Mum wouldn't let my newborn put on Christmas outfit

[sleepsuitbag]

I'm got my mum helping with the newborn and u bought a Christmas outfit. I wanted to put him in it last night for cuddles etc. she said no. At 11.30 today (going to relatives m for 2pm) I suggested again - again no.

AIBU in thinking I can dress my child in whatever I want, whatever I want and she needs to back down. She said he might dirty it - well stop changing nappy straight away as baby isn't finish pooing.

Even if they did, why would you attempt to doxx the OP?

@ManateeFair in future, pls don’t attempt to doxx someone if they’ve posted under a different username. People name change for so many different reasons

You do you.

I wanted my baby to wear the cute outfit I bought for him, for our first Christmas. And I do mindfulness how I want.

Don't know. Guess she was thinking of future problems

I'm thoroughly confused. Why are you asking your Mum's permission and why are you not just changing your baby into his Christmas outfit yourself. Do you have a partner there to back you up?

I also dont understand why you are asking for her permission and accepting when she says no...

I didn't ask for permission, I said "shall we" because the outfit was next to the baby whilst they were getting nappy changed etc.

I guess if you want your baby to wear the outfit you've chosen you probs need to dress baby yourself. PPD is horrible but this really isn't the hill to die on. Hope it got better and your first Christmas Day with your baby was lovely.

Are you quite young op ? If you are I've been there as a teen mum, you need to establish boundaries, don't argue over it or even make it a discussion. That's your baby, just bring him down in what he's wearing and that's that. If baby's sick on it then it's not the end of the world, it's what babies do. If they weren't sick on that outfit they'd be sick on something else.

You are doing it again. Abdicating responsibility and shrugging your shoulders saying 'i dunno' like a teen and deferring decision making.

You NEED to stop doing this. And your Mum needs to butt out from taking over.

This isn't healthy and won't help your PPD.

If you want cuddles with your baby wearing their first Christmas outfit on Christmas Day, just do it. Who is cuddling your baby now? How old is he?

Op is this thread helping you?

Because you are only replying to people who you disagree with. Like you are looking you only engage in confrontation.

Perhaps because you can’t feel you can’t express yourself in real life to your mum?

But it’s not particularly healthy for you.

What “future problems” would an outfit cause? Genuine question.

@sleepsuitbag - could you say this - “Mum - I really want a cuddle with my baby in their Christmas outfit, so I’m going to put them in it now. It will be so cute - you will melt!” - then just take the baby and change them. No need for falling out or stress - just a cheerful statement and swift action.

When your mum sees her grandchild in a cute Christmas outfit, she will be too happy for any problems or recriminations.

Do everything yourself and then you never have to worry about interference from anyone else.

If you are reliant on others then that comes at a price I’m afraid.

So you've brought a Christmas outfit and your Mom has blocked you every time you've gone to put it on the baby, when by tomorrow it'll be too late.
Is it highly flammable

I didn't ask for permission, I said "shall we" because the outfit was next to the baby whilst they were getting nappy changed etc.

Yes but you did as she said! You asked again later, she said no again. Why are you asking her? Do what you like with your own baby.

You just need to be firm OP. PPD is obviously very hard but that doesn't make you incapable of decision making or no longer the mother of the child.

I'd not ask her at all, just do what you want and remind her of the above if she commented (which she shouldn't)

You can dress your baby in anything you want. My advice is not to keep anything 'for best' as baby will grow out of it before you get the chance.

Please put the outfit on your baby and take lots of photos of him and get lots of photos taken with you holding him.

You should probably have given the context that you're not well and your mum is stepping in to look after your baby with you while you can't manage on your own, otherwise your OP makes little sense.
It's impossible to say whether you're being unreasonable or not because we have no idea how much your mum needs to do at the moment. Possibly she's over stepping or possibly she's doing most of the childcare and has a good reason for saying no.

I'm just going to drop it.

I've stated that I was worried baby wouldn't remember I'm the primary care giver because he's being passed around like a hot potato and I rarely hold him - and it was dismissed

OP in future don’t say anything like “shall we….” Just pick him up and do what you want to do.

I assume there’s no father on the scene and you are quite young which is why you’re living at home and your mum is the secondary care giver.

It can be very hard to find the balance if she’s helping you out a lot, but little things like this are good ways of asserting yourself and reminding her that it’s your baby and you are in charge.

PND is awful and I’m glad you have some support but some people can be controlling and take over, so you need to do the majority of the nappy changes, feeds, baths, bedtimes etc and then you won’t feel so uncomfortable wanting to cuddle your own baby.

I'm not young and it's my house :/