Mum wouldn't let my newborn put on Christmas outfit

[sleepsuitbag]

I'm got my mum helping with the newborn and u bought a Christmas outfit. I wanted to put him in it last night for cuddles etc. she said no. At 11.30 today (going to relatives m for 2pm) I suggested again - again no.

AIBU in thinking I can dress my child in whatever I want, whatever I want and she needs to back down. She said he might dirty it - well stop changing nappy straight away as baby isn't finish pooing.

Your mum won't let you??

This is your baby! I'm assuming you're an adult?

Time for a massive look at the way you think about yourself - you are the mum now.

Have a look for some Assertiveness techniques.

You'll be needing them as a mother of a baby, toddler, teenager - and it's best to start developing them now.

Are you the parent or is your mum?

Last year, whilst I was cooking Christmas dinner three weeks post partum, I asked MIL to get DD dressed into her Christmas outfit before dinner. MIL had turned up completely uninvited expecting dinner, despite being vegan 🙃 She in fact went and picked out a completely different outfit she thought looked more comfortable. I didn’t get an opportunity to put her in the outfit we’d picked out and still am disappointed about it a year on!

Ignore your MIL and dress your baby it whatever you want!

The simple answer here is stop asking permission to dress your baby as you wish. Don't even discuss it. Simply pick up your baby, take him off to change him or whatever - and put him in whatever outfit you choose. Job done. It doesn't require a debate or approval from your mum. Treat any subsequent remarks from your mum with the energy they deserve; none. Just go "oh well..." and carry on doing whatever you're doing. You're a new mum - you don't have time to debate these things.

How old are you? Teen mum or something? Why is your mum so involved and why are you asking her? If you want to dress your child then dress your child. Your mum literally doesn’t get a say. The only way this makes any sense is if you’re a teen mum and your own mum has sort of stepped into the parenting role for you, if that is the case then you need to realise that you are the parent and you absolutely are allowed to create your own boundaries and make decisions for your child by yourself. She has had her turn being a parent and making the decisions.

It's your baby so you tell your mum what happens.

It isn't your mum's business how you dreess your baby.

Just change your baby. Get the clothes and go change her. You really need to challenge this dynamic and assert your place as parent.otherwise you’ll end up with her undemining your parenting in 5 yrs time or with her actually parenting your child while you are on the side lines. I’ve seen this in our family. My cousins son went to stay with his grandparents at age 8 and they and grandparents decided he wasn’t going home. Only just moved back with mum now at 16.

Are you young op and/or living at home? I’m just wondering why she thinks she gets a say. Either way, the baby is your child, so you make decisions about clothes etc. you need

Why on earth do you have to do what your mum says? Tell her to back off and that you'll dress YOUR baby in whatever you want.

Are you quite young OP? If you are an adult I would advise you to laugh and tell her to bugger off but I appreciate that this may not be the case as you may be young and living with her?
Either way though - it's YOUR choice, not hers.

Why are you suggesting things about your child? It’s your child, you can do what the bloody hell you like, stop being such a doormat.

It's not your mum's decision. It's your baby.

It’s not her baby….

Is it your baby or your mums baby?

If it’s your mums baby then she gets to say what it wears and you can’t override that.

If it’s your baby then you shouldn’t even be asking your mum’s permission at all.
You take your baby and change it into it’s clothes, like I assume you do every day?

Why is your mum changing the baby's nappy? Why does she have a say in what time the baby gets dressed?
I can find no other explanation but you being a teenage mum. In which case you can't have it both ways. Either you parent your child or your mum does. So change and dress your own baby.

What's the back story here? It's clearly not yo to your Mum what you dress your child in, so why are you like this?

Are you very young or disabled?
Is she raising the baby as her own?

Is the father involved at all?

It sounds like she’s the one parenting your baby and so it depends on your circumstances.

If you’re still in school or something and you’ve given the baby up and she’s taken over it’s care, then she has more say than you do.

If you are disabled and she just helps you out because you’re not physically able to do it yourself, then you still have more say than her.

Your baby your choice. You are mum you know what’s best for your baby
you get to say
what baby wears
what baby eats
when baby sleeps
etc etc

why did you let her stop you?

Why is she consistently changing the baby?

It almost reads like 2 parents falling out over what to do with their joint child?

Have you, for what ever reason, allowed her to become a parent to the child?

Just put the outfit on your own baby.

"Little milk jug". That has made me feel all warm and gooey. What a wonderful comment to make 🥰

What’s the outfit?

A gold lame suit with a giant star head piece then I can understand your mum trying to delay it.

I wanted to put him in it last night for cuddles Your choice but this is an oddly childish statement. You’d have to undress him again to put him down for the night so seems like an unnecessary palaver.

It sounds as though your mum is doing all childcare if you don’t have a moment alone with your baby to dress him yourself.