust. By then they are eating stuff off the floor/going to babies groups/nursery etc anyway and will also have had benefit of first vaccinations too.

You sound clueless

Because ppl say things like 'let us help' but actually mean get up and wait on us while we hold the baby you just made who only actually wants to be on you.

@Katypp well said. But on MN new mums are like the holy grail and should get away with anything.